Page 147 of Rush of Jealousy

I cannot allow any man to inhibit me from the things that I want to do in the world. While there was a time I didn’t have much to live for, I am starting to have a different outlook, and it is a positive one.

“Let me see the three versions your team has been working on,” Graham says to a male worker who quickly retrieves three drawing pads that each feature a different style.

I look at the earring designs and try to imagine the finished product. All look simply stated, but beautiful. One pair are drop downs, another studs, and another set appear to be dangly loops with diamonds attached to the ends.

“Wow,” I say, trying to envision what the pairs would look like in 3D. “These all look incredible.”

Several male team members look from me to Graham and then smile at my praise. I guess they think that having an “in” with the boss is beneficial to them if I approve. As if my positive opinion will equate to a hefty paycheck bonus.

“Thank you,” Graham says with pride but shifts in his seat. “Now, tell me where there may be faults in the designs.”

I swallow. What? I have no experience in this. I don’t even wear earrings. Well, I do now, but I just started a day ago.

“Just try,” he whispers into my ear. “It’s just an opinion or another perspective. You’re a designer from all the sewing items you have moved into our place. So, I would love to hear some thoughts about these pieces that we may have overlooked.”

I nod and climb up onto one of the tall backless stools, leaning over the drafts. I look at the sketches some more and look up at the team lead for this particular group. “Do you have a 3D model of what the designs would look like?”

“We have a computer simulation of all the pieces,” the lead states concisely and confidently.

I nod and then furrow my brow. “Maybe something out of plastic?”

“We never really do a 3D model for earrings. Sometimes for bigger pieces, yes. What’s your logic?”

I can feel Graham tense at my side over his worker’s curt question. Maybe he didn’t mean for it to come across as aggressively as it does. I gently squeeze Graham’s hand that is resting on his knee to keep him from steamrolling the situation.

I was asked to give my opinion, and while I was reluctant at first, I am now trying to prove myself to a stranger who cannot stop staring at me. I may not know anything about jewelry, but Graham is right, I do have a love for design. When I would make more complex clothing items, sometimes I would replicate the style using very cheap fabric, just to get an idea for the final product. That is all I am trying to get across to the team lead. Why he cannot be receptive to my ideas is beyond me. Is it because I am female? Or is it because he thinks I am the boss’s fucktoy? I am not really sure which thought pattern is worse.

I clear my throat, fix my hair behind my shoulder, and straighten my posture. “If there is access to a 3D printer, then it will be easy and cost pennies for your team to cut them out and print to real-life size.” I have no experience with the technology behind all of this. However, when I broke a uniquely shaped button off of my favorite shirt, I had Zander print me a new one while at work to match the rest. It was so helpful to be able to replicate sizes for something very specific. “Perhaps, being able to feel the earrings in actual hands prior to production would help in determining if they are too cumbersome. It would be easier to see if the design needs to be altered in length or size because you would have a solid representation of the product. This is what I would do before I made an actual prototype and wasted valuable resources for something that might need multiple alterations.”

He nods his head and glances at Graham, who appears to be deep in thought.

“Can this be done?” Graham asks the team.

“Of course,” the team lead says confidently, but I see through his overzealous positivity. I don’t think he thinks fondly of my idea. “This would definitely help with managing other design flaws as well.”

“Do that then,” Graham instructs. A few men jump up from the table and disappear down into the elevator with laptops in hand.

After several long minutes, the team lead seems to have moved from being embarrassed to being introspective. I continue asking several questions about the type of metal used and the different post backings for how the earrings will stay in the ears. As expected, Graham’s jewelry line consists of the best precious metals—mainly platinum and gold—that he imports primarily from Canada and South Africa where they are mined.

When the 3D models arrive back, I hold them in my hand and examine them. I am reluctant about saying anything negative in front of this table of men. Who am I to even be qualified to do this?

Graham whispers so only I can hear, “I would love to hear your thoughts, sweetheart. You obviously have some.”

I smile up at him. “I love these drop down earrings. I just worry that the heaviness of the diamonds would pull out the ear and cause some unbalance. Maybe the backing could be altered to compensate for the weight distribution?”

“But we—”

“Keep going, Angela,” Graham interrupts the team lead, giving him a stern look of disapproval.

I swallow hard. I hate being in the middle of something that is bigger than just sharing my opinion. “The studs seem nice but with the shape not being uniform, I would imagine a bunch of women constantly looking in the mirror to make sure they arein placeand not turned opposite ways. I guess you could switch out the round stones from the drop down pairs for the pear cut stones for the studs. Then it would look more like tear drops dangling instead. I think that would be more elegant.”

“I hope someone is taking written notes,” Graham stresses, eyeing each of his workers with an unspoken directive. He runs a hand down my spine, making me shiver. “Go on.”

“The dangle pair just needs to be short enough not to touch the shoulder. I think too long would snag clothing. Or tickle the shoulders if strappy clothing is worn.”

Graham looks at me with an expression I cannot decipher. Is he mad or pissed off or—

“You guys get all of that? And will you now hire some females for your team to add a different layer of perspective for the gender who will mostly be buying and wearing your creations?”

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