Page 141 of Healed Hearts

I can’t deny a sweet request like that, so I scoot over just a bit and sit her between Julian and me.

She waits patiently for Julian to hand him over. “Gotta support his head, baby girl,” he murmurs, adjusting the baby and Wren’s arm until his head is resting in the crook of herelbow. You can tell Julian’s an old pro because he gently cups Warren’s head to offer a little more support.

“Hi, baby,” Wren whispers, then she leans down and places a soft kiss on his forehead.

Oh shit. I think my heart may actually explode.

My eyes find Julian’s, and he’s already looking at me. There’s so much love and happiness and emotion swirling in his deep brown eyes that if I wasn’t sitting down, I think my knees would be weak.

“What do you think of that baby?” Julian asks.

“I love him. He’s little,” Wren says, tearing her gaze from Warren to look at Julian.

“He sure is,” he says, smiling down at her. “Should we let Daddy hold him?”

She glances back at me and shakes her head. “No. He’s my baby. I’ll hold him.”

I let out a choked laugh. Julian and I talked this decision to death, but I still worried that Wren wouldn’t adjust well, or that she’d feel left out. I never once considered that she would steal the baby and not want to give him back.

Julian smiles. “Wren, you’ve got to share. He’s not just your baby.”

I shake my head and place my hand on his knee. “It’s okay. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of late nights with him. She can have him for now.”

As I watch Wren stare down at her new baby brother, tears fill my eyes. I’m so incredibly thankful to have this life. When I think back on the kid I once was, the struggles I’ve had to endure, and the people in my life who have shaped and molded me into the person I am today, it fills me with so much joy and gratitude. I almost can’t contain it.

Julian

When I walk into the house from the grocery store, I expect there to be chaos like there usually is. But I’m met with silence, and it doesn’t take long to figure out why.

Holden is lying on the couch, Wren stretched out against his side with her head on his chest, and Warren cradled in his other arm. They’re all three dead asleep.

I barely remember Wren being a baby. Everything from back then is tangled up in grief and anxiety and heartache. I wasn’t sleeping much anyway, so waking up with a baby was the least of my worries.

Warren is a great little sleeper, usually only waking up two to three times a night and then falling right back asleep after he eats and gets a diaper change, but it still takes a toll.

Holden has taken to being a dad just like I knew he would. Not just with Wren, but also with Warren. He’s kind and attentive and patient. But he’s also firm and knows how to enforce boundaries when needed.

And Wren. She’s the best big sister in the world. She loves to feed him and play with him, even though he’s not doing much playing just yet. Her entire camera roll is Warren. Pictures of tiny toes, and itty bitty fingers. Pictures of her holding his hand, and selfies of her kissing his cheek. I couldn’t be more proud of her.

I pull my phone from my pocket to take a photo of them all cuddled up together. I have about a million at this point, but I don’t care. One more never hurts.

I’m careful to not wake them as I make my way to the kitchen to unload the groceries and put everything away. We’re hosting a family dinner at our house tonight. Beck and Roman are coming, along with Beck’s parents, and even his friend Riley. I haven’t met her yet, but just from what everyone has told me, I already know I’m going to love her.

Ruby and Henry are coming too. And they’ve already claimed Warren as one of their own, referring to themselves as Poppy and Mamaw. I have no idea how I got so lucky that this is my life, that I get to live this way.

My heart gives a little squeeze as I think about how this time last year, I was alone with just Wren. Occasionally visiting Ruby and Henry, not really sure where I fit within the world anymore.

And then I started drowning in emerald green eyes, and instead of suffocating, I felt like I could breathe.

“Julian?” Holden’s raspy, tired voice comes from the edge of the kitchen, and I turn just in time to see him walking toward me.

“Hey, darlin’. Did you have a good nap?” I ask, holding my arms open to him.

He steps into my embrace and rests his forehead against my chest. “I did. Missed you, though.”

I lift him into my arms and hold him against my chest. It’s not something we’ve done a lot of in the last couple of weeks. “I missed you too.”

He wraps his arms around my shoulders and buries his face in my throat with a long, happy sigh. Everything falls away, just like it always does when he’s in my arms. I hold him to me, breathing in the scent of citrus, and reveling in his warmth for a long time.

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