Page 124 of Healed Hearts

He presses his lips to my pulse point before brushing them back and forth. “They were fine with it. Happy for me. They love you and Wren.”

That makes me smile. I really like them too. “They’re great people.”

Holden hums. “Yeah, they are.”

I don’t really know what else to say, and my body is starting to grow heavy. Everything feels all warm and cozy and even though Holden’s scent isn’t right, he still feels so damn good in my arms. “I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Holden

We didn’t end up moving any of my stuff into Julian’s. His headspace was a lot better, but his body was still run down. Instead, we opted to have lazy days at home. We spent most of our time educating Wren on all the Disney Princesses she’d been missing out on with her obsession with a certain ice queen.

There was a lot of cuddling, midday naps, and time spent just enjoying being around each other. Overall, it was really nice. But neither of us really had the energy or the desire to get out of the house or our little bubble to go pack up the rest of my stuff. Notthat it really matters. I’ve been spending the majority of my time here for weeks anyway, so I’ve pretty much already taken over Julian’s closet.

This morning we got a call from the hospital about coming in for the results of everyone’s HLA testing, though, so now we’re loaded up in the car, heading to the hospital for what I sincerely hope is good news. I’m not sure how Julian is going to handle it if it’s not. He’s got an appointment with his doctor about something to help his anxiety, but he’s definitely not the slightest bit interested in taking any more Xanax. Not that I can blame him.

Julian reaches across the console and takes my hand, giving it a little squeeze. “It’s going to be good news, right?”

I squeeze his right back. “I hope so.”

Of course, I know it’s possible that none of us will be a match and even if one of us is, it’s still going to be a long road. I’m hopeful, though. And I genuinely have a feeling that everything is going to work out.

When we pull into the hospital, Julian takes a deep breath. I turn to him before we get out. “Are you alright?”

He nods. “Yeah, just trying to keep a level head. It’s all going to be okay.”

I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince me or himself. “You’re right. It’s all going to be okay.”

As we walk into the hospital, Wren is between us, one of her hands in Julian’s and the other in mine. She’s all smiles, and I wish I could bottle that resilience. It’s one thing I’m finding that I love about working in pediatrics. Even when these kids are down, fighting tough battles, sick and scared, they simply don’t give up. They have a tenacity that most adults could benefit from having. They don’t let things get them down. Not only that, but they almost always approach the world with a smile. That strength is admirable.

In no time, we’re checked in and waiting in a room. God, I hope we get good news. Julian and I sit beside the hospital bed Wren is currently occupying, watching her play a game on my phone. I may or may not have downloaded a coloring game for her. It was an ad that had popped up on her counting game, and God knows I couldn’t turn her down when she asked me to help her download it.

There’s a knock on the door, and I sit up straighter as Lydia and Dr. Mays come into the room.

Lydia has her signature smile on her face, but Dr. Mays is stoic. I don’t know why he dislikes me so much. I mean, yeah, I ripped his ass. But it’s my job to advocate for my patients, and he didn’t like me before that. I’d imagine it’s probably the very obviously gay thing. Beck is lucky in that he can hide if he wants to. Not that he does. He doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks of him.

Dr. Mays glances at the two of us. “As you know, we have some results from the HLA testing.” Julian tenses beside me.Please be good news. Please, please be good news. “You appear to be a match, Julian. You’re a fifty percent match, which means you can donate.”

It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this much kindness in Dr. Mays’ voice. And thank God because I’m so fucking relieved and stressed and all the emotions that I can’t handle another confrontation with him. Julian pats the couch beside him blindly, and it takes me a second to realize he’s looking for my hand. I reach over and give it to him. The second he twines his fingers with mine, he squeezes them half to death. “So, I’m a match? We can… it’ll work?”

Lydia gives him a soft smile as Dr. Mays continues, explaining what will have to happen to get her ready for transplant, the risks of not having a full one hundred percent match, and how the healing process will be. I zone him out because my mindis racing. Julian is a match, which means that when Wren gets this transplant, she’ll be in the hospital for close to two months, at minimum. I can’t work my normal hours and still be here for them. “Lydia.” Dr. May’s stops talking, sneering at me for interrupting him. “Sorry about that. Lydia, can I talk to you in the hall?”

She nods. Turning to Julian, I give his hand a gentle squeeze and pull mine free. “I’ll be right back.” I drop a kiss to his head as I stand, then follow Lydia out the door.

“Are you okay, love?”

I nod. “Yeah, I… uh… I think I need to take time off work. How do I do that? I know I haven’t been here long. But I have some PTO. Is there anything else I can do after that’s used?”

She grins. “Well, I’m the charge nurse, love. So I can make sure you get the time off you need. When do you want to start?”

“As soon as she’s hospitalized. I need to be here for them. I can’t do that and work my current schedule.”

She nods, pulling me into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Holden. I’ll make sure you get your time off. Do you want me to stop scheduling you, or do you want to use your PTO?”

I have quite a big nest egg saved up. Waste not, want not and all that. Plus, Beck won’t take a single penny from me. So truthfully, it doesn’t matter to me either way. “I’ll save the PTO, if you’re sure it won’t be a problem.”

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