Page 68 of Flock Around and Find Out

“You seemed like you’ve known him for a long time.”

“Five years or so.”

She nodded slowly. “Five years? That makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was around five years ago that something changed about you. I didn’t know what it was—I still don’t—but it was like you’d drifted before then and you suddenly found some focus. You seemed to make better choices, or at least make choices at all. You’re still always you, but you seemed more grounded. I wonder if that was his influence.”

Nope.

Well, I mean, he could have played a part. That was the time I’d changed, when I’d gotten thrown into an entire world I hadn’t known existed. Sure, Galen had come into my life then as well, and he was important to me, but he hadn’t been the main reason for that change. Instead, he’d been a helpful rock in an all-new river that threatened to drown me.

But I couldn’t explain that to my mom, so I shrugged. “Maybe. Five years ago I think I realized the world was bigger than I thought. I figured out that things were more than I’d known before. It was like living my whole life in this tiny studio apartment then having someone throw the door open and seeing that there’s way more to it.”

My mother nodded as though she had any idea what that meant.

Fuck, I wasn’t sure I even knew what it meant, not really. It sounded good, but without going through it, no one could really understand.

“Well, I’m glad you had a friend like him. I’ve always wanted you to rely on your family more, but I understand that you can’t always, that there are lots of other things for you to do and think about and deal with. It was good to realize you had so many people who care about you. So, when are you leaving?”

“Night of the full moon.”

“Can’t you just say Monday like normal people do? Must you make it sound so dramatic?”

I chuckled at the annoyance in her voice. “Sorry. Monday evening.”

“Okay. Make sure you call me when you land.”

“We’re going to be road-tripping it. Cell phone free, you know, off the grid.”

“No phones?” And there went that old mom-suspicion that never failed to catch the shady shit. “Why would you not have phones?”

“Digital detox?”

She narrowed her eyes, and I wasn’t sure if she bought my story or if she just recognized that I wasn’t about to give her a better answer. “Fine, but be careful.”

“You know me—I’m always careful!”

She rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through my hair again, the action taking me back to being a little kid. I didn’t get to be a kid much, not before she remarried. She’d always done her best to protect me, to give me a childhood, but reality got in the way a lot. I didn’t blame her for that, knew she’d worked harder than most people could, but that didn’t mean it had been a good time.

But even at the worst times, there had been good moments. I had always loved when she’d run her fingers through my hair like this, the action making me feel as though all the bad things in the world were held at bay just by this. It had tugged at my scalp but in the best way, this reassurance that nothing could get to me.

I knew I’d have to leave this safety—I always did. That was part of life. I couldn’t just stay here, and I also had grown up enough to know that no matter how safe and comfortable this felt, it wasn’t. The bad things in the world wouldn’t stay away just because I liked the way this felt.

But knowing that something would end didn’t change the happiness in the moment. It was one of the rare lessons I think I’d actually taken to heart. I knew better than most how quickly things could get snatched away, how fast they could go from great to shit. My crow had taught me that, especially since she rather liked causing things to go to shit. For that reason, I’d figured out that enjoying what we had, what I’d found, was vital, no matter how temporary it might be.

Which meant I snuggled against my mom and pretended I was five again, that I didn’t have these worries on my shoulders, that I didn’t have to think about all of this. Sure, I’d go back to the real world in an hour or so, but I’d still be in the same place then whether I stressed about it now or whether I took a little break, put my feet up, drank my coffee and acted like a kid again.

Tomorrow was a bitch, and she showed up no matter if we were ready for her or not. No reason to wear myself out trying to avoid her.

* * * *

I’d stashed items in my personal bay for safe keeping. I had no idea if I’d be able to get to them wherever we were going. It wasn’t like there were many couriers around, so they rarely got to test out such things. In addition to that, however, I’d packed a bag that I had slung over my back.

It felt like camping, but my last attempt at that hadn’t been a great one.

Maybe this time I wouldn’t get nearly eaten by a tiger.

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