Page 91 of Kiss the Villain

His yearbook picture in which he looked hot—kill me.

His favorite color is gray. Boring fucker.

He doesn’t have a favorite show or movie and doesn’t actually watch them.

His favorite music is classical, which I kind of knew, and his favorite composers are Bruckner and Rachmaninoff for some reason. Something I need to look into further.

The most surprising fact I learned is that he played hockey up through college.

His parents separated when he was nine and he chose to live with his father.

I’m paying Nadine more to dig further, although I considered asking her to locate him right now.

But then I thought better of it and made this stupid thread on one of those NSFW advice forums.

An impulse in the moment just to see what normal people think about this. I kept it generic.

Title:"I’m not gay, but I can’t stop thinking about my superior—Help?!"

Let me start by saying this: I’m not gay. I’ve never been into men or found them remotely attractive. But if I’m honest, I haven’t exactly felt that way about women either. I’ve just gone through the motions because, well, society. I can get hard when needed and make sure the girls have a good time, but truthfully? It feels like a chore. I don’t enjoy it—except for the climax and maybe a little of the power play.

Now, here comes the curveball: my superior. I won’t go into details about how we met or where, but let’s just say it wasn’t under ideal circumstances. I hated him on sight. Yet, somehow, this guy has unleashed a side of me I didn’t even know existed.

He’s the only man I’ve ever found attractive, and it’s driving me out of my mind. I can’t stand him as a person, but every time he’s near, I get this primal urge to push back, to defy him. And, of course, he loves the cat-and-mouse game. The whole dynamic is infuriating.

I’ll admit it—the oral sex was next level. He has this way of blending pain with pleasure, and as much as I hate to confess it, I liked it. It gave me some of the most intense orgasms of my life. But here’s where it all gets messy: I hate the thought of another man fucking me. It’s just something I can’t wrap my head around.

And yet when the tables turned and I had the chance to fuck him, I froze. Couldn’t do it. He says I like to be dominated, and that cut deep because I thought I was the one calling the shots.

Now, he’s ghosted me. Part of me is relieved, but the other part? Seething. Frustrated. He claimed he wasn’t into men either, but I don’t know if I buy that—especially since he always seems ready to…well, you get the picture.

So what’s happening here? Is this just some weird one-time thing, or am I heading for the mother of all sexuality crises?

It was flooded in the span of a day. I scroll through the comments, my frown deepening by the second.

Looks like y’all are having a bi-awakening at the same time. Go ride that dick, my man.

My bro is having both gay and masochist awakening. Pray for his ass.

Why the fuckdoes that look like something Niko would write?

I read through more trolls.

Bro, you’re describing a romance novel but with less love and more frustration. Maybe you’ve just found your ‘enemy-to-lovers’ kink.

I’m not saying you’re gay, but the fact that you can’t stop thinking about the guy who ‘ghosted’ you after giving you the best orgasms of your life kinda says otherwise. Just saying.

You’re not gay, but you’re definitely confused, my dude.

Someone hand this man a mirror so he can check if he’s ‘straight’ or just really into mind games and power dynamics.

Plot twist: you’re just really into mindfucks.

I pause at that one but continue reading the most awarded comments with more serious answers.

It sounds like you’re in a confusing place. Attraction and sexuality are complicated, and it’s normal to feel conflicted. Your feelings toward this guy might not even be about sexuality but could stem from power dynamics or unresolved emotions. Take some time to reflect on your feelings and relationships.

You seem torn between what’s familiar and something entirely new. Don’t shame yourself for your feelings, even if they’re confusing. If you’re unsure about your sexuality, explore it without pressure or labels. There’s no need to force yourself into a box—just feel and figure it out as you go.

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