Page 134 of Taste of Addiction

He leans down and kisses my forehead gently, tucking the sheet under my chin. “Sweetheart, I have some of my men hunting down Tanner in Reno. Been chasing after him since last night.”

“Nevada? No.” I shake my head. “He was just—”

“Dr. Lucian said a major side effect to the drugs you have been taking is hallucinations.”

“I’m not taking drugs. I mean, I did. But not now.”

“When you were brought here, we found several pills in your skirt pockets. Where have you been getting them? They are knock-offs. Highly potent and laced with who knows what.”

What? No. This can’t be happening. I shake my head violently back and forth. “I never had pills. I promise you.” I feel like I am being framed.

He sits his butt on the bed and picks my hands up in his. “We are going to sort this all out. Together. Just as I promised you.”

“He tied me down.”

“Who?”

“Mark.” I am growing irritable, my tone aggressive. “With straps.”

Graham sighs, running his hands through his hair. “Your bed has Velcro restraints. It’s designed that way in case patients get combative. Maybe you saw them and your mind took off with an idea.”

“No!”

“Okay, okay, there’s no point arguing.”

I look over at the trash can and see a bunch of tape hanging over the side. It’s the same tape that I thought Mark used on my mouth. The same tape that was used on my arm to secure my IV. Am I going crazy? Or is everyone else oblivious to what is really happening?

“I want to go home.”

“We’re going to take a little retreat together.”

My eyes narrow. “Where?”

“The house in the woods. I won’t leave you this time.”

I nod. I just want out of this hospital. If agreeing to go with him gets me out of here, then I am all for it. I need to feel safe again. Staying here is not helping matters. I glance at the window again and back to the door that is my only exit from this hellhole. I rub at my temples. What is happening to me?

Graham signs all of the documentation that places me in his care. Dr. Lucian and Dr. Westinger inform us that we can video conference while I am away for the weekend to detox—again. They are on retainer, so I’m sure if I call, they will come running. I slip on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt that were brought for me.

After everything is handled for my release, Graham and Collins escort me into the back of the SUV. I lose track of time as I stare out the window at the winter wonderland. Snow and ice cling to tree branches, making the entire scene look majestic. We make our way through the gate and then up the driveway, stopping in front of the safe house.

“I want to go for a walk to the field,” I request, as soon as my feet hit the ground. “I just want to clear my mind and journal.”

“It’s cold out,” Graham says. He is stressed out. I can tell by the fine lines deepening at the corner of his eyes.

“I’ll wear a coat then,” I bargain, looking at the snow-covered trees. I begin to sob. “I’m suffocating with my thoughts. I feel trapped in a nightmare where I scream but no one hears. Please. I just need—”

He nods and then helps me into his coat. He then grabs a blanket from the trunk. We walk around the house and up through the patch of trees until we find the clearing. We don’t talk. I think Graham is afraid to break me. He is treating me like a delicate flower, ready to wilt with any sign of tension.

I don’t have my journal with me, so I use my phone to email myself my thoughts. I sit down on the blanket and let Graham hover from the sidelines while I lay back, typing out all my emotions.

I am so alone.

No one believes me.

And I could have died.

I lie in silence and listen to my own breathing. A few flurries fall from the sky, and I try to catch some on my tongue. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was last in this open space in the field, still as lost as I am now. When a shadow moves over me, I turn on my side to see Graham. He crouches down and helps me sit up.

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