And now, here I am, pulling reps in a gym and replaying every damn detail of a dream that felt too real. Too good. Too much.
A dream I wish were reality.
So why now? Why her? Why this all-consuming need to get closer, to touch her, to?—
“Stop,” I mutter under my breath, rubbing the towel across the back of my neck. I’m a grown man, not some hormone-driven teenager. I can’t let one damn dream derail me.
But it’s not just the dream, is it? It’s the way she looked at me on the balcony last night, the way her voice softened when she said we shouldn’t. It’s the way I can still feel the ghost of her touch, even though it was all in my head.
And the worst part? She’s right. Casual isn’t an option here. It never was. Harper isn’t like the women I’ve been with before—she’s... more. More everything. And that scares the hell out of me.
I move to the pull-up bar, gripping it tightly and pulling myself up in one fluid motion. The strain in my arms is grounding, the repetition soothing. Up, down. Up, down. Focus on the movement, not the ache in my chest.
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake the thought that I’ve already screwed this up. Again.
I drop from the bar, and my feet hit the mat with a thud. My breathing is heavy, and my muscles burn, but none of it compares to the noise in my head.
I grab my towel and water bottle, slinging them over my shoulder as I head for the locker room. The shower won’t fix this, but maybe the scalding water will drown out the memory of her laugh, her touch, her everything.
I need something, or else I'm worried I might go insane.
Jonah’s Condo
6:52 AM
When I walkinto the condo, the smell of coffee hits me first, followed by the sight of Lila perched at the kitchen counter. She’s in sweats and a hoodie with her hair loosely tied back.
There’s a faint shadow under her eyes, and she’s still moving gingerly, but she looks more like herself than she has in days. Her chipped mug rests in her hands, steam curling upward.
“You’re up early,” I say, setting my gym bag by the door. "I hope I didn't disturb you when I left at the crack of dawn. I couldn't sleep, so I figured I might as well be productive."
She smirks. “Didn't hear a thing. I guess I was still locked into my pain meds fog. I figured you’d be out longer, running another half-marathon or saving puppies out of trees.”
I roll my eyes and head to the fridge for water. “Very funny.”
Her smirk softens into something more curious as she studies me. “You okay? You look... off. Where is my jovial brother that always brings the light?”
“I’m fine,” I mutter, unscrewing the cap and taking a long swig of water. "Just a lot on my mind."
“Right.” She arches a brow. “Because ‘fine Jonah’ usually doesn’t have storm clouds following him home. What happened to your 'Sunday Funday' mantra you’re so known for?”
I toss the empty bottle into the recycling bin, avoiding her gaze. “I'm going to go lie down,” I say because I don't feel like being dissected right now. I'm happy to help my sister, but right now is one of those times I want my house to myself.
“Bullshit,” she says, leaning forward. “You’re never tired. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I wave her off and grab another bottle of water. “Should you even be out of bed? Don’t you need to rest?”
“I’m fine,” she says, parroting my earlier tone with a grin. “Don’t change the subject.”
I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. Lila might be reckless, but she’s also sharp as hell. Brushing her off isn’t going to work. Plus, she might know me better than anyone. Hell, maybe even better than I know myself.
“It’s... complicated,” I finally admit, sitting across from her at the counter. “I don’t even know how to explain it.”
“Try me,” she says, cradling her mug. “I’m a captive audience.”
I hesitate, but then the balcony scene from last night floods back. Her lips on mine. The way she pulled back, her words cutting through the haze of want. I exhale sharply. “I kissed Harper last night.”
Lila blinks, then sets her mug down. “Okay... and?”