Page 77 of Flock Around and Find Out

“Haven’t you come to terms by now with the idea that council only represents a very small fragment of what is out there?” He gestured my way. “You, for example. Did you think you were the only clan not represented?”

“So that means that every single shade of crystal here is a different Spirit?”

Porter shook his head. “No, I don’t believe so. Just as there didn’t seem to be any of your type until you were changed, I think some of these powers aren’t represented on Earth. I can sense the type of power, and there are many I have never felt before. Of course, that could mean there are just so few of them that we don’t realize.”

“Or they don’t cause as much trouble as you, so we never notice,” Ruben said.

Which was a rather fair point.

It made me wonder what my life would have been like if I’d just stayed quiet, if I hadn’t put myself at the center of so many disasters. Would I have just gone on like normal?

Would I have even realized what I was? My changes weren’t controlled by the moon or time, not like Weres, so what would have happened if I’d never been in danger? If I’d had no reason to escape that wolf, to turn into a crow, to meet Galen?

It felt like all those things led one into another, each spilling over so that the next event was even more ridiculous. So if I’d never gotten on that rollercoaster, if I’d never stepped onto that path, would things have been different?

“What are you thinking about?” Kelvin asked.

“What if I didn’t get attacked that day, what if I never met Galen and so never went to the council and never met any of you. It’s weird to think how different my life might have been. I won’t pretend like it was amazing before, like my life was perfect or anything, but it was pretty normal.”

No one spoke at first, as though my question had sucked all breathable oxygen from this entire realm.

It was Ruben who responded. “Is that what you would have wanted?”

“Yes. No?” I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m unhappy with where I am. It’s not like I regret a lot of it or anything. I’m just saying that I think about it, you know? I can’t be the only one who wonders what other life we might have had. I mean—look at where you all are.If it wasn’t for me, most of you wouldn’t behere.”

At least the men looked at each other, as though considering my words.

They were true, though. Galen might be here, sure, because I hadn’t started this problem myself.

Or, I was pretty sure of that, at least. Maybe we’d find out differently, but for the moment, I hadn’t started this mess and I couldn’t be blamed for it.

Yet.

But Ruben, Kelvin, Porter and the Mind rep were all here because ofme.They’d come because of their connection to me, because they didn’t think this was safe, because I’d talked them into it. I’d altered the course of each of their lives drastically, and it made me wonder—what if.

The expressions they each wore implied they thought the same, that they considered the differences.

No one spoke for a while.

I wasn’t sure I minded that, though. I didn’t want to hear them tell me about how they really wish they hadn’t met me. I’d heard that enough in my life that I didn’t want to hear it from them.

Especially not these men.

Well, the Mind could say that.

I didn’t care if he liked me or not. In fact, he sat farther away, quiet, as though he didn’t want to participate more than he had to.

I didn’t mind that. I wasn’t sure I had room in my life foranotherman who could piss me off. Sure, I was a mess, but to think they weren’t was a huge fucking mistake.

They caused their share of problems, after all, and I didn’t need another—especially a Mind strong enough for Harrison to pick for this job—bugging me. Harrison had been able to crawl through my head if he wanted, was far too good at working out what I thought and felt, so why the hell would I want that from someone else?

No thanks.

My brain was a strictno crossingsort of place. I didn’t need all these muddy footprints in there, causing problems and fucking up my shit.

A glance his way made me wonder who he was, though. Harrison wasn’t exactly trusting.

Him sending someone was nice, I guess, but the fact it didn’t matter enough for him to even reach out to me stung.

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