Page 127 of Healed Hearts

“No.”

My stomach drops out. “No? What the fuck do you mean no? You said that if I—”

That’s all I get out before I’m being pushed onto my back and kissed to within an inch of my life. My fingers scrabble for purchase on Julian’s back as he kisses me so thoroughly that my toes curl. He pulls back. “I’m not going to fuck you, darlin’. I’m going to make love to you, yeah? No fucking. Not that.”

My heart soars as my stomach swoops. “Yes. Okay. Please?”

He searches my eyes. “Anything you want. Promise me you’ll tell me if you want to stop.”

I can’t imagine a single scenario where I would want to stop, but I love that he wants to make sure I’m okay. “I promise.”

He closes his eyes and swallows hard, and when he opens them again, they’re full of love. Love for me. Fuck. “It means so much to me that you trust me with this, Hold. God, I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too,” I murmur, pulling him to me and kissing him again. He lets me for a second, but then starts kissing his way down my jaw and along my neck. I tilt my head to the side, giving him better access. He adjusts until he can slide a hand under the back of my neck. Raising me up with his grip, he exposes more of my throat to him. I groan when he dips his tongue into the hollow of my throat.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good in my entire life. I’ve certainly never been this turned on. He works his way down my body, spending time sucking and licking my nipples before running his tongue over my belly button. My cock is so hard that it almost hurts. “Hurry up,” I whine, half-convinced that if he doesn’t get this show on the road, I’m gonna come untouched.

“Are you impatient, darlin’?”

I huff. “Yes. You’re killing me.”

He places a hand on my chest. “Pretty strong heartbeat for a dying man.”

“Julian,” I say, drawing his name out on a long moan when he dips his head and brushes his lips along my cock.

“Will you roll over?”

Don’t have to ask me twice. I flip over onto my stomach and rest my head on my arms. I tilt my hips back, positioning myself for him. He ignores that, choosing instead to give the same treatment to my back that he did my front. By the time that he’skissed each knot of my spine, my hips are rocking into the bed, and I’m damn near delirious with need. He pauses when he gets to my lower back, and I’m about to reassure him that I’m good when he groans. “These fucking back dimples.”

I bury my face in the pillow, mostly to stifle the giggle that wants to break free. He doesn’t even seem to notice. His lips touch my lower back and his stubble scrapes over my ass. My hips arch back as a gasp leaves my lips. “Please, Julian. Please.”

“Roll back over for me.” I roll onto my back and stare up at him. “Fuck,” he murmurs, his eyes squeezing closed before opening again and settling on my face.

“Areyouokay?” I ask, slightly worried that maybe he doesn’t want this.

“Oh, I’m so okay. You just… God, you’re so fucking gorgeous. Your hair’s a fucking wreck, Hold. All mussed and wild. And your eyes. God, don’t even get me started on your eyes.”

My lips quirk up in a smile as my heart flutters. “Please don’t make me wait anymore.”

He reaches over and grabs the lube, and once again, my stomach flips. I’m not nervous, though. I’m excited. So fucking excited.

I pull my legs back, exposing myself to Julian. His eyes don’t leave my face once. Not as he lubes his fingers. Not as he slides the first one inside of me. Not as he slowly works his way up to three. Not one single time. My chest is heaving, my heart pounding furiously in my chest, my cock leaking against my stomach. I’m pretty sure I’ve been moaning since the second he slid the first one into me. My entire fucking body is throbbing with pleasure, from the tips of my hair to my toes.

Julian drops a kiss on my lips. “Four, okay?”

“Four what?” I gasp.

“Four fingers, Hold. Not until you can take four.”

Jesus Christ. I’ll put my own in there if it hurries him the fuck up. “Fine. Four fingers.”

When he pushes the fourth in, there’s a little burn. I tense briefly, and he stops immediately. But when I relax around him and nod, he goes back to stretching me. “Fuck,” I groan, my body starting to tremble. “Now, Julian.”

He pulls his fingers free, then lies on his back. Pouring more lube into his palm, he strokes himself, coating his dick. “Come on, Hold. On top, so you can be in control.”

I straddle his hips. I expected to feel apprehension, but I don’t. I’m not worried about a single fucking thing, except for how likely I am to come immediately and embarrass myself.

He holds the base of his cock and I brace myself on his chest as I slowly lower myself onto him.

---