Page 79 of Breaking You Open

But maybe Aaron can.

My gaze drops, and he steps close enough for his toes to touch mine. Then he raises a hand, cups my chin, and tilts my face up to look into his eyes. Tears stream down my cheeks—silent tears, heavy with the weight of my many burdens.

“What are you doing here, little Sparrow?” His low, dark voice slithers into my ears.

I make a choked sound, helpless to my tears, helpless to the beat of my heart, helpless to the last, quivering thread of longing that connects me to this man. I thought I had snapped it for good. I thought I had weaved another kind of thread, but the thread to Aaron proves itself stronger than whatever delusional part of me thought I’d tied myself to Louis.

As if he read my thoughts, Aaron says, “Did you think that big oaf could replace me?”

“You’ve been wa-wa-watching me?” I ask, my beating heart disrupting my ability to speak without my stutter.

“Yeah, I’ve been watching you, little Sparrow. Or should I say, little slut? I saw you let that big oaf eat your face in front of everyone at the rave.”

So he was there. I truly did see him at Mumphrey Hill. I wasn’t going crazy.

“Been watching you other places too,” Aaron says.

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. I don’t want to know.

“Not that any of that shit matters,” Aaron says, licking his lips. “I know what you really need. You need someone to hurt you—to smack some sense into your worthless mind. You can’t escape it.”

A high-pitched whine burrows its way into my throat, and I can’t say no, can’t say yes. I can’t think. Can’t move. Can’t speak.

Louis told me once that he doesn’t deserve me, but I’m the one who doesn’t deservehim. What I deserve stands right before me. His cold hands are wiping away my tears, his dark smile the one and only relief granted to me.

But then I remember Louis glancing at me as I watched TV in his apartment, and I remember the fond smile on his lips that he tried but failed to hide.

I remember his tender care as he stretched me open to take his cock for the first time.

I remember the food he fed me without expecting anything in return.

I remember his encouragement, his warmth, his weight pressing me down on the mattress and shielding me from the world.

Maybe he’s not as perfect as I first thought. Maybe he’s capable of making mistakes, just like everyone else. Perhaps more than most. He was careless when trying to get Nathan Antler under him, but not a single person in this world is perfect at all times, and I don’t need him to be perfect.

I just need him to be mine. I just need him to claim me as his.

I’m scared of a lot of things, but he’s scared too, even though he doesn’t seem like it. And even though he might try to convince himself otherwise, he cares for me, the way Aaron never did.

My tears stop falling, and my hands clench into fists, my body shaking from head to toe.

“I don’t need you,” I grit out. “It’s you who needs me.”

Aaron’s hand loosens its hold for a moment, but then it tightens so hard and so suddenly that I gasp. He rips me to my feet, his freakishly light eyes blazing with fury.

“What did you just say?”

“I said,” I gasp, airflow halfway cut off by his hand, “I don’t need you. You’re the one who needs me, and that’s the way it’s always been.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Aaron snarls. “You’re a weak, cowardly boy who no one has ever loved but me.”

“Don’t make me laugh.” By some miracle, my voice holds—not a hint of fear, stutter, or hesitation. “You loved the control you had over me. Nothing more.”

His smile doesn’t budge, but a muscle in his jaw twitches. “You’re coming with me.”

“No. I’m not.”

I wish I had the gun Louis taught me how to shoot. I wish I had the strength and courage to take Aaron on with nothing but my fists. But despite everything, he still scares the shit out of me. Despite everything, I can’t do this on my own. I need someone; I need Louis.

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