Page 68 of Healed Hearts

“I promise. You won’t hurt me, though.”

He doesn’t look convinced. “How are you so confident about that?”

I sit down beside him and pull him into my lap. He buries his face against my shoulder and lets out a heavy breath.

“I’m sure about that because I know you. You don’t have it in you to hurt someone like that. I trust you, Holden.”

“Okay,” he whispers.

He lifts his head, green eyes peering into mine like I hold all the answers in the world. I don’t, but I know that he won’t hurt me. It’s not even a question for me. He needs to trust himself, though. I dip my head to kiss him and before our lips even connect, his hands are gripping my shirt.

Jesus, I love that.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Holden

I’m nervous. Of course I am, but I’m also curious—and if my throbbing cock is anything to go by—turned on—about the possibility of having sex with Julian like this. I never thought this would even be a remote possibility for me. Partly because I always assumed no one would ever want me to, but mostly because I was too afraid of hurting someone. Like I was hurt.

Julian groans against my lips, dragging me back to him and the moment. I tighten my hold on his shirt, trying to pull him closer to me. Jesus, I’m a fucking fiend for his touch. I’ve always liked physical affection, but now? It’s a hundred times worse.

“Hold, you’re good,” he murmurs as he pulls back from me.

“Of course I am,” I say with a big grin and a salacious wink.

“Darlin’, I love your ability to laugh through hard things, but you’re in your own head. You’re okay.Weare okay. Relax.”

My shoulders slump. Fuck. This is ridiculous.

“Okay. I have an idea,” Julian says.

I nod, all ears. Literally anything that will help me relax and let me enjoy this.

“Let’s get undressed and make out like horny teenagers. No pressure, no expectations.”

“Ooo. I may struggle with that. Never got to be a horny teenager.”

He sighs, biting the inside of his cheek in what looks like a failing attempt to keep a smile off his face. A laugh bubbles in my chest as he tries to narrow his eyes at me and look stern. I cover my mouth to keep it in, but it doesn’t help. When the laugh breaks free, he watches me for a second, but then his lips twitch, and he’s laughing too. I never thought I’d find someone who would do this with me. Hell, even Beck, who is perfect for Ro in every way, doesn’t laugh at trauma with him.

“Beck doesn’t laugh when Roman trauma dumps,” I muse. “You know what this means, right?” I ask, sitting back so I can pull my shirt off and slip out of my pants.

Julian shakes his head, his gaze glued to my body as I slowly unveil it to him. Once I’m fully naked, I press my body into his until he falls backward to the bed. “It means that I’m the winner,” I whisper, before covering his mouth with mine. His hands come up automatically, holding me by my hips.

He groans low in his throat as I tease his parted lips with the tip of my tongue. He’s right, though. I can do horny make out. It basically requires no brain power at this point, which is a good thing since it seems to make meloseall brain power. I reach between us, pulling on the hem of his shirt until his stomach isexposed, and then I drop myself back on top of him—soaking in his warmth, the way his hair feels against my skin, and the way his lips move against mine.

Before long, my cock is aching, leaking against Julian’s skin, my hips moving on their own, chasing the friction of his body. I pull back from his lips. He moans when I kiss my way down his jaw and throat. “Will you get undressed, please?” I murmur.

He nods, so I climb off him and kneel between his spread legs. He sits up, pulling off his shirt and tossing it to the floor in one smooth move. He doesn’t try to hide from me anymore when he’s undressed, thank God. I watch in amusement as he wiggles around, trying to pull his pants off. Once they’re finally free, I stare down at his thick dick, flushed and leaking.

He pulls a knee up, exposing the entrance to his body to me. Heat and fear flood me in equal parts, but he doesn’t give me time to linger. He sits up, leaning against the headboard. “Wanna come sit in my lap, darlin’?”

The second the question leaves his mouth, I’m scrambling into his lap, straddling his hips. Our cocks brush as I get settled, and he moans. Fuck, that sound is so hot. He grips my hips, pulling me in flush until our cocks are trapped together between us, and then we’re kissing again. Desperate kisses that are more teeth and tongue than anything else, whimpers falling from my throat as I move my hips.

He pulls back, panting against my lips. “Can I touch your ass?”

“You can touch me anywhere you want,” I whisper, slamming our mouths back together. His hands slide down my hips to cup my ass, then he’s kneading the skin and using his tight hold to move me, dragging my length over his, until I’m shaking and whining. My balls pull tight to my body as fire burns down my spine.

“Fuck, too close,” I whimper, trying like hell to hold off and not come.

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