Page 5 of Worth the Chase

And honestly, I couldn’t allow him to have the one thing I hadn’t given to any other guy yet. I’d never be able to get over him if he was my first.

Yes, I’m a virgin. A twenty-two-year-old bartending virgin.

Cue the eye rolling. I completely get it.

I realized how impossible this must seem to an outsider, but trust me, I hadn’t intended for things to turn out this way. It’d all started so innocently. I planned on saving myself for someone special, figuring that person would come along at some point during high school. And while I made out with plenty of guys during that time, none of them ever turned into anything serious. So, before I knew it, I was graduating with never having had arealboyfriend and my hymen still firmly intact.

Which had been fine at first.

Until it wasn’t.

I went through phases of wanting to throw my virginity at the next guy who even batted his eyes at me or keeping it locked in a box like it was some kind of magical gift that I could bestow on someone worthy.

When a couple of local guys overheard me talking to my best friend, Anna, about still holding my V-card, they started placing bets on who would be the one todeflowerme in an apparent group chat. Yes, they actually used that term. And double yes, there was actual money involved.

It was humiliating.

And I deserved better than being a damn bet.

That was when I’d decided that no one would get my virginity—or at least when they did, they wouldn’t know it. And in the meantime, I blamed Matthew for it all. Him and that stupid kissing rule, which I’d repeated to myself so many times over the years that it was probably tattooed on my brain somewhere.

He’d destroyed me with that kiss.

And now, he was trying to destroy my life by constantly being in it.

Things had been much better when he was too famous and busy to come home. At least, that way, he wasn’t showing upat my shifts and trying to tempt me with his delicious face and athletic body.

“Bells.”

Matthew was the only person who called me that. I didn’t even know how it’d started or when, but I secretly loved that it was something only he did. Sucking in a long breath, I steadied myself and turned around.

“What do you want?” I flattened my expression and hoped I looked bored.

“I think you know the answer to that by now.”

“I can’t give you that.”

“Why not?”

He adjusted the tie around his neck, loosening it, and I swore the disheveled look was even sexier.

Being snippy with him was exhausting. It felt like playing mental gymnastics whenever he was around. But it was the only self-defense mechanism in my arsenal. The only one that seemed to be working…so far.

“Because you’re drunk.” I shrugged. “You’re always drunk. And you only say these things when you’ve been drinking.”

That was probably the weakest comeback I’d given him yet, and I knew he wasn’t going to take it. His brows furrowed, those blue eyes darkening as they took me in and held me hostage.

“You need me to tell you I want you when I’m one hundred percent sober? Done, Bells. I can do that. The alcohol just gives me the courage to say it out loud.” He grinned, and instead of finding it charming, I found it annoying.

“That’s not true,” I bit out with a little more ire than I’d intended. “I’m not sure why you’re drinking the way you are, Matthew, but it has nothing to do with needing any liquid courage for any damn thing, and we both know it.”

I wanted him to know that I saw the battle raging inside of him. And I wasn’t going to pretend that I didn’t. Watching himdrown his demons every night was a little painful to observe. I could lie to myself about not wanting him anymore, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I was still concerned for his well-being. Caring about Matthew was the one switch I refused to turn off.

He opened his mouth to say something in response, but clamped it shut instead. I turned around and started washing out more glasses, happy that I’d won our verbal battle… at least for the moment. But then he spoke and shot an arrow straight at my stupid, betraying heart.

“I’ve dreamed about being with you, Bells. Can’t stop thinking about it since I’ve been back.”

My body stiffened instantly. A part of me wanted to believe what he’d just said, but I wouldn’t allow it.Couldn’tallow it.

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