Page 23 of Paranoia

“I don’t think I’ve ever been told that before.” As he said it, Rob realized it was because not many people had ever even heard him laugh.

CHAPTER 35

I WAS BACK home by a reasonable hour. That’s not always possible on my job. I’m not whining about it. There’s nothing to whine about. Duty sometimes dictates that I stay much later than I’ve expected. For all of his crazy antics, my grandfather, Seamus, taught me the importance of duty. “Feeling passionate about something that helps society.” That’s how he used to explain duty to me. We have a duty to our families, to our friends, and usually to our jobs. Certainly, not everyone agreed with me.

It was still daylight, but just barely, when I walked through the front door. Most of my crew was sitting at the dining room table doing homework. They were almost lined up according to age. Chrissy, Shawna, Bridget, Fiona, and Ricky were all on one side of the table. Trent and Eddie sat on the other side. Jane walked around the back of each kid like a proctor during a test.But she would stop and help when she saw someone with a problem. It was good to have a brainiac in the family.

Everyone looked up and said some form of “Hey, Dad,” in unison. I didn’t want to destroy the atmosphere, so I walked around the table and kissed each of the seated kids on the top of his or her head. Then I gave Jane a kiss on her cheek.

I stepped into the kitchen, where Juliana was preparing some kind of casserole. It smelled delicious.

“Hey, Dad. Mary Catherine is doing great. But she keeps trying to get up to do things. Jane and I wrestled her back to bed, but we think you need to talk to her.”

It had been only a couple of days, but it felt like my whole world had been turned upside down. Usually it was Mary Catherine telling me I needed to talk to one of the kids. Now the kids were telling me that I needed to keep Mary Catherine in line. It was going to take me some time to get used to this new dynamic.

Juliana stopped what she was doing to face me. “Mary Catherine also tells me that you invited Rob Trilling to come over for dinner Sunday night.”

“I did, and he surprised me by accepting my offer.” I studied my oldest daughter’s face a little more closely. “It’s not a problem, is it? You keep telling me you guys are just friends.”

Juliana avoided my eyes but said, “It’s no problem. I just needed to know the head count. I was going to have Ricky make pasta. He thinks working on an Italian dish might help his chances of getting on that crazy cooking show.”

“Sounds great. We’ll have the whole crowd, and I’m sure my grandfather will show up as well.”

On cue, Seamus walked through the front door. I noticed hegot a slightly more enthusiastic greeting than I had. Several of the kids jumped up from the dining room table to give him hugs. I could see why he liked coming over as often as he did.

He declared, in his best Irish brogue, “I thought I was coming over to drag order out of chaos. Instead, I find each of my great-grandchildren doing exactly what they are supposed to do. What a blessing.”

He posed each kid a specific question. He asked Fiona how she was doing on the basketball team. He asked Ricky about the status of his application to the TV show. When Seamus stepped into the kitchen, he even asked Juliana how her audition had gone this morning. Something I wasn’t even aware of. My grandfather had a better line on the kids than I did sometimes.

Juliana looked at me in the kitchen and said, “You’ve got enough to worry about. This was just for an understudy role in an upcoming play.”

“How do you think you did?”

A sly smile slid across her face. “I crushed it.”

Seamus saw Juliana’s confidence and said, “I tell you what, these kids are all superstars. I can’t wait to see Juliana on the screen, Jane in the operating room, Brian running his own air-conditioning company. I think I’ve done a great job with these kids.”

I chuckled and said, “I’m sure Mary Catherine and I had no part in it.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, my boy. You provide them with a roof over their heads and three meals a day. I’m happy you’ve been able to manage that.”

His smile made him look like an evil, taller leprechaun. And I loved him for it.

CHAPTER 36

AFTER OUR DINNER of beef casserole and fresh green beans, which we all ate while perched around the bedroom, we settled in to watch TV with Mary Catherine. Somehow, even with all the kids and my grandfather stuffed into the bedroom, it didn’t feel crowded. It felt comfortable. I loved it. I could tell by my grandfather’s face that he loved it too.

The boys were serious about making him relaxed. Ricky, Trent, and Eddie somehow managed to muscle one of the recliners from the living room to the doorway of the bedroom. Even though he was half in and half out of the bedroom, Seamus looked completely at ease, stretched out in the leather recliner.

Everyone was excited to watch another episode ofRising Chefs,the show Ricky had applied to be on. Ricky sat right in the middle of the crowd of kids at the foot of our bed. He was enjoying being the center of attention at home, for however long it lasted.

Ricky got up and began to mimic the host, Gino Carmelli. He did a pretty good imitation of the man’s gesticulating arms and heavy Brooklyn Italian accent. “Yo, if you wanna make the perfect lasagna, you havta soak the noodles beforehand. My dear nonna, God rest her soul, taught me this when I was only eight months old. But the lesson, it stuck with me.”

I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Ricky quite so animated in front of everyone. I got an even bigger surprise when my oldest son, Brian, stood up.

He went right into the accent as well. “Then, when I was two years old, my mamma taught me the secrets of a great gravy. You need fresh tomatoes. If someone tries to tell you to use canned, stewed tomatoes you just tell them fuggetabouit.”

He had all the syllables just right. Mary Catherine started to laugh so hard as she drank, some water came out of her nose. Even then she was laughing too hard to completely hide it.

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