Page 24 of Healed Hearts

There’s an attached image of what looks like stuffed peppers. They do look pretty yum. Or, I guess they probably would if I wasn’t so fucking nauseous.

I text him back, though. Even with my shaky fingers. Even with my fucked up head.

Me

Those do look yum.

I close my eyes, willing my body to calm the fuck down, when my phone goes off again.

Holden

They’re my favorite. How is Wren feeling?

Panic spikes. Hot and sharp and uncomfortable in my chest. I toss the phone to the side and focus once again on breathing. In and out, Julian. You can do this. You’ve been breathing for twenty-seven fucking years. It’s not that hard. Just breathe.

I close my eyes and breathe. Breathe and breathe until my lungs finally stop burning, until the fake calm washes over me.

Thank God.

I don’t respond to Holden. I stay right where I am. Breathing. Maybe tomorrow I can text him back.

When I wake up the next morning, I’m groggy. And slightly frustrated with myself. I left Holden on read. I caved and took a fucking Xanax, and now I just feel like shit.

I roll to my side and grab my phone. There’s another message from Holden.

Holden

I hope everything’s okay. Please let me know if you need anything.

This time, I don’t leave him hanging.

Me

I’m not sure if she’s feeling better, actually. She seems to be getting worse. How long is this supposed to take for her to get better?

Holden

Sometimes it can take a while for things to catch up. If she doesn’t improve in the next two weeks or if she seems to decline rapidly, you should take her in.

Well, that’s actually not reassuring at all.

Me

I will. Thank you.

I set my phone down and climb out of bed. My limbs feel weighed down and heavy.Ifeel weighed down and heavy, but that’s probably to be expected, considering all the fucking stress I’m under.

I force myself to throw on some sweats and make my way to the kitchen. If I can get Wren to eat at all, it’ll be a miracle, but even if I can’t, it’s still my job to make breakfast. I stare into the fridge, at the eggs, the bacon, the sausage, and a can of biscuits. None of it sounds like anything I want to cook at all. I close the door and head to the cabinets. I think we have cereal, and if wedo, that’ll work. It’ll have to. I don’t know why, but I really just don’t have the energy for anything else.

I close the cabinet after confirming we do have cereal, and go to Wren’s room to wake her up. She’s deep in sleep, but after some prodding, she finally opens her eyes. She smiles at me, but doesn’t talk. It’s like she’s too tired to talk lately. She’s always been shy. Kind of quiet. She’s even quieter now. It’s scaring me. But fuck, whatdoesn’tscare me?

“Come on, baby girl. Do you wanna come eat cereal with Daddy and watch some cartoons?”

She nods slowly, her eyes heavy-lidded. “SpongeBob?”

Oh, fuck yeah. Anything but Frozen is a win for me. “Yeah, baby girl. SpongeBob is perfect. Come on. Go potty, and we’ll go to the living room.”

She gets up, moving more slowly than normal, but still, she makes her way to the bathroom and within a few minutes, the toilet flushes.

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