Page 32 of Just the Beginning

‘No!’ she cut him off, the panicky feeling inside growing worse at the idea she’d put him off already.

She should’ve said no, should’ve turned him down gently because, my goodness, if this was her reaction then she was clearly in no fit state to seriously contemplate dating anyone. But he was so kind she just had the sense that everything would be okay if he was near. He was so tall and his chest was so broad her fingers itched to smooth a wrinkle in his shirt just for the chance to see if he was as muscular as he appeared. And how had she not noticed before how soulful his deep brown eyes were?

Something else stirred inside her, a richer, deeper tug underneath the bubbling anxiety, and she felt her breath catchin a different way.Rick Penrose. Rick. Penrose. All this time and he’d been right under her nose. Her pulse thudded so hard she raised a hand to her throat, sure he must be able to see it. ‘No, just give me some time to get my head around everything, okay?’

He nodded. ‘Okay. Can I maybe call you later?’

She smiled, relieved that he was being so understanding. ‘Yes, that would be lovely.’

He picked up her cup and handed it to her. ‘Don’t forget this.’

‘Thanks.’ She took the coffee to be polite, but there was no way she was going to drink it now. Adding caffeine to the absolute mess of nerves and desire inside her would likely bring on a heart attack. Anya was relieved that Issy had a large paper bag waiting for her with the sandwiches and cakes. She took it without a word and hurried for the door, keeping her gaze locked on the floor.

It was only once she got outside that the tightness in her chest began to ease and she could breathe again. The moment she was out of view of the café’s big picture windows she sank down onto the low wall that ran along the edge of the seafront. There were plenty of people out and about on the beach, but it was nowhere near as busy as it had been at the weekend. The sand closest to the high tide line was covered in towels and umbrellas, a few windbreaks here and there (though there was barely a puff of breeze) hammered firmly in to mark out territory. Just a couple of feet further back, there was plenty of space, and the families and couples sitting there were much more spread out. She never understood why some people were determined to be as close to the water as possible, like the ones who crammed into the parking spaces nearest to the door in thesupermarket. Give her a bit of room anytime, even if it meant walking a few extra feet.

She watched the comings and goings on the beach for a few minutes, smiling at the shrieks from a couple of little girls who had raced into the sea carrying bright pink inflatables only to turn and scurry out of the shallows as the coldness of the water registered. It would take several weeks of consistent sunshine to warm it by a few degrees, and even then it would be a shock until you got used to it. Anya loved that feeling, the bravery it took to keep striking out into the chilly waves, knowing dabbling about on the edge would only take you longer to become accustomed. She’d have to do the same if she was really going to give things with Rick a chance. All in or not at all. It wouldn’t be fair to Freya otherwise. If they fiddled around and took things too slow, she’d get used to him being around and then it would be much harder on all of them if things didn’t work out. The tug in her belly earlier told her there might be chemistry, but there was only one way to find out. The thought of being intimate with another man was equal parts scary and exciting. Since Drew’s death, it was like that part of her had switched off completely. Though she found herself attracted to Rick, what if she couldn’t turn it back on again? The thought of leading him on and then letting him down was almost as bad as the fear of Freya getting too attached.

Her phone buzzed and she set the bag of sandwiches on the wall to retrieve it. It was a WhatsApp message from Issy.

Issy

What was that all about?? Are you okay??

Before she had a chance to reply, the wordsKat is typing…appeared on the screen and Anya winced. Issy hadn’t just sent the message to her, she’d sent it to their group chat by mistake.

Kat

What’s happened?

Anya

False alarm, everything’s fine

If she’d thought that would head things off at the pass, Issy had other ideas. Apparently her first message hadn’t been a mistake after all, because her response immediately popped up.

Issy

Anya and Rick were holding hands just now in the café!!

Chloe

Whhhaaaaaatt???

Oh God, they’d all seen it.

Chloe

Details! I demand alllll the details!!

She was tempted to ignore them all, but she knew she’d never get a moment’s peace until she said something. Yes there was lots to be nervous about, but if she was going to take a chance, then she doubted there was a better man than Rick to do it with. Taking a deep breath, she sent a reply.

Anya

Rick and I are going to start dating. NBD.

Issy is typing…

Kat is typing…

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