Page 50 of Breaking You Open

I turn around to hide my smile from Ravi. “He’s…strange.” Wonderful but strange.

“Seems pretty normal to me,” Ravi says, gesturing with an unlit joint. “A little shy, but you’d know what that’s like, wouldn’t you, Louis?”

I scowl into the grill as I watch the burgers bleed. “I’m not shy.”

“Yeah, right,” Ravi says, and I hear the grin in his voice. “You just hate people. Got it.”

I send him a backward glance, showing him my canines in a half snarl, half smile. Fucking Ravi. Always the expert at making me feel annoyed and at peace at the same time. It’s a strange combination—one he’s unique at bringing forth. With Sparrow, on the other hand, I feel endeared and horny, and I don’t know what’s better. If nothing else, I know what’s more unnerving.

I glance into the living room again, watching Sparrow’s enraptured expression as he cradles his cheeks in his hands, his full attention on the TV screen.

“There’s…something up with him,” I say, surprised at the words coming out of my mouth unbidden.

“Something up with him? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It doesn’t seem like he knows a lot about…about sex.” Heat rushes to my neck, and I look away. Why do I feel embarrassed talking about this with Ravi? I don’t fucking care. It’s not like we haven’t joked around about the people we have sex with before, and Ravi is well known for picking up women left and right. None of those conversations were serious though.

This one is.

Ravi sits up straighter. “Look, man, if you want my advice, you gotta be a little less vague, okay? I can’t be talking in riddles and shit.”

“He doesn’t know about consent.”

“What, he tried to rape you or something?” Ravi says with a startled laugh.

“It’s not funny,” I shoot back at him.

“Well … what did he do?”

“Doesn’t matter what he did.”

“It kind of does.”

“Just shut up and tell me what I should do.”

Ravi gives me a blank look. “Well…have you tried explaining it to him?”

I give a half shrug.

“… And?”

“He said he wouldn’t care if I fucked him while he was sleeping, even if we hadn’t talked about it first.”

“Well, yeah, he toldmehe wouldn’t care if you hurt him, so it checks out.”

“But I don’t want to hurt him.” My eyes fall shut, and the burning sensation in my chest has nothing to do with the heat from the grill.

“I know,” Ravi says, quietly for once. “Jokes aside, I’d say you just need to talk to him about it.”

That’s what I thought. Grimacing, I turn the burger patties with more force than necessary.

“I know it’s not your strong suit,” Ravi drawls.

“You’re not helping,” I mutter.

He sighs. “Okay, fine.” He brings his unlit joint to his mouth and flicks the lighter. “Shit like this, it’s complicated, okay, and it’s not exactly my strong suit. But one thing I’d say is that the kid seems kinda scarred. He’s probably got some learned behavior and some weird beliefs about sex and stuff. I’d bet my left nut it has to do with his ex.”

“Yeah.” That’s what I thought.

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