Page 63 of Healed Hearts

He sighs. “Sure, it was our deal. But then you ripped your own heart out of your chest to help Wren, and I figured the deal could change.”Thank God.“So, I went to Wren’s room to wake her up to go get you and surprise, surprise, she was wide awake. Part of our family was missing, darlin’, and neither of us could sleep worth a shit without it.”

His words have my heart pounding wildly. “Me?” I whisper.

“Yes, you.”

“I’m scared. Not about the family thing. I’m surprising chill about that. The Wren thing. I love my patients, and I love my job. And I’m good at it.”

“Mmm, you really are,” Julian murmurs, interrupting me.

That brings a smile to my face. “I love her so much. I’m scared. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love the two of you. I mean, I love Ro and Beck, but it’s different, right? I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like… so much scarier to think about her being sick. This stuff doesn’t usually affect me. Not like that. Of course I feel for my patients, but I’ve never had the outcome mean so much to me. I’ve never almost broke down doing a routine procedure.”

“It wasn’t routine to you, though.”

I shake my head. Tears well in my eyes as I study the steady rise and fall of Wren’s little chest. “No,” I choke out. “It wasn’t routine at all. It was fucking awful.”

Julian takes a deep breath. “I hate to break it to you, darlin’, but I’m going to have to go back on my word.” Before I have time to panic about what that might mean, he continues. “I’m going to have to deny that I asked you to be Wren’s nurse. I think your talents would be much better suited if you were justherHolden, instead.”

I smile. That honestly sounds fucking perfect. “I’ll ask Beck’s mom to take over her case. Beck got on to me earlier when I was talking to him about it.”

“Beck’s mom is a nurse?”

I nod. “Yeah, her name is Lydia. She’s been working in peds for close to twenty years. She’s really smart, and she’ll take excellent care of Wren.” I snort. “Not sure how that’s going to work, since she’s basically adopted me as one of her own. And she’s gonna do the same with you and Wren. She’ll have her calling her grandma in no time. She wants grandkids so badly, but Beck and Ro don’t want kids. Beck’s an only child.”

Julian laughs softly. “Well, we’ll worry about that when we need to. In the meantime, I think we need to adjust the rules. Beck told me you mentioned you couldn’t come to my house tonight because it was against the rules, and you didn’t want to come off as needy.”

“Okay,” I whisper, embarrassment burning in my stomach. “What do you propose?”

“How about we do what’s best for us in the moment instead of trying to stick to a schedule or rigidity?”

“Okay, I think that sounds like a good idea. Are you… are you mad at me? For sleeping in Ro and Beck’s room?”

“Of course not. Do I wish you would have come to me for comfort? Yeah. Although I’ll admit that’s partially selfish on my part because I really needed you. Probably more than you needed me, but I’ll never begrudge your friendships. Never.”

“I’m glad,” I whisper. “I really did need you, though. I wanted to come to you. But you were acting strange. You showed up way later than you should have. You didn’t even say goodbye to me or respond to any of my texts.” My voice wavers, so I snap my mouth shut. I’m so tired of crying today.

Julian stops his soothing up and down motion and turns me on my side, and then he’s rolling to his side too. I tilt my head back so I can look at him. He gives me a soft smile. “You told Wren you loved her, Hold. It obliterated my heart, in a good way. I was scared if I talked to you, I’d blurt out how much I loved you. And then I ran to Ruby and Henry’s to have them watch Wren for me, and I forgot my phone at home. I didn’t have it at all until I got home from the hospital.”

“Oh. Why did you take her to them?”

He takes a deep breath. “I went to talk to Maya. I wanted to tell her about you—about the amazing man I’ve had the privilege of falling in love with.”

Oh.Tears fill my eyes and I let out an annoyed growl as they fall down my cheeks. I am so fucking tired of crying today.

Julian laughs as he reaches up to brush the tears from my face. “Why are you crying, darlin’?”

I wave my hand around. “I’m just emotional. Ignore me.”

“There’s no way I’m going to ignore you.” He gives me a smile, then presses soft kisses to my skin—my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my cheeks—before placing one on my lips. When he pulls back, my tears have stopped and my heart is so full it’s a miracle it even fits in my chest. “It’s been a long, hard fucking day. Let’s get some sleep, yeah?”

I nod. “Okay, but you be the big spoon because I want to cuddle Wren.”

“Perfect.”

I roll over and gently tuck my hands under Wren, pulling her in close until her head is resting on my bicep, and her body is cradled against me. She doesn’t even flinch. Julian scoots in closer to me, pressing his body fully against my back, and wraps his arm around me and Wren—holding us—cocooning us in his warm safety.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Julian

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