Page 3 of Healed Hearts

I sigh, throwing the blankets off myself, and climb from the bed. I was trying to go to bed early, but judging by the soundscoming from the next room, that’s not going to be happening anytime soon.

I’ve been working in the ER since I first finished nursing school and got licensed, but I’m ready for a change. Tomorrow is my first day in the pediatric unit, and I’m really excited, but a little nervous, hence the early bedtime.

I can’t handle any more ofthis, though, for sure. And I refuse—absolutelyrefuse—to jerk off. Not when it’s the live porn show next door that’s getting my dick hard. It’s not even like it’sthemspecifically. Iama red-blooded gay man, after all, and they aren’t exactly quiet, but it’s still a line I won’t cross. I glance around the room. I guess I could go out. Let them do… whatever it is they’re doing and go find some fun of my own.

A niggle of anxiety stirs in my gut at the thought, but I shove it down. I’m not sixteen anymore, and I’m in charge,trulyin charge, of what I want and what I’ll allow to happen to me. No one else gets to make the rules for my body.

I open the closet door and check out my options. It was warm today, so I reach in, grabbing my favorite cropped shirt and a pair of my tightest jeans. Once I’m dressed, I head to the bathroom to apply some eyeliner. If I had known those two would be going at it like that, and I’d end up deciding to go out, I wouldn’t have even taken it off.

After heading back to my room to grab my phone, I fire off a quick text to Ro to let him know I’m going out. Then I grab my keys and head out the door.

The music in the club is pounding. It’s a pity that Ro’s hometown is so small that I had to drive half an hour to get here, but whatever. At least there’ssomethingclose by.

I sit down at the bar and ask for water. I probablycouldhave a drink, but I’ve never touched alcohol and I never will. Maybe it’s some misguided loyalty to Ro, but more than that, I’ve never felt the need to. Besides, you don’t get skin as glowy and smooth as mine while putting trash in your body.

As I’m sipping on my water, I scan the crowded dance floor, my eyes snagging on a man standing along the wall. He’s fucking huge, and yeah, okay, I know I’m small. But he’s massive, even compared tonormalstandards. His black shirt is stretched over his muscles, his biceps almost too big to be contained within the fabric, and his wide chest tapering off to what looks like a mouthwatering, soft belly. My cock gives a little twitch in my jeans as I watch him. He’s scanning the dance floor, but it doesn’t look like he’s actively looking for something. Not the way I am, anyway.

He brings a hand up, running in through his artfully messy black hair. Like he can tell that I’m watching him, his gaze turns to mine. This is the ride or die moment right here. If he asserts his dominance as the big bad guy who can do whatever he wants, I’m out. I don’t play those games. I’m in control or I’m gone. No other option.

For a long while, his eyes don’t leave mine, but then they drop, and he does a slow perusal of my body. He doesn’t give any indication that he’s about to walk over here and be a creep, so that’s a point for him. Instead, he lets his eyes smoothly move away from me and goes back to scanning the dance floor. It’s a cat-and-mouse game, though, because within a couple of seconds his eyes are on mine again.

After a few minutes of us staring each other down, he cocks his head to the side, as if to sayball’s in your court, and honestly? That’s all the invitation I need. I stand from the barstool and head in his direction.

It’s hard for me to have meaningless hookups. I need physical connection just as much as the next person, of course, but I generally don’t trust people enough to get close to them. And I have a laundry list of rules about sex and what I’ll allow. I don’t want hearts and flowers and romance, but I also don’t want to feel used.

When I’m standing in front of him, I glance up. Holy fuck, this dude is tall. Like, easily a foot taller than me. There’s something about him that puts me at ease, which you’d think wouldput me at ease,but it doesn’t. It makes all my usual calm vanish, and I hold my hand out—like a fucking idiot—to shake his hand. It almost feels like I’m setting up a business transaction, which… oof.Not the best analogy, Hold.

Thankfully, his eyes light up with humor, and he reaches out, sliding his large hand into mine. A rush of…somethingflies up my arm at the contact, and I have to resist the urge to jerk my hand away from him.

His voice is a low rumble when he speaks. “I’m Julian.”

“I’m Holden. Let’s pretend I didn’t shake your hand like a damn idiot, okay?” I say, pulling my hand from his, letting it fall to my side.

His deep chuckle washes over me, and I have to resist the urge to groan. Fuck me, his voice is deep. “Wanna get out of here?” I ask as I eye him up and down. My usual car fuck and run isn’t going to work for this guy. I’m not even sure he’dfitin my car.

He seems to think about it for a second, but he nods. “My place or yours?”

“Mine’s half an hour away, so if yours is closer…” I let my voice trail off.

“I’m about fifteen out.”

Sounds perfect to me. I give him a thumbs up, and immediately want to facepalm.

I follow him as he walks through the throng of people dancing, watching as the muscles in his back flex with each step. He carries himself with a confidence that exhilarates me as much as it makes me nervous.

“I’ll follow you, yeah?” I ask as we step out into the muggy parking lot.

“Sounds good to me,” he responds. And good lord almighty, that fucking voice.

“I should probably tell you before we go,” I start, waiting until he turns to look at me to continue. “I don’t do anal and I don’t kiss. So, if that’s what you’re looking for, we should go our separate ways now.”

I study his face carefully to make sure there’s no trick or deceit when he says, “That’s fine. I don’t mind.” He almost looks relieved, a tension I didn’t even notice at first dropping from his shoulders.

Relief floods me, and I nod, heading toward my car. I wait until he backs out before doing the same, and follow him out of the lot onto the highway. I’m glad that he agreed so easily to no anal. He looked sincere too, like it really didn’t bother him. I know most people look at me and see a tiny twink, and that’s fine. But I’m not a tiny twink you can fuck with, and I’m definitely not a tiny twink who’s gonna bend over for any more assholes. I’ve had more than my fair share of that already. Not that I thinkthisguy is an asshole, but the statement still stands.

It doesn’t take long before he’s pulling into a driveway. I park behind him and pin my location for Roman, then step out of the car. We have a system, and he knows if I drop my location, I’m with someone. If I don’t reach out, and his attempts to reach me are unsuccessful, he’ll come get me. Thankfully, it’s not something we’ve ever had to use, as I’m pretty good at holding my own, but it makes me feel a little safer in situations like this.

I follow Julian into the house. He’s kind of quiet, and it has me a bit on edge. Part of me thinks maybe this is a bad idea, but a bigger part of me wants to get off, and for now, that’s the part I’m going to listen to. He leads me to the couch, and that feels a little too much like being used for me, so I hesitate. He notices and turns to me. “Everything okay? We don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable.”

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