Page 133 of Healed Hearts

“Talk to them about coping techniques. I fully support your decision to not have medication, but I think it would be good tohave more tools in your tool belt to help you. I think you could also benefit from therapy.”

Julian laughs. “Oh, look who’s advocating for therapy.”

I shrug. I’ve always advocated for therapy. I just hate it. I’ve been doing weekly sessions since I got triggered by Motel Guy. “Yeah, I mean, I hate it. But it does help.”

He glances around at all the balloons covering the floor. “Do you think there’s enough now?”

“Yeah, I think that’s probably enough,” I admit with a grin.

Julian wraps me up in his arms and buries his face in my hair. “I’ll work on finding a therapist. I’m sure it’s not the worst idea in the world to talk to someone. I did go briefly after Maya died. But that was more grief counseling than anything else.”

I snuggle deeper into him. Another reason I’ll be glad to get out of here is that I barely get to cuddle him anymore. It’s the worst. “I miss cuddling,” I mumble into Julian’s chest.

“Aww. I miss cuddling, too, darlin’. Just a few more weeks.”

A knock on the door interrupts our mini cuddle session. I pull back with an irritated huff that has Julian chuckling.

“We come bearing cake and ice cream,” Ro says as he and Beck step into the conference room I commandeered to have this party.

Beck looks around at the decorations, then gives me a grin. “You did good, Hold. It’s cute. She’s going to love it.”

“Thanks, Beck.” I gesture to the gift in his hand. “You can set that on the table over there.”

Roman laughs. “It’s one of many.”

Beck glares at him, but does set the gift down. “Yeah, I’ve got to run out and bring the rest up.”

“The rest?” Julian echoes. “My God, Beckett. How many?”

Beck looks a little sheepish, and Roman laughs again. “Um, many.”

I sigh. “How many is many, Beckett?”

He shrugs. “Look, I couldn’t decide what to get.”

Roman wraps his arm around Beck’s waist and kisses his temple. “I tried to reel him in, but I couldn’t say no. I’d like to see you try.”

Julian and I share a look, and then he’s striding across the room and hugging Beck. Beck freezes for a second, but then he’s wrapping his arms around Julian in an equally tight hug. “Thank you,” Julian whispers, just loud enough for me to hear the tremor in his voice. Then he’s pulling back and giving Ro the same treatment. “You guys don’t know how much it means to me that you’ve accepted us so quickly into your family.”

I watch them with a smile. I can’t help it. When Julian pulls away, his eyes are a little wet.

“Okay,” Beck says, wiping a little at his own eyes. He’s such a sap and I love it. “Who’s going to help me bring these gifts up?”

Twenty minutes later, with a table full of gifts and a room full of decorations, Wren steps into the room. Ruby, Henry, and Lydia follow her in. “Happy Birthday, Wren!” we all shout as Wren looks around the room with wide eyes, before she breaks out in a huge grin.

We keep the party short and sweet, since Julian has an appointment and Wren tends to tire easily. Well, as short and sweet as you can when you have over twenty presents to open from two overzealous uncles alone. She’s gotten everything from coloring books and crayons, which Beck claimed she needed because he was going to teach her to draw, to new Frozen dolls. By the time she’s almost through the pile, she’s dozing off sitting up.

“Aw, man. I feel bad,” Beck says. “I shouldn’t have gone so overboard.”

Julian glances over at him. “Don’t even worry about it. She can finish opening them later. She’s going to be so excited when she’s actually awake enough to play with them.”

She hasn’t opened mine yet, and for that, I’m thankful. I can put off telling Julian I got his kid an iPad for just a little longer. She will love it, though. And I’ve already loaded it with tons of educational games. But also some fun ones. Because life is all about balance.

When Wren lists to the side, Julian stands. “Hey, baby girl. Let’s go take a nap, yeah?”

She nods, and raises her hands up to him. When he picks her up, she immediately settles her head on his shoulder and is out cold.

After the party, Julian left to go to his doctor’s appointment, and Wren and I went back to her room. She’s curled up on her side, still asleep, which is not a surprise. She’s a tired baby. I glance up at her from over my phone, and study the rise and fall of her chest. I can’t believe this is my life. That I get to do this. That I get to be a part of this.

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