Page 95 of Doctor Hot Mess

10:11 AM

I pace my living room.My nerves are fraying with each step. My laptop sits on the coffee table, open to the email from Nurse Trek Staffing Agency. The cursor blinks like a taunt, as though daring me to make a decision.

Today isn’t the day I have to decide. Friday is. But as I sit on the couch, replaying last night in my head, the knot in my chest tightens. Jonah wasn’t open to talking, and the fact that he shut down and left instead of engaging with me says everything I need to know.

I wanted to stay—I really did. I was even considering looking for another assignment closer to Birmingham to see where this thing between us could go. But last night? Last night made it clear that Jonah isn’t ready for that kind of partnership. Not if a tough conversation makes him bolt.

I can’t reward that kind of behavior. If I give in to it now, I’ll always feel like I have to tiptoe around him, avoiding decisions that might upset him. That’s not a foundation I want to build anything on.

Mason was right. There’s never a perfect time, and this situation? It’s a clear sign that I need to do what’s best for me.

I grab my laptop, pulling it onto my lap. The email from Gina is still open, the cursor blinking at the bottom of her message. My heart races as I click “Reply,” but for the first time in days, my mind feels clear.

Subject:Re: Hawaii Travel Assignment Offer

Hi Gina,

Thank you so much for this opportunity. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided to accept the Hawaii assignment. Please let me know what steps I need to take from here to make the transition as smooth as possible.

I’m grateful for your help and excited to take on this role.

Best regards, Harper Gray

I hit "Send"before I can second-guess myself, my hands trembling slightly as I close the laptop.

It’s done.

And while my heart aches at the thought of leaving Jonah behind, I refuse to let fear—or someone else’s walls—dictate my life. I’m choosing myself.

I grab my keys and decide to head out for a walk. Sitting here in silence isn’t going to help. The fresh air outside hits me like a reset button as I walk down the block, aimlessly at first, until I find myself at the small park Jonah and I visited just a few weeks ago.

I spot the bench we stopped at last week. I remember him standing there, his hands on the back of it, with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I can almost feel his chest against me as I leaned into him.

He was carrying so much that night, but I remember telling him I would be there no matter what, however he needed me. It felt like a breakthrough. And then, back at my place….

I guess the hard reality is, he wasn't there for me however I needed him. We weren't a team. We aren't a team.

I sit down, dragging my hands over my thighs before leaning back and tilting my head to the sky. The sun cuts through the branches above, dappling the ground in uneven patches of light, but it’s not warm enough to chase the chill crawling up my arms.

I breathe out slowly, staring up at nothing. The air smells faintly like damp earth and the remnants of last night’s rain, and for a second, I almost wish it would pour again. At least then, it wouldn’t feel so damn still.

It’s not like I didn’t see it coming. I knew talking to him about Hawaii was going to be hard. I just didn’t expect it to feel like this, like the ground shifting under me and leaving me hanging on by a thread.

I sit forward, elbows on my knees, and rub my palms over my face.

This is what I wanted, right? Clarity? Well, I've got my clarity. Jonah and I were never going to work. We were doomed from the start. That is crystal clear now. I'm going to my dream job, and he is staying here, being Jonah. You can't change a zebra just by removing its stripes.

I bite my lip and try to keep the prick of tears from spilling over. God, I hate this. I hate how much it hurts, how much I want to talk to him, to hear his voice. But that won't happen again.

Just as I feared a casual hook-up would ruin our friendship, it turns out that so does a real dive into something more. I was näive to ever think otherwise. It was a fun run, but now everything has changed.

The breeze kicks up, brushing a strand of hair across my face, and I tuck it behind my ear with a shaky hand.

I pull out my phone and text Mason.

Took the job.

His reply is instant.

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