Page 148 of Inflame

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It’s a sobering realization that I have few people in my life to lean on in this moment. I can’t call Graham. I definitely won’t call Nic. And while Angie would help, it would pull her into a shitstorm she doesn’t deserve to be in.

So I drive and drive.

When I get to Blake’s loft, I throw my unclosed luggage onto the sofa next to Henry who is playing some murder-everything-in-sight video game. He grunts a hello and then undresses me with his eyes in between scenes. I feel like I need a shower.

Making my way into the kitchen, I retrieve an ice pack from the freezer and apply it to my swelling hand before using it on my face. If I’m going to keep taking swings at men, I should probably learn some type of fighting technique, because dammit, this hurts.

“Where’s Blake?”

Henry points to his room, and I walk over and give it a couple of light knocks. He opens, gives me a once-over, and then frowns. “What’s wrong? You’re holding ice. Something is obviously wrong. I won’t take no for an answer. You are going to tell me everything.”

I walk in, flop down on his perfectly made bed, and cover my eyes with my hands. “My life is a mess.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again.”

“Oh no, what happened? Start from the beginning.”

“I fell in love with a man who is incapable of loving me back. And the guy that I broke up with prior to that is curled up in the fetal position on his front lawn from the injuries I inflicted on him. All well deserved.”

“Damn, girl. Love? There’s so much to unpack here. You really think it’s love? Didn’t you just meet him? And are you going to be arrested?”

“It’s love,” I say flatly, trying to follow Blake’s train of thought. “I wish it wasn’t, but it is. And it sucks. Zero out of ten, I do not recommend. And as for being arrested, I sure hope not.”

“How did this happen? And so quickly?”

“Nic and I have known each other for a year. Plus, over the whole wedding planning, we’ve spent a ton of time together. Trust me, if I could choose who I would fall in love with, I sure as hell wouldn’t have picked him.”

“Oh Claire Bear, I’m sorry,” he says, sitting on the edge of the bed, patting my leg. “How can I help without being your rebound?”

I laugh through my tears. Of course Blake would make me laugh at my lowest. Every time I think about the moment I told Nic that I love him and seeing his appalled reaction, I get sick to my stomach. Ugh, how could I have been so stupid? For someone who prides herself on reading people, I sure misread Nic.

“I just need to gain control of my life and make some money so I can find a place to live on my own. I’m tired of allowing life to drag me down.”

“Give yourself time to grieve for a relationship that is ending, Claire. Otherwise you are just masking the pain that you feel inside and will just move laterally, instead of moving forward.”

I nod. “You’re right. But change starts today. Mark my words, Blake, I refuse to look back when I can move forward.”

“You’re going to need to grieve for the loss of this relationship, Claire Bear. So, all of this tough girl facade may work on someone else, but you don’t have me fooled. Let’s go watch some movie where a pet dog dies, and we can cry it out together on the couch.”

“That sounds counterproductive.”

“Nope. Quite the opposite. We need to detox from these bad relationships with the cleansing of tears. It will be ceremonial. Like saging yourself from the inside out. Would you prefer those highway dog rescue videos instead? I’m sure we can find a compilation clip.”

“The one where another dog pulls a hit dog out of traffic?”

“That’s the one. So worth it.”

“Henry is there with his warm cheesy breath playing video games.”

“Not for long. The dude needs to get a hobby.”

Blake pulls me from the bed and pushes his door open a bit too hard, making it slam against the side wall.

“Easy!” Henry yells, jumping back farther into the sofa where I have to sleep tonight.

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