Page 69 of No More Spies

“It must be nice to be alone,” she said.

“I hate it. I never wanted to live by myself, though I amconsidering talking to Tris’s parents about buying the place.” When they’d allgotten out of college, Tristan’s parents had bought the four-bedroom ranchhouse he and Tris and Aidan had lived in for years while they’d built theircareers. It had been a way station for him and Tris as they’d been in themilitary and then the Agency, but he was giving up his commission. He onlywanted to work with his team, and honestly, only until she wanted out.

His plan was to follow her. If that meant he became acommercial pilot because they could use the money, he was up for it. If he onlyever flew for the Agency…or hopefully for McKay-Taggart someday, he was okaywith that, too.

“Really? You don’t think it’s too big? Or are you planningto get some more roommates?”

The thought made him shudder. The only one he would haveconsidered was Zach. He loved his friends, but he was over the wholewoman-a-night thing, party-all-the-time phase of his life. Not that he’dactually had the woman-a-night thing. He’d been more of a serial monogamist,and even then there hadn’t been many girlfriends. But he’d liked a party. Nowhe wanted to sit down at night with her and watch TV and pet the dog and haveher fall asleep on his lap. “No. I just think it’s time, and I have some moneyto invest. A house is almost always a good investment. Besides, maybe somedaysomeone will want to move in with me.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” she replied with a nod. “You cancharge rent if you own the house. I do think there are a couple of guys lookingfor a new place. James doesn’t want to stay with his parents anymore now thathe’s done with grad school. I’m pretty sure I heard one of the line chefs atTop is looking for a new place. His apartment got flooded, and it’ll take weeksto get it back in shape.”

She could be very literal at times. “Baby, I wasn’t talkingabout one of the guys. Don’t get me wrong. I was planning on letting Zach staywith me but only because I thought he was settling down with Devi. I don’t wanta roommate who brings home women every night.”

“Well, he was probably going to bring home Devi,” shepointed out.

“No, he was probably going to drop his stuff off and thenspend every moment he could at Devi’s.” At least that had been the plan whenthey’d talked about it. It was hard to believe Zach hadn’t meant every word,but then there was a lot he didn’t know about the guy. “I was talking aboutyou. I was hoping maybe you would move in.”

“Why would I… Is this because I make the bed and you don’tlike to make the bed?” Kala asked, her eyes narrowing.

It’s because I fucking love you and want to spend everymoment with you and want us to build something beautiful together.It’swhat he wanted to say, but he had to be patient. “Yes. I hate making the bed.”

She sobered and sighed. “No, you don’t. I know it seemsridiculous…”

“It’s not.” She had boundaries she thought she had todefend, but she was allowing him to gradually remove some bricks. Soon he wouldhave a whole door, and he would be on the other side of all her walls. “We moveas fast or slow as you want.”

She chuckled. “Sure, babe. This is all on my time.”

She wasn’t wrong, and it felt like an opening since shewasn’t shutting him down. “How honest can I be?”

“And not scare me off?” She seemed to think about thequestion for a moment. “Hit me. I can handle it.”

He wasn’t sure, but this was a good opening. “If you wouldhave talked to me, I would have been your boyfriend after that night. I knew Ihad screwed up so royally and it made me ache inside, but I would have doneanything to have changed that night.”

She was silent for a moment, her head turned up to thestars. “If it helps, I think you were right.”

“About the sex, yes, I was.” He was only going to agree withher so far. “But not the rest. I know I sometimes made you feel like I washiding you, but when you started school again, you were the one who ignored me.I can’t help but think it’s because you blamed me for what happened to you.I’ll take it. I’ll take that blame because I never should have allowed you toleave.”

“Like you could have stopped me,” Kala argued.

“I could have tried.” He remembered back to the night andthe awful time when he’d had no idea where she was. “I was sick. So sick. Afteryour parents went to find you, I sat there praying I would see you again. Andwhen I did, you looked through me. I know it’s not fair. I know I’m the one whoscrewed up, but I hated the fact that you couldn’t look at me because you werethe only one who really saw me.”

“I think everyone saw you, Coop. You were like the king ofhigh school.”

“They saw the me I wanted them to see. They didn’t see me.They saw the scared kid who thought he had to be perfect or his parents mightregret adopting him.”

“You know that wasn’t true.”

She’d told him a million times. Naturally she was the onlyone he’d told, and when she’d stopped talking to him, he’d stopped talkingabout it. Years and wisdom had solved the problem, but he’d missed her. “Itfelt like it at the time. And it wasn’t anything my parents did. It was me. Iwondered if there was something I should know, some, I don’t know, weird DNAtrick waiting to make me someone else. Like badness or laziness can beinherited. I know nothing about my birth mother. I’m okay with that now, but atthe time I questioned everything. Including why she gave me away.”

“She probably wanted what was best for you and she couldn’tgive it. Or she didn’t want a kid,” Kala said with her usual logic. Shefrowned. “But it was probably like the first one. Like she loved you and stuffbut didn’t have any money.”

He grinned her way. She wasn’t trying to be mean. She oftensaid what she was thinking around him. Kala would be utterly closed lippedaround anyone she didn’t know, but she let all her thoughts flow with him. Evenif she didn’t admit it, she felt safe with him. “Baby, what else went throughyour head? Please? I want to hear it.”

She frowned and looked adorable with all that pink hairpiled high on her head. “Fine. I was thinking she also might have been on therun from a drug cartel and she had to give birth in a bathroom and she knew akid would weigh her down while she plotted her bloody revenge and one day whenshe’s killed everyone she needs to, she’ll come back and be like ‘hey, I’m yourmom.’”

He reached out and brushed a hand across her hair. “Youshould have been a novelist.”

“Too many words. But I do like a good story.” She movedcloser to him, dragging her blanket along. “You don’t still think that way, doyou?”

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