Page 51 of Flock Around and Find Out

Lips found mine, pulling me from my thoughts. Kelvin sure was good at doing that, though, at forcing me to think only about him, about what was going on, to wipe away everything else. I had to admit, it was one of the things I enjoyed about him.

He held the rest of the world at bay, letting me live in just one blissful moment when I got to experience just a little bit of pleasure.

Plus, he might be a sneaky asshole, he might lie to me about most things, but I never doubted his devotion to me. He proved that time and time again. Sure, if a body showed up, there was a good ninety percent chance that he had something to do with it, but that didn’t change that I could trust how he felt about me.

So when he kissed me, when he pulled me tighter against his body, I lost myself. I stopped worrying about the Weres, about the meetings, about the book, about it all. I existed only in this moment.

He paused and stared at me, a question there, the same one he always asked me at this point.

Now?

Was I going to ask him to go further, to cross that line? If I didn’t tell him yes now, before he bit me, before I lost my mind andbeggedhim, then he wouldn’t actually fuck me.

And boy, did I beg when we got to that point. The cloudy memories of it, of the times I almost cried pleading with him to take me, to fill me up, to fuck me, they woke me from sleep at times from filthy dreams that repeated over and over again in my head.

Yeah, I knew I wanted that, but I still held back.

It felt like the last bit of control I had, the last bit of self-respect, of safety. I could blame this all on the bond, on us needing each other, but if told him yes before the bite?

I had to admit, this was real. I had to accept whatever it was, to take personal responsibility for it, and I just wasn’t ready for that. Wasn’t sure I ever would be, really. It was too scary, too large, too real.

So I didn’t answer. I didn’t say no, but neither did I say yes.

Kelvin, despite this all, had never made me feel bad about the choice. In fact, he smiled, no anger or frustration in the expression. “That’s the nice thing about being immortal—I can wait.”

He tilted my head, pressed a kiss to my pulse, then struck with a familiar pain.

Yeah, this isn’t so bad a way to ignore the rest of the world.

* * * *

Kelvin

Grey cuddled beneath my black silk sheets, her shoulder bare, her neck showing the marks I’d left on her.

I would have sworn my heart had stopped long ago but fuck if it didn’t seem to pound at the sight of her.

Mine.

I knew it. Sure, she was my thrall, connected to me, bound to me in a way that was instinctual and primal and unbreakable. That was a part of it, but I suspected it went far deeper. She was something new, something unexpected in a long and hard life.

Even if I had never bound her to me, even if I had never attempted that, I would feel exactly the same way. Something about her shocked me to my core, made me uneasy and certain and confused all at the same time. She was perhaps the only thing in me that caused such conflicting feelings.

And yet she’d denied me again.

I never wanted her to know how deeply it wounded each time it happened. I deserved to carry that pain—not her. And I would keep taking blow after blow until she finally accepted my feelings, until we rebuilt whatever we had between us, until she learned to trust me again.

She frowned, her lips moving as though she were talking. Judging from the pinched expression, whatever dream she experienced wasn’t good.

I leaned in closer, hoping to catch this tiny piece of her inner life, the part of her she hid from everyone, the part I desperately wanted to own. Was she having a nightmare? I knew little about her in many ways, but what I’d gleaned from both her words and background checks said many parts of her past hadn’t been great.

She had a loving family now—I’d spent time with them at this point, gotten to know them—but that hadn’t always been the case. No one gained the dark sense of humor she had if they lived a perfect life, after all.

I listened intently, hoping to catch something from her, to understand what she dreamed of as though that would unlock everything from her.

She whispered, her voice so low I had to strain to pick up the words.

“No.”

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