Page 156 of Kiss the Villain

My smile falls.

Not serious? He was on the verge of committing murder just because I didn’t reply to him, and it’snothingserious.

I know he’s putting up a front, but it’s getting tedious now.

I hear them move, and I walk away so as not to be discovered.

But all I can think about is the pain in my chest because the little monster who’s been carving himself beneath my skin for months said we’re not serious.

27

GARETH

Suspecting—or knowing—I have feelings for my grouchy asshole professor that I met under the worst circumstances has been anexperience.

Not the best, according to Kayden, who’s been bombarded by what he calls ‘excessive indulgence.’

It’s been about two weeks since I came to that realization and it kind of altered my brain chemistry.

So I’ve only had one genuine-ish relationship with Harper. Aside from her, my relationships have been fleeting and meaningless, and even Harper didn’t stay for long. Yes, I took a girlfriend or two home, but they were the girls I fucked at that time.

I certainly have no damn clue how to have a relationship with a man.

Anolderman.

Like another generation, really. He’s definitely more mature than anyone I’ve ever been with. More than me if I’m being brutally honest.

But his age has never really bothered me. Actually, I think I’ve been drawn to his domineering personality from the get-go. And while I’d never say this out loud, the way he orders me around does strange things to me.

The fact remains, he’s entirely different from anything I’ve experienced. So I’ve been calling my parents and grandpa.

Dad said acts of service are his love language, which is true. He often does things for Mom before she even asks for them.

Mom said it’s words of affirmation and touch, which is…a no, I guess.

I have no clue what to say to him, and I kind of feel awkward touching him of my own accord. If it’s not sex, I don’t know where I’m supposed to put my hands. And he’s not a girl, so I’m not sure if I can wrap my arms around his waist all the time like I truly want.

It’s odd that I often told girls what they wanted to hear without batting an eye. Praising their looks, their bodies, their smell. It came all too naturally to me, but with him…it’s hard.

No, not hard.

Embarrassing? I don’t know, maybe because he’s the first person I’ve cared about this deeply, so I don’t want to fuck it up.

And I’m not sure if you can praise a man’s looks out loud, even if you’re fucking. He knows I’m obsessed with his smell and doesn’t mind when I bury my face in his neck, but I’m not sure if I can take it any further.

Anyway, Mom was a bit useless.

So I had a convo with my new bestie, V, the Reddit version.

TooPrettyForThisMess

So, you were kind of right. It’s not only sexual. I don’t think it ever was tbh.

QuietRage

I KNEW it haha you’re in looove.

STFU I’m not in love. Anyway, I kind of want to take care of him. Is that a thing in gay relationships?

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