Page 4 of Healed Hearts

“No, it’s…” I sigh, irritated that I can’t get over this stupid shit already.It’s been years, Holden. Let it go. “I have some… hang-ups about sex.”

To my surprise, he chuckles, deep and rich and warm, and fuck me. I would have this man’s babies. “Don’t we all. What can I do to make you more comfortable?”

What can I do to make you more comfortable?Did he seriously just ask me that? Hasanyoneever asked me that? “Um, a bed. I can’t… the couch is…” My voice trails off. I can’t tell him the truth. Hell, I haven’t even toldRomanhow bad my hang-ups with sex are.

He glances at the couch, then turns to me with a nod. “Okay. We can go to the bed.”

I nod, a weight lifting off my chest as I follow him to a room off the living room. He shuts the door behind us and turns to face me. To my absolute shock, he drops to his knees, and my cock twitches at the sight of him kneeling in front of me. When he lifts his gaze to my face, his deep brown eyes are soft. The way he takes me in—his eyes moving slowly across my features—feels more intimate than it has any right to. His expression makes my stomach twist and my heart flutter in my throat. Oh, that’s… not a fun feeling. I swallow hard, trying to get my heart back into my chest where it belongs.

It doesn’t really work.

Game face, Hold.

I smirk down at him. “Are we gonna do this or?” I ask, hoping that my voice doesn’t sound as terrified to him as it does to me.

His lips part as he pulls in a shaky breath. His eyes drop again, thank God, and he softly murmurs, “I really like this piercing.” His fingers gently circle my belly button, and my stomach clenches at the gentle touch. I know I said I need sex to feel personal, but maybe notthispersonal. Holy hell. His eyes dart to mine. “Is it okay if I kiss you here?” he asks, his fingers slipping under the hem of my shirt, his knuckles brushing against my skin.

I nod. Am I breathing heavily? Feels like I am. Why is this affecting me so much? Maybe I should leave—a breathy sound falls from my lips as his warm mouth settles on my sternum. The deep groan he lets out against my skin makes my dick harden rapidly. This is too much. I bring my hands up with the intent to push him away from me, but I find myself twisting my fingers into his thick hair instead.

Jesus, this feels so good. He grips my sides, holding me in place as he works his lips down my stomach toward the waistband of my jeans. I genuinely couldn’t tell you the last time I was this turned on, and he’s barely even touched me. My brain is screamingdanger, danger, danger, but my body is screamingoh, fuck yes.

When he reaches my hipbones, he pauses, lifting his gaze to mine. “What are you comfortable doing?” he asks, eyes locked on me. Something about the way he asks it has my pulse skyrocketing and my cock throbbing. It also fills me with a good deal of confusion. This is not how my usual hookups go.

“Um, I’m okay with frotting.”

“Would you like to get in bed?” he asks, and then he smiles. It’s soft, teasing almost. “Something tells me we may have to get a little creative to get things lined up properly, and that might be easier lying down.”

I belatedly realize that I’m still gripping his hair, so I drop my hands and step back. “Okay.”

He stands in one fluid motion that should not be as graceful as it is considering how big he is, and grips the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Good lord, I was right. If I had a perfect type, it would one hundred percent be this man. He’s strong, that’s clear to see. His arms are, quite honestly, bigger around than my thighs, his shoulders broad, and it all tapers down into the sexiest fucking stomach I’ve ever seen in my life. No six-pack, just soft fucking perfection.

I almost swallow my tongue at the sight of the dark hair dusted across his chest and down to his waistband. I make a strange noise, something between a moan and a gasp, and force my eyes to meet his. We stare at each other in silence for a second before he speaks up. “I can put my shirt back on if you’d like.”

“In what world would I like that?” I blurt out, appalled at the idea of him covering all that up.

He shrugs, bringing his hands in front of his stomach like he’s self-conscious. “I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”

“Oh, it’s most certainly my cup of tea.”

His lips quirk up in a grin. I’m officially done waiting and freaking out. I pull my shirt over my head and unbutton my jeans, my cock practically sobbing in relief that it has more room. Julian’s eyes follow my movements, his throat bobbing as I undress. “Take your clothes off, if you’d like,” I say as I kick off my shoes and pull my jeans down my legs to take them off.

“You’re a little bossy, huh?” he asks, and I lift my gaze to his quickly. He doesn’t look like he hates that, though, or like it’s a bad thing. He’s giving me that same grin as before, and I let myself relax a little.

“I said, ‘if you’d like.’”

He chuckles, and the deep sound causes all kinds of weird shit to happen to my stomach.Okay, Hold, that’s enough. Get in, get off, get out.

He strips down fully and climbs onto the bed. Once I’m naked, I waste no time joining him. “Do you have lube?” I ask.

His face does something complicated, and what looks a lot like panic flashes across it. “Shit. No. I think there’s lotion in the bathroom, though. Hang on.”

What kind of man doesn’t keep lube by the bed? What the hell? He jumps up and runs off, returning a minute later, a bottle of lotion in his hand. I let my eyes trail down his body as he comes back to the bed. I’m half-convinced this man is a gift from God himself. Fucking hell. When he climbs in, I waste no time. I straddle his hips and reach for the bottle of lotion he’s still holding. After pouring a generous amount in my palm, I reach down and grip us both in my hand.

Which, okay, is not exactly working for me.

I may be small in stature, but I’m not exactly…proportionate. And well, Julianis. My fingers don’t even come close to fully wrapping around both of us. He makes a strangled sound, so I glance up at him. He’s staring down at our cocks, eyes wide, lips spit-slick like he licked them. My stomach flutters and for a brief moment, the thought of leaning down and pressing my lips to his flashes through my mind. A hot spike ofsomethingshoots through my body at the thought.

Nope. No. Not going there.

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