Page 92 of Healed Hearts

“Okay, what other things?”

His cheeks flush, then he licks his lips. For some reason, it sends a wave of heat through my body. “Well, I can use my fingers. Or you can sit on my face. Both, actually. I’d prefer both.”

My jaw drops open. “Thoseare your requirements?” I assumed it was going to be like a therapy session or a heart-to-heart with Roman.

“Yeah, if we’re going to explore your body in a way that could be triggering to you, I want to do it in a way that allows us to move slowly. It’s important to me. So those are my boundaries. I want you to think about it for a week. And I won’t go straight into it. We need to build up to it.”

“What the hell, though? Because we jumped straight into it with you.”

He gives me what I can only describe as a Disapproving Dad look. “Holden. I know damn well you are not trying to compare my very standard relationship with sex to the things you’ve gone through.”

Well, okay, when he says it like that, it makes sense. “Okay. Fair.”

He shakes his head, his lips turning up in a soft smile. “You’re a hot mess, Hold. You know that?”

I sigh. Yeah, I really am. I’m just glad he stuck it out with me. “I really am sorry for the things I said.”

He smiles. “I know. Stop apologizing. It’s offensive.”

“Offensive? How so?”

“Because I’ve already forgiven you and I can’t stand to watch the man I love beat himself up.”

“I’m not doing it on purpose. My head can be a real dick.”

Julian reaches up to cup my face, his touch tender. Fuck, I am so lucky. “I know, darlin’. It’s okay, though.”

I’m not sure that it is, and I feel like shit for lashing out at him. As I should because he doesn’t deserve that. He’s never been anything but respectful, always honoring my boundaries… speaking of. “Sitting on your face, though? That’s…”

He hums. “That’s hot, is what that is. But only if you want to. You know I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I know.” I let my mind wander a bit, trying to picture it. I’ve never had it done to me before. I mean, sure. I know it’s a thing that people do and enjoy. But it’s definitely not something I ever thought I’d try. I close my eyes, leaning my face into Julian’s touch as I think about straddling his head, his arms gripping my thighs, holding me against him while his tongue…

Julian chuckles, dragging me back to reality. I narrow my eyes at him. “What’s so funny?”

“You are. Must be some good thoughts you’re having.”

I mean, yeah, they really fucking are. I have to get us back on track, though. “Yeah, okay. I’m definitely good with your plan.”

Leaning in, Julian brushes a soft kiss to my lips. “Plans can change, yes? You can say yes now and say no later. You can say no halfway through. You know that, right?” I nod, eyes wide. I’ve never met anyone quite like him before. “Good. This only works if you’re honest with me about your limits and your comfort levels.”

“I’ll be honest about how I’m feeling. I promise.”

“Good.” He nuzzles my jaw, dropping kisses to my skin. His lips are warm and so soft, and it’s making my stomach flip.

“Can we do the face sitting thing first?” I blurt out, my cheeks heating at my inability to keep my thoughts inside.

Julian chuckles, his warm breath fanning across my jaw and neck. “We can do whatever you want. But not tonight. I want youto make sure you’re really sure. It’s late, and Wren will wake up at the butt crack of dawn.”

I sigh. “Okay. Do I have to wait a week for that?”

“Hmm, I think we can try other stuff in the meantime, while you’re thinking about if you’re sure. Honestly, it wouldn’t hurt to because then you’ll have a better idea of what to expect.”

His words have me squirming in his lap. Honestly, I’m a little turned on. I’m kind of… excited. But, also a little anxious. “And if I don’t like it?”

“Then we stop.” Julian’s answer is quick and decisive, with no hesitation at all, and it eases a lot of my anxiety, leaving mostly excitement. “Let’s get into bed, darlin’.”

I nod, climbing off Julian’s lap. I strip down, grabbing the shirt Julian slept in last night, and pull it over my head. The soft fabric feels like perfection and when Julian’s scent surrounds me, I can’t help but smile. I fucking love this, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.

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