Page 115 of Healed Hearts

He stirs, his fingers briefly tightening, causing a sharp sting to explode over my scalp. I like it. It, too, reminds me that I’m here. “Julian?” His sleep-drenched voice is quiet, a balm to my fucking soul. God, I need this man like I’ve needed nothing else in my entire life.

“I need you.” My voice is a soft whimper, all pain and desperation. It would embarrass the hell out of me if I was in the right state of mind. I’m not used to feeling this way. I don’t like this.

Holden doesn’t miss a beat. He pushes me to my back and climbs up my body, settling himself in my arms. I haul him closer to me, burying my face in his wild waves, breathing him in, and losing myself in his scent.Fuck.“Are you okay?” he asks.

I don’t know. I think I am.I want to be.

Instead of focusing on my internal turmoil, I focus on him: the soft weight of him, the warmth of his skin, and the way his waves tickle my nose. I let my hands drag up his back, feeling the supple skin beneath my palms. He shivers, shifting on top of me. I want to live under his skin. I want him to be a part of me. “Please,” I whisper. Even though I’m not sure what I’m asking for. God, my head is a fucking mess.

“Please what, Jules?”

Fuck, I don’t know.Can’t he see that I don’t know? That I just need him to ground me? That I need him to hold me down and make me feel like I’m part of this world and not whatever world I’m slipping into in my own mind? He pulls back, green eyes colliding with mine, the worry and fear impossible to miss. Slowly, so slowly, I slide my hands over his skin until I’m cradling his head, his soft hair brushing my fingers. I pull him closer until his lips crash with mine. A soft noise echoes through the room, and I’m lost—drowning in him all over again. Always fucking drowning.

He’s somehow the reason I’m floating and also the reason I can’t breathe. He braces himself above me, his tongue mapping my mouth—his soft whimpers pouring into me, settling under my bones.

I pull back, just enough to speak against his lips. “I need you inside me.”

He draws in a shaky breath. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to regret anything. You’re in a strange place emotionally right now.”

I nod frantically. “Please. I could never, ever regret you or anything we do together.”

He raises up and peers down at me, his eyes searching mine. “Okay.”

With a soft smile, he brings his lips back to mine, kissing me until I’m breathless, until I’m on fire—burning up from the inside out.

It’s gentle—slow—the way he works his way down my body, lips and tongue and teeth exploring. His fingers drag along my skin, making goosebumps rise in their wake. He stretches me unhurriedly, driving me mad with his gentle, insistent touches. When he finally lines up and sinks into my body, my brain goes offline. He’s all I can see and all I can feel—his breath against myskin, the sheen of sweat on his body as he lies against me, the way he gasps and groans, his lips pressed against my chest.

I’m so full of him I can barely breathe, let alone talk. He has no such problem. He whispers to me in the dark as he takes me apart second by second, putting me back together again with softly spoken words about how much he loves me, how much he needs me, and how good I feel. How happy he is that I’m his and he’s mine.

His hand finds mine, and he twines our fingers together, holding me hostage in his grip as his hips undulate and send me higher. When I come, it’s with a relieved sob that seems to rip itself from my very core.

We lie quietly together, his softening cock still buried in my body. He starts to pull back, and I hold him in place with a hand on his ass. “Stay.”

He lets out a soft sigh. “I’m not leaving you. Just gonna get us cleaned up.”

I shake my head. “Inside. Stay inside.”

He pauses for a second, but ultimately lies back against my chest, our bodies molding together. More tears fall from my eyes, dripping down my temples and into my hair.

Holden draws mindless shapes on my chest with his fingertips as my eyes grow heavier and heavier. It’s no time at all before I’m drifting back to sleep.

The next time I open my eyes, it’s with the sun streaming through my windows. I take stock of myself and my body. I feel kinda eh. Not great. Still a little groggy and strange. Fuck, it’s a good thing that Wren isn’t up yet, considering I’m covered in cum and completely naked, Holden’s familiar weight stillpressing me into the bed, his morning erection poking against my tender ass. I give him a little shake. “Holden.”

He grumbles, shaking his head back and forth against my chest. I almost want to laugh, but we really have to get up because I have zero idea how much time we’ll have to get presentable. “Hold,” I say again.

He jolts awake, sitting up quickly, his eyes darting around like he’s not really sure where he is. When they finally settle on mine, they widen. “Oh shit. Where’s Wren?” He jumps out of bed so quickly that his legs get tangled in the blankets, and he falls to the ground with a crash and a groan. “Fuck. Me.”

I lean over the side of the bed to help him up. I don’t think I ate dinner last night because the movement makes my head go a little woozy. With the help of his grip on my arm, he pulls himself to his feet. “What the fuck. Why did you throw me out of bed?”

My jaw drops open. “I definitely did not throw you out of bed. You threw yourself out of bed.”

He glances around in confusion. “Yeah, I needed to check on Wren.”

“I can do it,” I say, already trying and failing to stand. Damn. My legs are really shaky. I’m not sure what that’s all about.

Holden shakes his head. “No. I’ll do it, okay? Just lie back down. I’ll be right back.”

I don’t want him to feel burdened by my inability to take care of Wren. It’s not his job to do it. He must see something in my expression because he leans in, cupping my face in his hands before planting a chaste kiss on my lips. “I want to, Jules. Relax, okay? I’ll be right back.”

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