I woke with a start, sweaty and throbbing for release, panting, but every instinct at alert.
I was blinking, ears perked, the hair on the back of my neck standing straight up, and for a moment I was disoriented,coming out of the dream, uncertain what had been real and what was only my mind.
Was she toying with my mind again?
But then I heard her whimper my name and that plea—not one of need, but of fear. And my blood ran cold.
I leaped out of bed, searching the shadows, looking for the enemy… but found only the cage… and Yilan curled up like a child on the cot, shaking and whimpering.
“No… no…” she gasped in a small, broken voice that tore my heart to shreds.
“No… Melek—help me! Please!”
Her head shook and she lashed out feebly with one hand as if she was fighting for freedom, and it clicked.
We’d both been dreaming—but hers wasn’t like mine.
“Yilan, wake up! It’s a dream!” I tore across the tent, yanking back on the lock and scrambling into the cage to reach her, shaking her, pulling her upright, holding her as her head shook and she shrank from whatever she saw behind her closed eyes. “Yilan…Yilan!”
Her eyes flew open, so wide they were white all the way around, and her body jolted. She reached for me as if to push me away—but when her hands landed on my chest she froze, her eyes darting, blinking, as the dream faded.
Squatting next to her cot, I held her face, made her see me, whispered that it was a dream, and pleaded for her to come back to see that she was safe, that I was there, that she wouldn’t be touched…
And then she blinked. And finally, her eyes focused. She locked on me and blinked again and I stroked her hair.
“It was a dream. It was a dream, beautiful. Just a dream.”
She frowned hard, then tore her eyes away to look around the tent, obviously needing to see that we were truly alone, beforeturning back to me. And then her eyes welled, and her chin trembled.
“You’re safe,” I whispered. “Just breathe. You’re safe.”
My heart broke for her as she slumped, curling her body up, dropping her face in her hands. She covered her mouth to stifle a sob, then tipped forward right into my chest. Into my arms.
The relief that washed through me when she sank into me was intoxicating in its intensity. For a moment I just held her.
But then another sob broke in her throat and she trembled, and I closed my eyes, my heart squeezing and swelling in equal measure.
Then I cursed and gathered her to my chest as I stood as tall as I could in the cage, then carried her out, holding her as tightly as I dared.
When I reached the bed, I loosened my hold, intending to lay her down, to get her a drink of water, or something. But she inhaled sharply and clung to my neck, trembling in waves.
Whatever she’d been seeing in her mind had obviously been dark. She was terrified. I couldn’t let her go.
So, I crawled up onto the bed and laid down, still holding her, curling myself around her and bringing my wing over her to cover her completely from view as she sobbed against my chest.
I stroked her hair and reminded her that I was there. That she was safe.
And that I would not let any of them touch her. Not once.
Never again.
As her shoulders shook, her tears wet my collarbones. I wrapped my arms more tightly around her, and sighed, finding a new clarity in myself.
I would protect her. There was no doubt. But that didn’t change the fact that if anything were to happen to me, she would be left vulnerable.
We both knew it.
She was haunted by dreams of events that were not unrealistic in this camp. And as much as I despised it, I could not deny that truth.