Page 23 of Implode

I’m starting to grow exasperated with this interrogation. The only thing I know for certain right now is that I miss Claire, and I want her back in my life in some capacity. The details of the big picture are still blurry in my vision. Plus, I don’t even know if she will want to try again. While her closure gift to me of a hundred dick desserts may not have sent the exact message she was intending, that by no means suggests she wants to get back together either.

“I’m tired of missing out on life,” Penny answers sadly, tears falling out of her eyes.

“Pen, you aren’t missing anything if you aren’t healthy enough to enjoy it.” Her tears make me so sad. “What is this really about?” I pass her a tissue while she sniffles into it. It guts me to see her this upset.

“Maybe if you had your own love life to entertain yourself with, you would stay out of mine.”

Finally, she has shared her point to all of this. “Is that why you wanted to get released early?”

She shrugs. “Partly. But the reason changed when I realized that you or Graham or Dad had threatened my boyfriend—”

“That delivery guy?”

Penny looks off to the side of the room. “He’s more than just a delivery guy, Nic. Now, he doesn’t even look at me. Was that really necessary?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I shrug. “Just trust us.”

“That’s all you have to say?”

“That’s all you need to know about the topic.”

“You know what, Nic? In case you haven’t noticed, I am a grown-ass woman. And you cannot dictate and control whom I date or what I do in my spare time. Got it?”

“This is the consequence of having two older brothers who specialize in privacy and security,” I say nonchalantly. I don’t have an ounce of guilt for threatening her boy-who-happens-to-be-a-friend to stay away from Penny. Once I realized she was having romantic feelings toward the Tuesday-Thursday delivery guy, I immediately did my research. “Plus, you can do better, Pen. The guy didn’t even have a high school diploma. You have better judgment than that.”

“Wow, how aboutyoubeing judgmental, Nic? Plus, I didn’t even finish college or have a degree.”

“Then how about focusing your attention on that?”

“I’m going to start dating again. That’s a fact.”

I nod. I figured as much. “Just as long as I approve.”

“Whatever, Punk.”

I laugh over Penny resurrecting an old nickname she gave me growing up.Punk. To her, I was always the brooding middle child who only appeared calm on the outside.

I can’t stop her from living her life. I can just try to steer the assholes into the opposite direction of her. There’s more to Mr. Delivery Boy that I am not sharing with her. He also had a petty theft misdemeanor back when he first turned eighteen. Granted, we all do stupid things in our teens. Hell, I’m still doing stupid things as an adult. But surely Penny can pick someone who can provide for her. She deserves someone to give her the world.

Claire deserves the same. However, the thought of anyone else trying to give to her what I know she needs makes me want to hurl something—correction,someone—at the wall. I don’t want her to move on with someone else, but I also don’t want to equate lust with love. Does that make me an asshole? Of course it does.

Penny clears her throat, jolting me back to the present.

“What are the chances Mom will not pick apart my life when I drop you off at their place?”

“Slim to none,” she mutters with a knowing smile.

“Thought so.”

“Yeah, you don’t stand a chance with that woman. She is ready to marry you off as soon as Graham and Angie tie the knot. Probably already has your tux picked out and everything.”

“She needs to find a hobby,” I say blankly.

“She has. It’syou.”