Something in him tightened, and his face went harder if that was possible.
But he leaned down and cupped my face with one hand. When he spoke, his voice was a soft growl.
“I knowexactlywhat type oftalkI would expect to have if I had been separated from my bond-vowed and we had both been in danger.” His fingers curled in, his nails just a hairsbreadth from hurting on my cheek.
I gripped his wrist. “That isnotthe kind of conversation I will be having with him,” I said bluntly.
“You told me you had no mate.”
“And I didn’t, until you,” I said earnestly. “We are—wewerebond-vowed. Intended. Betrothed. Whatever you want to call it.”
“And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?”
“Not when I’d already decided not to take him,” I said honestly.
He grunted, his eyes shadowed, but I saw the barest hint of hope in his gaze. “Are you lying to me, Yilan? Making me a fool?”
I wanted to weep, and shook my head. Stepping closer to him. “No. And I never would. Melek, our bond is real and true and…precious.”
“And yet, you were promised to someone else.”
“I am almost thirty. I amyearspast the age of taking a mate in our culture. It was… I thought I’d never find you.”
He just stared at me, but his thumb stroked up and down on my cheek.
I gripped his wrist tighter and the front of his shirt with my other hand. “Melek, there is nothing in this world that I want less than to belittle you. Can’t you see that?” I breathed.
He was so tense, the flat plane of his chest feeling like warm steel under my hand.
He stared deep into my eyes, and a low rumble began in that chest. I leaned in harder.
“Please, Melek. I’m not—”
“I have to find Gall today. I have to take him with me when I go to the front.”
I blinked at the sudden shift in subject. But he didn’t move away from me, so neither did I.
“Why? You said—”
“He is trained to fight, and I fear when I leave—and Ihaveto leave tomorrow, Yilan—that someone may try to use him against me.”
My headspunwith the arguments, points, and sheerfactsthat he resisted when he spoke about his King. But as I tried to figure out which to raise first, I hesitated.
He looked so pained. So afraid—but always for me, or for Gall. Even for Jann. His fear was never spent on himself.
It was half the reason I loved him.
With a heavy sigh, I reached up to take his face and draw him down to me. He resisted for a moment.
“Melek,please,”I whispered. “We only have hours. Please… believe me. We will both leave tomorrow. But I’m not going until you do.”
“I think I believe that you want no one but me,” he muttered sullenly. “My question remains of what he’ll expect when you are… reunited.”
I shook my head. “You know I’d never taken him before. And I won’t. His expectations, if he has any, won’t matter. Because I’ll tell him that I’m mated. I have no qualms over telling anyonethat, Melek—when we’re both safe. I waited to keep everyone, all of us,safe.”
He was searching my eyes as I spoke, but on that last word, he groaned and dropped his head to kiss me, wrapping his arms around me.
He was trembling.