Page 89 of Healed Hearts

He nods, but it’s not convincing in the slightest. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

I sigh. “I won’t push, but I hope you’ll tell me the truth, eventually.”

His eyes light up with indignation, which I’ll definitely take over this… emptiness he’s had for the last couple of hours. But it disappears as quickly as it came and his shoulders slump. “Yeah, later. Okay? When everyone’s in bed.”

“Okay.” I pull him into my arms and relief rushes through me when he doesn’t resist, and instead he melts right into my body. Part of me was worried that maybe I’d done something wrong, and he was upset with me, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. “I love you.”

He hums, rubbing his face against my chest. “I love you too.”

When everyone comes back into the living room, he pulls back. Wren has a plate piled high with everything from gummy worms to carrots and ranch. I can’t help but chuckle. She’s adorable, and definitely living her best life. Truthfully, so am I. It’s kind of incredible how quickly my life changed.

Maybe I drowned in those green eyes after all.

Beck gets Wren situated on the couch while Holden gets the TV queued up, and it’s not long before Wren’s eyes are glued to the movie. She clears her entire plate too. Although, Holdendidkeep stealing candy from it. Probably trying to keep her sugar intake down—can’t turn off the nurse brain at all. Holdand Roman are singing along to the songs. Beck is laughing and smiling at Roman in a way that shows how much he loves him. Wren is bouncing around in her seat, most definitely hyped up on sugar. And I’m soaking it all in with a smile that I couldn’t wipe from my face if I tried.

Holden leans into my side, tucking his feet up under my thigh with a sigh. He glances up at me, staring into my eyes like I’m the best thing he’s ever seen, and I can’t resist dropping a kiss to his full lips.

When Wren falls asleep against my other side, Holden grins at her. It’s soft, loving, and it almost takes my breath away. He’s so fucking amazing.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Holden

My mind is racing. I’m freaking out. I think I’m more nervous now than I was when I kissed Julian for the first time. I’m so fucking nervous that I haven’t been able to keep up the facade. Roman and Julian both are seeing right through me. I’m not used to that. It makes me feel… exposed. I’m not a fan.

Julian pulls his arm from around my back. “Let me get her into bed.”

I nod, scared that if I open my mouth, my thoughts are going to come flying out. The second Julian stands and his warmth isgone from my side, a rush of anxious energy washes over me. My fingers start tapping against my thigh and my throat goes dry.

Ro reaches over, patting me on the leg. I lock eyes with him and he quirks a brow at me. I nod at him, trying to let him know without words that I’m okay, before turning my attention to Julian as he carefully tucks Wren into her sleeping bag inside the tent.

Roman sits back, turning to Beck with a fake yawn. “I’m tired, baby. You ready for bed?”

Beck pulls his attention from the TV. Who knew he would be into Disney movies? “Yeah, sure thing, beautiful.” He stands, pulling Ro up with him. “We’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Julian settles back beside me on the couch. “Night, guys. Thanks for everything.”

Ro gives him a salute and Beck tells him no worries, and then they’re taking off down the hallway.

The second they’re out of sight, Julian is gently gripping my chin and tilting my face to his. “What’s wrong?” The anxiety is clear in his expression, and it makes my heart plummet. I didn’t mean to worry him.

“Not here. Not in front of Wren.”

He glances toward the tent. “She’s asleep.”

“I know. But… please?”

He sighs. “Okay. Let’s go then, Hold. You’re kinda freaking me the fuck out a little.”

Fuck. I don’t want to freak him out. This isn’t anything bad. Or at least, I don’t think so. I mean, it’s makingmefreak the hell out, sure. But it shouldn’t be affecting him that way. I wish I could hide from him better—in moments like this, anyway.

He stands, pulling me up with him. Oh fuck. We’re going to the bedroom. It’s the moment of truth. My stomach is a fucking mess and my head is even worse.

The second we step into the bedroom, I’m pacing. With all the distractions of the night, I’ve managed to keep myself in check, mostly. But now? Now, I’m losing it.

“Hold, are yo—”

“I want you to top me,” I blurt out, interrupting Julian’s sentence. He freezes in place, hands halfway to me in the air like he was reaching for me before I started talking, but says nothing. Oh my God. Why isn’t he talking?It’s good, Hold. All good. Stay calm.“You did the thing with your thumb, right? And you washed Motel Guy’s touch away. Wiped it right off. And I thought, well, what if you could do that in other ways?”

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