Page 33 of All for her Forgiveness

"The rule is as follows: if there's anything involving drugs or promiscuity, she's out."

"Are you saying there can't be promiscuity because you're jealous of me?" she asks quietly, and I think it's so her grandmother won't hear.

"No, Pam. I'm not jealous of you. In fact, I think you should start dating. I'm sure there must be good candidates around."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"If he's a good guy and you like him, you'll have my blessing. Now, I have to go."

Kennedy

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Present

"I love you, son,"I say, stroking his little head. "Now I'm not as afraid anymore because you're going to be fine."

Your father might hate me,I think to myself,but now that I've started to remember Hades Kostanidis, I'm sure he's an honorable man and will take care of you if I'm not around.

Memories are coming back like a sort of timeline. However, the first thing I searched for in my mind—what happened on the night Pam died—is still a big question mark. Yet, I hope that in due time, everything will become clear and I can finally defend myself.

With my son in my arms, protected and fed, I close my eyes as I go back in time and remember the day I met the man who I'm now certain is his father.

Past

NEW ORLEANS

Standing in front of the closed door for about two minutes, I pray not to mess things up.

The tray trembles in my hands, and I feel sweat gathering at the base of my neck because I'm extremely nervous.

Mr. Ernest said he could talk to the general manager to get me a day off because of Aunt Riny's death, but I didn't want to take advantage of the privilege of my position as a cleaner, and I wouldn't miss my first day as a waitress. Now, more than ever, I can't afford to lose my job, and God knows this extra one came in handy.

Early this morning, Pam called me to let me know she and Grandma were coming to New Orleans for the funeral, which will be tomorrow.

I've never even seen a photograph of Pam, but if I weren't sure she's only about a year younger than me, I wouldn't believe it. Listening to her conversation, she sounds like she’s around fifteen. Or maybe it's the fact that, about to turn nineteen, I already feel like an old woman.

Pam told me she has some news to share with me and that it will be a good surprise for me. I have no idea what she's talking about, but what do I have to lose in hearing her out?

"Still not inside?" Mr. Ernest says from behind me, and the tray I'm holding wobbles, the whiskey bottle swaying dangerously on top of it. I've been instructed to serve drinks to some businessmen in a meeting. I was told they're casino owners and one more guest behind closed doors.

"How did you know I was still here?" I ask, turning around.

"Because I know you."

"I'm afraid of spilling a drink on a businessman," I confess.

"It's not just that. You're uncomfortable with the clothes they gave you."

My face heats up, but I don't respond. I don't like admitting my weaknesses, even though, yes, I feel almost naked in the short black strapless dress that barely covers my behind and fishnet stockings. The black heels they gave me are so high that if I don't end the night with a broken bone, it'll be a miracle.

"This outfit is the same as the other waitresses'," I say, as if it's not a big deal, and when I see concern and maybe some guilt on his face, I decide to joke to lighten the mood because I don't want to be ungrateful. "I would just remove these bunny-ear hairbands. They're a bit much."

To my delight, he laughs. "You're an amazing girl, Kennedy. Never let anyone make you doubt that."

"I'm ordinary."

"No, you're not. After everything you've been through at Riny's hands, being so centered is above average. Most people who lived a childhood and adolescence like yours would be broken."

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