Page 30 of Poison

"It's not your fault, Alex. It's mine."

"It's not your fault. You were far beyond the line of consent. You were plastered, and I shouldn't have done that, and I'm begging for your forgiveness... And I know damned well I don't deserve it." Alex poured me another drink without asking.

"Seriously, there is nothing to forgive."

"I'm no better than the people who pay to take advantage of you." He downed his drink and poured another. "I'm just as sick and twisted as those fucks."

Sighing, I stood up and walked around the desk, resting a hand on his shoulder. "You saved my life last night, Alex."

When he gave me a questioning look, I returned to my seat and released a heavy sigh. "If you had rejected me, I may have tried to find a way to kill myself." Alex just stared and waited for me to continue. "You're right. You weren't my first choice. I wanted Vic, but he turned me down."

"As he should have!" Alex interrupted.

"Can I fucking finish what I was saying?"

He nodded.

"Something happened at Top Hill. I ran into someone who is partially responsible for why I am in shackles. He told me that when the new club is built, he's going to make sure I fuck the nastiest men available over and over again until I am so used up even Hobbs won't want me." I finished my drink, silently tapping the rim to indicate that I needed another. "At first, I didn't think that was a bad thing. Hell, half the reason I drink and snort so much Nova is because I want to ruin myself. I keep hoping that one day, all my teeth will fall out, or my eyes will get so sunken that Hobbs won't want me anymore... but Lucien made me realize that I have no choice in what I do. Ever since I met Trevor, I have had no choice in who I sleep with, and it's killing me. Slowly, day by day, it's draining the life out of me. I needed a choice." I stared intently into Alex's dark brown eyes. "I didn't choose you because you were my only option. I chose you because I feel safe with you. I know I always take it for granted, but you make me feel safe. You gave me my own booth so I could choose who was around me. You kick people out when they scare me and never let them come back. You let Vic leave work to make sure I got home safe. You never crossed the line." I shrugged. "Maybe you did a little last night. But I forgive you. I mean, come on, it's me. I have a way of getting men to do what I want, and last night I wanted dick.

"I came to you because you were safe. And right now, you just proved you are safe. You didn't dismiss me or treat me like trash when I came here today. You're practically begging for my forgiveness, and that shows me that you would never intentionally hurt me, and that means everything, Alex. Thank you. And yes, I forgive you."

After taking a long drink, Alex gently set the glass back down and smiled. Not a creepy smile, just a simple, soft smile. "I appreciate your forgiveness, but it will take a bit before I can forgive myself."

"It better be in the next five fucking minutes. I don't want this to make things weird between us."

His expression stretched into a grin. "Perhaps I can earn my own forgiveness. I spoke to Vic the other night about getting you away from Hobbs. He told me a bit of your story. Just enough for me to know you were arrested for aggravated assault. That carries a hefty fine, but you've been in for years. So, I figure you can't owe that much more. I can forgive your debt, and you could be free."

I leaned forward, listening intently. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I couldn't help it.

"Vic told me a client offered twenty thousand sinders for your time. Legally, a sponsor has to put ten percent towards the debt of any payment they take. If Hobbs had taken the twenty thousand, that would be two thousand sinders towards your debt." Alex's expression was very serious. "If thatis the kind of money you bring in, your debt should have been paid years ago."

I sucked in a shocked breath. Was that true? Was my debt over? Granted, I didn't know exactly how much Hobbs charged for my time, but I wasn't cheap. He was constantly calling me his top earner. I knew he paid his other actors at least one thousand sinders a film. If that was my rate, I should have an impressive backlog. Not to mention the private clients; they paid much more than a lousy thousand sinders.

"Well, what do I do?" My voice shook.

"That's the catch. We have two problems here. Luckily, I can find out how much your fine was. That is public knowledge. However, Hobbs is a powerful man. Clearly, he has friends in high places since he was able to get permits to build on Top Hill. I also doubt he is turning in his actual earnings, which is why no red flags have been thrown up. I'm sure he has someone laundering money for him. That means in the eyes of the law, you still owe a substantial debt, which is why you still aren't free."

I slouched back into the chair. "What do I do?"

"The only thing you can do is try and find a paper trail. Real records. Being a true businessman, he knows where all of his money comes from, and he will have kept all records. If you can get them, even his friends on Top Hill won't be able to save him. If your debt was paid, you wouldn't be a servant anymore. You're a slave, and slavery is highly illegal." He chuckled, "I can't imagine the debt for that is cheap. You may be able to own him by the time this is all said and done."

Was I a slave? Did I pay off my debt years ago? Trevor always said he owned me. Was he ever going to let me go?

I didn't know what to do. What could I do? How the fuck was I ever going to get my records? I always stayed in my own apartment and hadn't been in Hobbs' part of the building for years. The only time I went down there was when he wanted to share a meal with me. Then we would usually fuck, or he'd make me fuck someone else, and that was that. I'd get sent right back to my apartment.

Sure, I knew a lot of his passwords. I even knew the code for his pad. The problem was that he had security. They wouldn't let me inside without Trevor's prior permission. Or... they might. They knew very well I was Trevor's favorite play toy. "I'll try."

"Good. I also have something in the works, but Vic may have thrown a wrench in it."

I arched my brow. "How?"

"I want to do some digging, but I need his help. Too many red flags would be raised if I did it myself."

"You got his address?"

Alex groaned, "I can't give that information out to you, Isaac."

Crossing my arms, I gave him a bratty sneer. "I was at his place before. He won't know you gave it to me. Even if he doesn't come back here, I still owe it to him to at least talk." I didn't want to use the word "apologize" because it would upset Alex. According to him, I was completely innocent during the events of the prior night. I wasn't. I refused to be the victim in that case. If I turned myself into one, I lost the choice I tried to make. I was holding on to that, come hell or high water. It was mine. I did it. I chose.

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