Page 6 of Healed Hearts

“Your phone.”

Awareness snaps back to his expression. “Oh fuck. I have to go.”

He’s off me in a flash, glancing down at the half-dried cum smeared across his stomach and chest before ultimately ignoring it. He leans over to pick up his clothes from the floor and renewed arousal pools in my stomach as I see two small dimples in the small of his back. Oh fuck.Back dimples. He hastily pulls his clothes on, and takes his phone out, texting someone as he walks toward the door. Watching him walk away makes my stomach sink. I’m clearly no good at hookups because this isnotthe reaction I should be having.

Right before he walks out the bedroom door, he pauses, turning to me. His expression is serious, and he nibbles on his bottom lip nervously, but doesn’t speak. I’m about to ask if he’s okay when he says, “Thank you. You really don’t know how much tonight meant to me. The way you—” His voice cuts off abruptly, and he inhales a shaky breath, his eyes darting all around the room before finally settling on me. “No one’s ever asked me before. It… thank you,” he says again.

With a single resolute nod, he turns and leaves the room.

The sound of the front door shutting echoes through the otherwise quiet house. I stare up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of what he said. Surely he didn’t mean that no one’s ever asked if he was comfortable and okay with things, right? That would be awful. My stomach sours at the thought of anyone taking advantage of him and not making his pleasure a priority. Nothing to see here—totally a normal reaction to have to a hookup you’re never going to see again.

With a sigh, I climb from the bed and head into the bathroom to shower. After I step under the hot spray of water, I try to shove him from my mind, but it doesn’t work. I really have never seen a man so… pretty in my entire life. The smudgy black liner? Yes. The dark wavy hair? Also yes. How small he is compared to me? Never thought that would be my kink, but yes. Not small everywhere, though, my brain unhelpfully provides. And no, that was a pleasant surprise. It’s a real shame he wasn’t down for penetration because I would have been all over that. My cock thickens against my thigh and I glare down at it. “Stop it. We can’t act like this.”

Does it listen? No. The memory of breathy whimpers and sleepy green eyes float through my mind, and it stiffens further. I try to ignore it, grabbing the soap and getting a good lather going to clean the cum out of my chest hair. Ugh, I hate this. I should go get waxed. Although, the hairdoesdistract from my stomach, so maybe not.

My hands work the soap into my skin as thoughts of Holden’s lithe body moving over mine infiltrate my brain. A deep groan echoes off the tiles, and it takes an embarrassingly long minute to realize I made that sound.No one else is here, Julian. Who else would it have been?I can’t possibly be horny again, right?

The way my cock is pulsing, though, arousal pooling low in my stomach, proves that’s a lie. I won’t jack off. I won’t. I got back out there. I hooked up with someone. That’s enough. I don’tneed anything more than that. I did the big, scary thing, and I’m good now.

Am I, though? I think I could have been, if that hadn’t been so… whatever the fuck it was. I had a whole plan—find someone safe to hook up with, keep it about pleasure and nothing else, keep a healthy level of separation, and send them on their merry way.

Easy.

Yeah, right. Is the healthy level of separation in the room with us? No. I think it may be somewhere else entirely, still gasping for air as it drowns in those guarded green eyes.

This is ridiculous. I stare down at my dick. I mean, I could get off really quick, right? No harm, no foul. In and out and then I can go to sleep. That sounds like an incredibly stupid idea, but my hand is already reaching for my cock, my fingers already wrapping around it, and my mind already thinking about the way Holden’s thick length felt against mine. The memories of the sounds he made echo in my mind as I stroke myself slowly. I picture those eyes, the belly button ring, and the way his body shivered as my fingers caressed the skin of his stomach. The fuckingback dimples. Holy shit.

I bite my lip as my hips rock into my fist. Jacking off to someone I hooked up with not even twenty minutes ago may be a new low, but I really can’t help it. He was so… and everything just felt… ugh.

I moan, speeding up my pace as my hand tightens on my shaft. My orgasm nips on my heels way sooner than is strictly good for my ego, my balls drawing up tight against my body. I try to slow myself down, draw it out, make it last, but I can’t. Fuck, this feels so good. I draw in a deep breath through my nose, and even though I know it’s impossible, that citrusy scent fills my senses. I’m gone, falling over the edge, ropes of cum covering my handand the shower floor before being washed away by the spray of water.

Half-shocked, I stare down at my softening cock. Wow, I really am a moron.

I turn the water off with a sigh and step out of the shower. Grabbing a towel, I dry myself quickly and head to my bedroom. When I climb into bed and pull the blankets over myself, Holden’s scent is everywhere. There’s no way, though, since he was barely here for more than a few hours. I didn’t even want him in my bed to begin with, but the way his eyes dimmed when he looked at the couch—like it was out to get him—kind of ruined all my plans there. This wouldn’t be affecting me so much if I had kept him out of my bed. Yeah, that’s it. Of course it didn’t feel detached the way I expected it to. Hell, I went from not even planning to bring anyone home at all, to having sex in my bed. The deviation in my plan threw me for a loop, that’s all. No reason to panic or stress. Besides, I’ll never even see him again.

I am going to buy some lube, though. Damn. What type of man doesn’t even have lube in his nightstand?

I roll to my side, and that citrusy scent fills my nose again. It well and truly sends a shiver down my spine. It’s fine, though. Tomorrow I’ll wash the sheets as soon as I wake up. Once I get his scent out of my sheets, it’ll be okay. Then I’ll go pick up Wren and everything will go back to normal.

I step through the front door at Maya’s parents’ house, expecting my normal tackle hug, but it doesn’t come.

“Wren?” I call out playfully, thinking maybe she’s hiding from me.

“Oh, Julian, you’re here,” Ruby, Maya’s mom, says as she comes around the corner.

“Yeah. Sorry I’m early. I missed my girl.”

She smiles at me. “I was truthfully about to call you. She’s not feeling well today. She’s been crying for you all morning.” My heart sinks.

“She in her room?” I ask, already taking off through the kitchen with Ruby following me.

“She’s actually in bed with Poppy. She didn’t want to be alone.”

Oh, my heart. I was out hooking up, and my baby was here—sick and needing her daddy. Ruby encouraged me to go out last night. I know she thinks I need to get back out there, but how do I balance that with taking care of Wren? The one time I go out, she wakes up sick, and I’m not even here.

“Julian, don’t do that to yourself. You deserve to be happy too. Kids get sick,” Ruby says. I know she’s right, but it doesn’t help the guilt.

I give a courtesy knock on the bedroom door and open it. Wren lifts her head off her poppy’s chest and looks at me. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and I can tell she doesn’t feel good. It’s written all over her face.

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