Page 78 of Healed Hearts

Julian’s eyes widen. “Jesus, darlin’. Is that what you think? No. You most certainly are not.”

“I am, though. That guy, Motel Guy—”

He cuts me off. “Motel Guy is a fucking child predator, and you are a survivor. Not gross. Not dirty. Not any of the things I’m sure are running through that beautiful mind of yours. You’re perfection.”

His words make my heart sing. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do. You’re everything, darlin’.”

“I thought you were going to leave me.” My voice comes out in a cracked whisper.

“No. Of course not,” he says, dropping a kiss to my forehead. “How’s your lip?”

“Better, I think,” I whisper, thinking about the way he held his thumb there, replacing the bad touch with something good.

He nods. “Do you wanna go brush your teeth, and we can come lay back down?”

“Yeah, can I shower? I want to… I need to—” My breathing ticks up until I’m almost gasping for air.

“Shh. Yeah, darlin’. You can shower,” Julian says softly, his voice low and soothing.

“You too?” I ask. I don’t want him to leave me alone. I want him to stay with me.

He eyes me warily, indecision warring in his warm gaze. “If you’re sure.”

I nod. “Carry me?” I whisper.

“I thought you didn’t like me packing you around?” he teases. I like that he’s doing that. Teasing me. It makes me feel safer. Like he means what he says about not being grossed out by me. I don’t think I’m quite ready to laugh about the trauma this particular time, but I do really appreciate that he’s trying to keep things light for me.

“I lied. I really like you packing me around.”

He gives me a grin. “I know, darlin’. Let’s go.”

He waits patiently, holding his arms open for me, so I stand, stepping into his embrace. He slips his hands under my ass and lifts me into his arms. I lean against his body, wrapping my arms around his neck, and bury my face in his throat.

He carries me into the bathroom, sits me down on the countertop, and gets my toothbrush ready for me. “It’s strange seeing you use Dad Mode on me,” I say.

He smiles, but it’s a little sad. I don’t want to make him sad. “This isn’t Dad Mode, Hold. This is I’m In Love With You Mode.”

I hum, taking the toothbrush from him. I brush my teeth in silence as he gets the shower ready. By the time I’m done brushing, he’s standing in front of me. “Wanna get undressed?” he asks, studying my face.

I glance down at my clothes. “Can we throw them away?” I whisper. I never want to wear them again. I never want them to touch my body.

“Whatever you want.”

Julian helps me down and steps back while I strip down. He holds his hands out, and I place my clothes in them as I take them off. When I’m fully naked, he tosses the clothes into the trashcan by the toilet. “Are you sure you’re okay with me getting in with you?”

I’m standing in front of the man, completely naked while he’s fully dressed, and I have not a single drop of fear that he will hurt me. Plus, the thought of doing this alone fills me with terror. I’m scared if he leaves, the monsters will get me. “Yes. I trust you.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Julian

Iget undressed quickly, careful to keep my body from touching Holden as I step into the shower behind him. I have no idea what the fuck happened. Okay, so I do, but not really. Motel Guy clearly abused Hold when he was younger. I was trying to get the story from Roman when Beck started yelling for me. My darlin’ needed me, and I decided the history could wait. The present needed my focus.

Holden turns, plastering himself to my body under the spray of water. I tilt my hips away from him. My dick is behaving atthe moment, probably in as much shock as I am, but no way am I gonna freak Holden out with a wayward hard-on.

I doubt that’s going to be a concern, since he’s shaking like a leaf in my arms, but just in case. “Let me take care of you, yeah?”

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