Page 182 of Felonies are Forever

“Dahmmmmm gurl…” Her jaw falls open as she looks me up and down. “Your brother know about this?”

I shake my head. The intensity of my brother-slash-stand-in-father’s protectiveness is, and has been for a while, a source of many conversations with my friend. I know he loves me with everything he has, but at twenty years old I’ve been on two supervised dates—both before I met Jack—and never been kissed outside of some playground nonsense in fourth grade. He would prefer I dress in head-to-toe gray canvas six sizes too big, and overall thinks every XY heterosexual human is somehow going to hurt me.

My insides are trembling as well as my outsides. I’m pretty sure Carter is going to have a heart attack when he sees my suit.

But I know why I bought it. I knew it was beyond-belief skimpy, but I wanted to see if Jack would have any reaction. I know he just sees me as his daughter’s friend and his best friend’s sister. But to me, he’s the man of my fantasies. He’s the reason for my locked bedroom door and many nights filled with masturbatory activities.

He’s rugged with dark-chocolate brown hair, unruly as it curls behind his ears and down his neck. His face is mature and sexy beyond measure. He’s not slick, not symmetrical, not made to fit into the it crowd. He’s part neanderthal with a nose crooked from a life that came before Cherry Falls. His thick brow hangs over deep-set eyes the color of a tropical lagoon, rimmed in black and they look so deep into my soul, I can’t believe he doesn’t already know all of my secrets and fantasies.

I also know I’m pushing the envelope farther with my idea of playing cross-family chicken in the pool. In the next few minutes, I’m going to have my coochie pressed against the back of the neck of my best friend’s father.

The dreams I have about him…gahhhhh. They are everything perverted and wonderful. I could never tell Arianna. Certainly not Carter.

But Jack? Ten thousand times a day I think about him. Ten thousand times a day I imagine every aspect of what our life could be together. A life I know is impossible.

But, fortune favors the bold. I’m not sure I’ll be able to not turn into a jiggling, moaning, gyrating sex doll riding his shoulders, lost in orgasm after orgasm as I pull his hair and scream the name I call him in all my fantasies...

Daddy.

Oh God. This isn’t going to end well.

“Okay then.” Arianna shrugs, tugging at the elastic of her own not too modest red and pink polka-dot swimsuit as it rides up her rear end. “Come on, let’s have some fun. We don’t have much time together before Carter and I leave….”

“I know. I wanted to come sooner, I told Carter you would come pick me up but he always has to be in control. It’s like I’m thirteen, not twenty.”

“I know, I’m sorry. My dad isn’t much better.”

I roll my eyes on a snarl. “Really? Who is getting to go to Seattle for the summer?”

“I’m teaching.” She shakes her head. “At a STEM children’s camp.”

“Still.” I heave out a long breath. “Carter would never let me do something like that. I mean, I know I could. I’m not legally bound to obey his rules anymore, but I feel like I am. I wish he would just give me a little more rope…”

Arianna chuckles. “Yeah, to hang yourself. Isn’t that the saying?”

“I suppose it is.” My belly flutters, knowing tomorrow night both she and my brother will be gone, leaving me here alone withJack. “I don’t know if Carter understands his oppression leaves me really lonely. And…I think he has a girlfriend.”

“What?” Arianna’s eyes widen then her brows draw together. “What makes you think that?”

I shrug a shoulder to my ear. “He’s been ‘out’ more than ever before. Just says he has a meeting or is going to the store. He hates going to the store, I have to practically force him to grocery shop with me once a week. But, that’s not everything…”

“What else?”

“Well, he either has a girlfriend…or a boyfriend. I saw him packing some lacy frilly stuff in his suitcase for this trip. I don’t think lingerie is part of the training. I don’t care either way, but you think maybe…he’s, like, cross-dressing? Or his gender identity isn’t…you know, as he shows?”

Arianna’s cheeks turn bright red. “I don’t think so…” She bites into her upper lip then gives me a tight smile. “He needs a personal life too, right? Whichever direction it goes?”

I nod pinching the bridge of my nose for a second.

“Speaking of hanging yourself…” She raises an eyebrow, lightening the moment. “How’s your TikTok doing? And your Insta? You’ve got a shit ton of followers.”

“Yeah.” A tense pride swells inside me. “It’s taken on a life of its own.”

“Who knew? But, I bet it’s saved some girls from a few bad situations. Some of the comments seem to say as much.”

I nod, wrapping my arms around my middle. “Ballet and martial arts combined for the modern young woman.”

In my boredom, I started a TikTok and Insta under the name TutuDanceFighter. I dress in my leotards, all decked out, hair pulled back, doing my most graceful pirouettes. Then, bam, I cut to me in my gi, punching or kicking a bag or a dummy in our home gym, showing the way the moves were similar. I got more confident, started adding in some banter and fun back and forthdialogue, and before I knew it, I had a hundred followers. Then a thousand, then ten thousand…

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