It feels weird being here. This was where Ethan took me on our very first date when he introduced me to his ex-wife at a symphony being held here. He wanted to even the score with her fresh date, and I guess I played the part well enough because he kept me along for an extended ride.
My date helps me out of the car, hands over his keys to the valet, and ushers me toward the entrance where a formally dressed doorman greets us with a smile, a nod of his chin, and a “good evening.”
“Thought we could eat at El Pastel,” he suggests. “The chefs here are some of the best in the world.”
“Sounds good,” I answer. My voice sounds dry, and I could really use a drink.
He guides me through the lobby, pointing out the architecture and naming each artist for all of the wall displays. He acts like he has a personal relationship with each one of them. He is treating me like I have never been here before and has deemed himself an expert on all things Parkhouse Plaza.
I stare at the center pool that is the focal point of the entire lobby. The cylindrical column in the middle of the pool has water cascading down the sides, adding even more attention-popping elements to the already impressive display.
My date ushers me into the elevator and glances around for the listing—at least that is what I am assuming he is doing.
“It’s on the eighteenth floor,” I say softly.
“Excuse me?”
I clear my throat. “I said it’s on the eighteenth floor.”
He nods and hits the eighteen without uttering another word. He actually remains quiet until we are about to head into the restaurant.
“El Pastel is Spanish for the wordcake. It actually has multiple meanings but this is the one that the owner preferred. It is not a bakery though.”
He says the words slowly so that even I can understand them. I want to roll my eyes.Thanks for mansplaining that for me. If only he asked me one thing about myself. Then he might learn that I grew up in a very diverse area of northern Virginia and am well acquainted with the basics of multiple languages. You get that way when you work at a restaurant that is in a high tourist area and just miles from Washington, D.C. But why would he care about any of this information? If it doesn’t serve him, then why bother?
When I originally joined the agency, I found it thrilling to go out with multiple men in a week’s time. I would dress the part and play a role. It was fun. Invigorating. Yet, here I find myself about a year later and am bored out of my mind. Maybe it is the fact that I am finally growing up or the fact that I am doing this solely for the money. I realize how demeaning this job can be for my own brain. I’m not some bimbo. I have ambitions and dreams. I just need the capital to get me on the path that will help me to succeed.
When the waiter seats us, my date goes about ordering for the two of us, winking at me, which I find super creepy and outdated. No one winks outside of emojis. It is no longer a thing. I want to inform him of his faux pas, but that would require me having added conversation. And right now, I just want this night to end.
I turn to the waiter and smile politely, adding, “Please make sure the items that are set in front of me are vegan.” I already know without asking that a place this upscale is on the organic train. Most fancy restaurants in Portland seem to cater to the health conscious. It is part of the reason why I love living here so much.
“Of course.”
I settle back into my seat. I haven’t had much of an appetite since leaving things unsettled with Ethan in Vegas. It is hard to eat when life is so uncertain. I just do not have much drive. My couple of days of cleansing are over, and I am back to eliminating processed food from my diet and sticking with plant-based nutrients.
I would try to make small talk right now and feign interest, but he seems content telling me about every ingredient that went into the drink that is being served to me.
When our food arrives, I listen to him rattle off the descriptions, despite my plate being different due to the adaptations made for my dietary needs. I just let him think he is on target and focus on how good the food tastes. I honestly can’t remember the last good meal I have eaten. It had to be in Vegas and definitely before Ethan arrived.
My stomach fills up fast, and I can barely finish half of my plate. When I turn to get my napkin that nearly falls to the floor, I notice out of the corner of my eye Ethan sitting and having dinner with a group of men. Beside him is his ex-wife. Her hand is on his wrist and her eyes are sparkling up at him. They are sparkling almost as much as her solitaire diamond ring. What the actual—
“I have to use the restroom,” I say, not even waiting for a response from Mr. Know-It-All. I’m pretty sure I just interrupted his monologue on the food distribution used for the restaurant that no part of me gives a flying fuck about it. Who knows, he may not even notice I left.
As I approach Ethan’s table, my heart rate quickens. I feel lightheaded, as if I didn’t eat enough. Maybe it is my blood sugar levels. Or maybe it is the fact that I just spent the last hour of my life enduring a horrible date just to earn money because he tossed me out on the street. Maybe it is because his ex-wife is sporting a diamond ring that could easily cover rent for years. Or maybe it is because I feel like every minute I spent with Ethan Maxwell has been an utter waste of time.
He never really wanted to be with me.
He just wanted a fuck puppet to enjoy and control while he waited out his time.
Deena notices me first and gasps at the sight of me before recovering with a curt smile. I might look deranged. But I am committed and can’t back down now.
My emotions flow through me like a hurricane and without much warning to prepare. My pulse quickens. I am walking so fast that my hair tickles my ears, as it brushes against them.
“Ethan, hun, I thought you said you had this situation handled,” Deena says, whispering loud enough for me to hear, even above the restaurant noise.
“You don’t waste time,” I snarl.
“Claire…” Ethan’s tone is in warning.