My feet were so heavy it seemed my boots were made from lead. But I forced myself to keep walking, to keep my eyes on that tent flap and the freedom it now symbolized.
Freedom for her.
Torment for me—but what choice did I have? She was my mate. I couldn’t keep her imprisoned. And the moment I had myback turned, any of these males might come for her. I couldn’t fighttwowars.
If the King wanted to see me humbled, well, the loss of the prisoner would do it. And if that meant she was finally safe…
It felt as if two hands gripped my skull, trying to force my head to turn back, to look at her, to drink her in before I stepped out of the tent. But I braced myself and kept my eyes ahead, slipping out into the sunlight, nodding at Jann’s questioning look as if I hadn’t understood what it meant, then striding forward and away. Towards the campfires. And breakfast.
And the rest of my life with a gaping hole in my soul.
.
The communal eating area at the center of camp was usually bustling with Nephilim at any time of day. We were an army with patrols and duties around the clock. Our kitchen never closed. There were multiple fires, multiple stations at which a Neph could be served hot food. And a large area full of tables, stools and even stumps of wood to be used as seats for when things were really busy.
But this morning the dining area was almost empty. In the thin sunlight of an autumn morning, there were only a handful of Nephilim awake and eating, spread out at the many tables and stools. Which meant it was quiet. And not nearly distracting enough.
I started questioning my decision to free her the moment we made it to the campfires. The servants—heavy-lidded andmumbling, dragged from their beds to make the meal—served us, then dropped back to their seats next to the fires.
So, Jann and I took a table in the middle where no one else would hear our conversation.
He spoke lightly of the events of the night before, describing pranks, drunk stupidity, and amusing anecdotes I didn’t really follow, but made myself smile when Jann laughed.
I kept finding myself looking off to the right, in the direction of my tent, wondering if she was already gone.
It was the perfect time to attempt an escape. The guards would be few, and tired. And focused on any attempting to get in to camp, not out of it. With her skills in the shadows, she could probably turn them in circles, or slip past without them even realizing she’d been close—
“Mel!” Jann snapped.
I blinked and turned back to him. “What?”
Jann arched one brow, looked pointedly down at my untouched plate, then back up to me. “I thought you were hungry?”
I was. But not for food.
“Sure, sure,” I mumbled, dropping my head and digging into the food. “I was just distracted. I guess I’m a little hungover after all,” I lied.
I thought I did a fairly good job of engaging with him from that point. But my thoughts never stopped turning to her and where she might be. I managed to stay away from the tent for a full thirty minutes, but by then we’d both finished eating and Jann was talking about washing up.
Shying away from any mention of bathing, I clasped his arm and bid him to have a peaceful day, then turned to the trail that would eventually take me through the camp and back to my tent at its edge.
“Mel?”
I stopped, just one pace away and turned.
Jann was staring at me strangely. “Aren’t you going to take her some food?”
Shit.“Yes, yes. Of course. I’m just—”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just tired, as I said,” I muttered, clapping his back in thanks as I hurried past him, back to the fires to get another platter.
He watched me for a moment, but I pretended I didn’t notice as I asked a servant to dish a plate for her and took it, turning back to the trail and raising my chin to him as I passed between the tents and out of his sight… then slumped.
Surely she had to be gone by now?
My heart panged, and my steps dragged. But I had nowhere else to be. And I needed some time to plan my strategy for telling Gault she’d escaped.