Page 42 of Just the Beginning

She pressed her body into his. ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, I don’t even know if I can be with anyone else, but I want to try. I could spend months hovering on the edge of this, dipping a toe in now and then, but the only way I’ll know is if I dive right in.’

Though her words were bold and brave, he could hear the tremor in her voice. He wanted to drag her against him, lose himself in the promised heat in her eyes, the soft tempting curves of her body, but he had to be sure this was the right thing. ‘And what if you find out the water’s too deep?’

She raised a hand to caress his cheek. ‘Then I trust you to pull me back into the shallows.’

Rick turned his head to press a kiss to the tips of her fingers. ‘You can always trust me.’ He would do right by her if it killed him, and if the tightness of his trousers was anything to go by, it might just. But tonight wasn’t about him, it was about them, it was about Anya and respecting her need to do this. ‘I know somewhere we can go.’

They didn’t speak much for the rest of their walk back. Inside, Rick was at war with himself. Anya deserved the best that he could give her – a soft bed, champagne, romance – but her fingers played up and down over the back of his hand, teasing and tempting with how good they would feel on other parts of his body. By the time they reached the car it was hard tothink straight. He unlocked it, but didn’t immediately open the passenger door. ‘Anya…’

She reached up and pressed a finger to his lips. ‘There are a hundred reasons not to do this, I know, but those all belong to the woman who is scared to care about someone again, who is worried about her child, who doesn’t have any idea how she’s going to turn her life around. I don’t want to be her, not right now. I want to be the woman I see when you look at me. Beautiful, confident, desired and desiring.’

Unable to stop himself, Rick reached out and cupped her neck, the hot silk of her hair gliding over his fingers like a caress. ‘Youarebeautiful, Anya.’ As he drew her towards him, he bent his head to press a kiss to the pulse point on her neck. ‘The most beautiful woman in the world.’ He breathed the words against her skin, felt her shiver against him, and his doubts about whether it was too soon were no match for the need thundering in his blood. ‘You are all I’ve wanted, all I’ve dreamed about. It was always you. Only you.’ He traced his lips up her throat, capturing her mouth when she turned her head to meet his. Her hands raised to clutch at his shoulders as they kissed, his own pulling her closer still. The contrast of the hard metal of the car at his back and the soft curves of her body fitting against the front of him was intoxicating.

Laughter burst in the distance, shocking them both apart. Rick scanned the car park, but there was no one in sight. He looked down at Anya, her hair rumpled from his fingers, her lower lip plump from the pressure of his mouth, and it was all he could do to yank open the door instead of grabbing hold of her again. ‘Get in.’

While Anya settled herself, Rick opened his window and fiddled with the radio until he could find something soothing and mellow. He turned the sound down low, enough to fill thesilence without being overwhelming. When he glanced over, Anya had her head back against the seat, her eyes closed. He looked down at where her hands rested in her lap, saw the way she was gripping them together, and he knew what he had to do.Take her home. Not saying a word, Rick put the car into gear and began to drive.

The roads were quiet and it didn’t take long before they were back in Halfmoon Quay. It was only as he turned into the top of the road where his aunt and uncle lived that Anya stirred beside him. ‘I thought…’

Rick pulled into an empty space half in the glow of a street lamp and stopped. He turned off the engine and released his seat belt so he could turn to face her properly. ‘I meant everything I said to you earlier, and you don’t know how hard it was for me to bring you straight back here.’

In the amber glow of the light he could see the confusion on her face, the hurt and disappointment. ‘Then why?’

‘Because I promised that you could trust me. Because I know you have doubts about this, and I never ever want to make you regret anything when it comes to us.’

She reached a beseeching hand towards him and he took it. ‘But I want to be with you.’

He nodded. ‘I know, and I want to be with you too. So much I could punch myself in the face right now.’ Her pretty laugh did much to break the tension between them. ‘But not in a snatched moment because that’s what our circumstances dictate right now.’ He didn’t mention the things she’d said about being scared, being worried for Freya and confused about her life, but they weighed heavy on him. ‘My body might feel like that of a stupid, horny teenager right now, but my head says no. My heart says not yet.’

She heaved a sigh that sounded like it had been dragged upfrom her toes. ‘You are the most lovely, most infuriatingly thoughtful man I know.’

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘Can I take you for lunch one day next week? We can park up at one of the lookout points.’

‘Will lunch involve some kisses at least?’

‘Lots and lots, I promise.’ Leaning forward, he traced her jaw with his thumb, relishing the way she automatically arched towards him. As their lips touched, a sense of certainty settled deep within his core. When the time was right, when her doubts and worries had faded and he’d proved to her she truly could trust him, then he knew they’d be magnificent together. For now, he’d settle for this.

And lots and lots of cold showers.

22

Her aunt and uncle’s house was in darkness apart from a muted glow behind the curtains of one of the upstairs bedrooms. Anya quietly eased the side gate open and closed as she let herself into the garden. Her stealthy route to the summer house was somewhat ruined when she triggered the security light and the entire rear of the house and garden were lit up. She hurried down the path to find Chloe already waiting with the summer house door open. ‘Hello, did you have a nice time?’

‘Yes, it was lovely, thank you. Any problems here?’

Chloe shook her head as she stepped aside to let her in. ‘Nope. Freya went to bed about an hour and a half ago and I haven’t heard a peep from her. I looked in not long ago and she was crashed out.’

‘Thank you again for looking after her.’

Her cousin beamed. ‘It was my pleasure. Really, I had an absolute blast. Any time you want me to sit for you, just say the word.’

‘Thanks, well, we’ll see how it goes.’

Chloe narrowed her eyes. ‘That doesn’t sound very promising. I thought you said you’d had a lovely time with Rick.’

‘I did, it’s just…’ Anya shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Okay, let me put the kettle on, because this sounds like it might take a while.’

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