Page 20 of Flock Around and Find Out

Is he a god?

The idea hit me from time to time, but I just couldn’t accept it. It didn’t seem possible. The idea of gods walking among us was strange enough, but this was Knot we were talking about. He hardly seemed competent enough to be considered one.

And I still hadn’t accepted the idea that gods were a thing. People made their own stories up, promoted powerful creatures to godhood in their myths to make sense of the world.

People had done it with vampires and werewolves, in fact, had elevated them and worshipped them. I could only assume Knot—and anything else someone called a god—was the same sort of thing.

“You were right,” I admitted about halfway through the quiet meal. “It is good. I don’t love eating it while we watch all the steers walk by, but still. It’s good.”

He smiled and popped one of the delicious little deep fried cheese curds into his mouth. “You seem stressed. I’d ask if you were having more problems, but you’realwayshaving problems.”

“Thanks to you, I’m always having problems.”

“You like to pout and blame me, but you were chaotic well before I ever interacted with you. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be that interested in you. So, tell me, what’s going on this time?”

I blew out a long breath and sat back. “Have you heard about the issues with the Weres?”

“Weres? No. I try to avoid Spirits whenever possible. Are they peeing on the floor or something?”

His joke would have amused me at another time—I might have even made it myself—but I didn’t feel all that joking after what the wereraven had said. “Their energy is thickening. That’s what Porter said.”

“Porter?” He frowned, then groans. “Oh, that’s the Nature, right? With the horns? Yeah, I wouldn’t trust him normally, but he’s probably right.”

“So you do know what’s going on?” I sat up straighter, hopeful. Knot was clearly well connected, so if he had an idea of what had happened, what was going on, maybe he knew how to stop it?

“It’s not your problem,” he hedged and waved his hand. “Why do you keep sticking your nose into things that don’t affect you?”

“Um, the first incident was when I was framed for murder and the second was after I got attacked by a drugged-up mind. I am pretty sure they both affected me.”

He sighed—loudly. “No, they might have affected you for a moment, but that didn’t mean you needed to dive into them or fix them. You risked your life both times, nearly got yourself killed. That was all unnecessary. You did those things because you couldn’t help it, because you have an affliction I have never been able to cure you of.”

“And what exactly is that?”

“Empathy.” He screwed up his face and shuddered as he said it, like he was diagnosing me with leprosy or something.

“Oh the horror,” I deadpanned.

“It really is. You have no idea, because you’re still young and stupid.”

“Someone else just called me young and naïve. I think I like that one better.”

“That’s probably becausetheywere young and stupid. If they weren’t, they know that all young people are stupid. That all young people think the world is whatever they want to think it is instead of the truth. That’s just reality. That’s how it works. As you get older, you recognize how little anyone else cares about you, about what you’re doing, so trying to do shit for them will only destroy you.” His little tirade might have seemed convincing, at least at first, but the reality was that I couldhearthe way it bothered him, the way he seemed to break slightly near the end, with what could almost be considered an emotion leaking through.

“I can’t just ignore this,” I told him, choosing honesty for a rare time. Besides, I had a feeling he already suspected as much.

“Youcan.You just don’t want to.”

“Fine, I refuse to.”

“Is it because you love that wolf or something?” He asked as if it weren’t possible, like the very idea were entirely absurd. Made sense, though. If he didn’t think much about caring for people, he would really be put off by love.

I wanted to say no, to tell him that there was no chance that I actually loved Galen. He was frustrating and he lectured me and he was a constant thorn for me.

The desire to say that he was just comfortable, that he felt safe just because he introduced me to this world, because he’d been an ally from the start tempted me.

I doubted the truth of those words, though.

I thought about my draw to Galen, about the way we orbited each other, how he watched out for me, risked himself even when he had no logical reason to do so.

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