Page 36 of Healed Hearts

Actually, Iwouldlike to know. I’d like to know everything about him. “How did you know you wanted to be a nurse?”

He cocks his head to the side. “I just did. It wasn’t ever really a thought for me. I knew from a young age it was what I wanted to do. You know, I don’t even know what you do. Are you taking time off work for Wren?”

“Nah,” I say. “I do freelance marketing. I run socials for a couple of companies currently, and then I do random design work for extra side money. It’s nice because I can do it from home, and still be here with Wren.”

He hums, considering that. “I bet that’s nice. Although, I’m sure it’s challenging to do it alone.” He doesn’t sound like he’s fishing for information, and yet I’m finding that Iwantto open up to him.

“Well, Maya, Wren’s mom, had great parents. They’re wonderful with Wren and love to spend time with her. So, I’m not completely alone.”

“That’s good,” he says softly. “What about your parents? Are they around?”

I shake my head. “Nah, they disowned me.”

Holden’s eyes widen and his face falls. “I’m so sorry.”

“Eh, it’s not a big deal to me. It used to hurt a lot, but I’ve come to terms with it.”

“It’s still awful. No matter how many times we tell ourselves it’s their loss,” Holden whispers.

I can tell from his tone that he’s speaking from experience, not just from a place of empathy. “You too?” I ask.

“Yeah, me too. Couldn’t hide the gay, unfortunately.” His voice is calm, indifferent almost. “What about you?”

“Well, I could hide the bi. And they were even okay with that, oddly enough. Mostly because I guess I don’t ‘look like I’m into men’,” I say, using my fingers to make air quotes. “They were fine with that, but not the baby born out of wedlock.”

“Oh,” Holden giggles. “Liking dick was okay, but that sweet girl was too much, huh?”

His words make a startled laugh burst from my chest. “Yeah, I guess so. Oh well. I wouldn’t trade her for the world. And I definitely wouldn’t trade her for their conditional love. That’s athemproblem.”

“So you were, what, twenty-three when you had her?”

“Yeah. Honestly, my entire life back then was flipped upside down. Maya found out she had cancer at her twenty-week appointment.” I drop my eyes, remembering how badly I wanted her to give up Wren and fight for her life instead. “I’m not proud of it, but I asked her to abort Wren. She refused, obviously. She died when Wren was six months old. By the time she could get treatment, it was already too late. Hell, maybe it always would have been. I didn’treallywant to lose Wren. I loved her and wanted her from the second Maya told me she was pregnant. She was an accidental baby, but I still wanted her. I didn’t want to lose Maya, though.”

I glance up at Holden when his hand covers mine. He’s got his “nurse face” on. All big, soft eyes and kind compassion. “That must have been really hard for you. But it’s clear to anyone that you love that little girl more than anything.”

I swipe at the tears that have gathered in my eyes. “Yeah,” I choke out. “I do. I really do. Ugh, I’m sorry. I promise I’m not always this big of a crybaby.” I try for a laugh, but it comes out a little wet.

Holden doesn’t say a word. He simply leans over and rests his head against my upper arm. His scent invades my senses and I want so badly to bury my face in his hair and breathe him in. I resist, but just barely. Fuck, I’m in so much trouble.

“You know,” he says after a few moments. “My best friend Roman is constantly on my ass about not apologizing for having feelings.” He laughs. “God, if I had a dollar for every time that man told me, ‘Now Hold, what have we talked about? We don’t apologize for how we feel.’”

I chuckle. “Is Roman the guy you were talking about at the hospital? How did you two meet?”

Holden sighs. He’s quiet for so long I worry I’ve struck a nerve that he doesn’t want to talk about, but then he says, “Yeah, heis. He saved my sorry ass when I was sixteen, after my parents kicked me out.”

Oh shit. “Your parents kicked you out when you were sixteen?” At least mine had the decency to wait to disown me until I was grown.

He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “No, they kicked me out when I was fourteen.”

“But you said…” My voice trails off as I try to piece things together.

“Yeah, Ro saved me when I was sixteen. But before that, I lived on the streets.”

“For two years?” I ask, shock and anger in my voice. What the fuck kind of parents did he have? How did he even survive? “How did you even manage? I couldn’t imagine making it on the streets at my age, let alone so young.”

“Youhaveseen my ass, right? It got me quite a bit when I played my cards right.” Holden’s answer comes lightning quick. I pause, letting his words sink in. The dots all start to connect—no anal, andI have hang-ups about sex, andnobody has ever asked me before. Holy fuck. I draw in a sharp gasp, and Holden tenses against me, sitting up and putting space between us so quickly that it makes my head spin.

“Normal people don’t think trauma is funny, Hold,” he mumbles under his breath. What he just said was horrifying, but truthfully, he’s also fucking hilarious, and I can’t help but laugh.

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