Page 51 of Healed Hearts

He freezes for a second, and I worry I’ve overstepped, but then he’s scrambling to unbutton and unzip his jeans. We let out simultaneous moans when his cock springs free. “Now what?” he asks breathlessly. There’s a hint of fear there too. This feels like a test, like he’s giving me something special, seeing how I treat it. I have no intention of fucking it up.

“Stroke yourself,” I whisper. “Slowly.”

He whines, but I see his arm moving out of the corner of my eye. My cock throbs in time with my rapid heartbeat. “Like this?” he murmurs. I glance at him again to see his hand slowly moving up and down his cock, giving it a little twist at the top of each stroke. I groan at the sight, my hips thrusting up into absolutely nothing. Fucking hell.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” The only thing not perfect about it is that I don’t get to watch him, so when I see a side road ahead, I turn on my blinker and pull off onto it.

He pauses his movements and his voice is shaky, more fear than anything else, when he says, “Julian. I… I can play this game, or you can touch me, but not both. I can’t handle both. I’m sorry.” He sounds genuinely upset about that.

“Holden, I will never want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. If I can’t touch, that’s fine. I only pulled over to watch, anyway.”

He nods rapidly—the fear leaving his expression, and desire taking over again in an instant.

Chapter Seventeen

Holden

Is this the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me? I think it is. I’ve never trusted anyone to do this with me—to talk me through it. To order me around. Not that Julian’s soft voice is particularly bossy or stern. Honestly, it sounds like he’s begging more than ordering.

I squeeze the head of my cock, trying to do this slowly, so I don’t blow in three seconds and ruin all the fun.

“Fuck, darlin’,” Julian rasps. “You have no idea how fucking sexy you look right now, how much you turn me on.” His voice isa low rumble that settles in my stomach and makes me gasp, my cock jerking. I have to pull my hand away so I don’t come.

After a few seconds, I’m not hanging on the edge anymore, so I grip my cock again, giving myself slow, even strokes. Fuck. My head drops against the headrest as the pleasure works its way through my body.

“What about you?” I gasp out as my balls pull up tight to my body, my legs trembling.

“Oh, I’m doing just fine,” he groans. “I’m not missing out on a single thing. A little faster now, yeah?” he asks.

I pick up the pace, my eyes rolling back and a whine rising in my throat. Ugh, why is this so good? It’s not even sex, and it feels better than anything else I’ve ever done. Well, except for my first time with him. Is this what it feels like when you fully trust someone to not take advantage of you?Do I trust Julian?My cock throbs, sticky pre-cum spilling from the tip and collecting on my hand. All signs point to yes. His name leaves my mouth on a breathy moan, my body practically begging me to let him touch me.

I swallow down the lump of fear in my throat, and turn to him. His eyes are burning, his gaze locked onto me—but not my cock the way I thought it would be. No, he’s watching my face. One of his hands is gripping the steering wheel, and the other the back of his seat. “Fuck, you should see yourself right now,” he whispers.

My stomach tightens in arousal, my breath coming out a little sharp and panting. “Are you trying not to touch me?” I ask, watching the way his hands are flexing, like he’s fighting the urge to let go.

He shakes his head. “No, darlin’. Your boundaries are easy to respect. I’m trying not to touch me. If I do, I’m going to come in my jeans.”

A shiver runs down my spine at his words, and my hips thrust up into my hand, cum shooting from the tip of my cock. I choke out a groan, my hand moving rapidly over my pulsing cock. “Oh god, oh god,” I moan, as I come and come and fucking come. When the waves of pleasure come to an end, I collapse against the seat, releasing my sticky, cum-covered cock.

“Holy hell,” Julian whispers, his tone reverent and strained.

I turn to him with a grin. His hands are still flexing, and his hard cock is pressed against the front of his jeans, a wet spot forming on them. I’m not sure if he came or if he’s just leaking that much, but it doesn’t matter. Either way, he looks debauched and fucking sexy, and I want him again. Already. Just gotta give my cock a few minutes to catch up. “Let’s go,” I choke out. “I want to suck your cock.”

Julian groans, his head falling forward until his chin is pressed to his chest. “I need you to sit over there quietly until we get home, okay?” he murmurs, his voice raw.

I nod, giving him a little smirk. I tuck my cock into my jeans, wiping my hand on the fabric as Julian pulls back onto the highway. I watch him as we drive. He’s so gorgeous. And kind.Your boundaries are easy to respect. Fuck, I should not find that so hot, right? Something’s probably wrong with my head. The second we pull into the driveway, I let out a breath. I rarely give people blowjobs, too much room for them to do something that will trigger me. But none of the usual fear I have is anywhere to be found. Instead, I’m filled with an almost unbearable urge to make Julian feel good.

As soon as he parks, I’m out of the car like a shot, heading to the front door with Julian hot on my trail. He unlocks the door and pulls me in with him before slamming his mouth down onto mine. I raise on my tip-toes, trying to make it easier to reach him. I’m a full-blown addict to kissing at this point. It’s kind of a problem.

Julian grips my ass and lifts me, pulling me into his arms, and pins me against the door. Like by the car, I tense, but I focus on the feel of his lips, replaying the words he’s consistently repeated, until I relax right into his hold. He adjusts me slightly until our cocks are lined up. He slips his tongue into my mouth at the same time he rotates his hips, his cock grinding against mine. I groan into his mouth, the dry friction so fucking good I almost can’t cope. His tongue tangles with mine as he thrusts again. An image of him thrusting into me fills my brain, and I gasp, fear and arousal mixing in my stomach. The fear triggers my fight or flight, but I don’t shove him away the way I want to. He won’t violate me. He’ll respect my boundaries. He won’t hurt me. It’s not until he asks if I’m okay that I realize I’ve stopped kissing him. I nod. “You won’t hurt me. You’ll respect my boundaries,” I say, repeating out loud the words I’m saying in my head.

He brushes his nose against mine. “Of course I won’t hurt you. And I’ll always respect your boundaries. Always.”

I nod. I’m really starting to believe that. Fully. In my heart and soul. God, it feels so good to believe that. I slam our mouths together again. He groans, tightening his hold on my body. “Bed,” I moan into his mouth. “Bed, bed, bed.”

He doesn’t even hesitate; he pulls me off the door, holding me tightly, and carries me straight to his room. He doesn’t put me down until we’re next to his bed. I stand in front of him for a second, staring up at him. He’s looking at me with so much tenderness that it makes my stomach flip. I drop my gaze to his crotch and swallow hard as I reach shaky hands out to unbutton and unzip his pants. I tug on them, and he helps me pull them down. He kicks his shoes off and pulls them fully off. “Shirt,” I choke out, knowing full well there’s no way I’m getting it off myself without a step stool.

He pulls it quickly over his head, and then he’s standing in front of me, fully naked. I rake my eyes over his body. God, this man is perfection. “Bed,” I say again, and he climbs in, lying on top of the blankets with his arms tucked under his head. I waste no time stripping down, then I’m climbing on top of him. I grip his hair and tilt his head to the side. He lets out a deep groan as I suck a bruise into the skin of his neck. I pull back and admire my handiwork with a smirk.

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