Page 54 of No More Spies

“You actually trained the dog to do that? What is wrong withyou?” Cooper asked, knowing the answer.

“Hey, Cooper, I was wrong. You are a gift, buddy,” Big Tagyelled as he turned and walked down the hall.

Kenzie said something he couldn’t hear.

Unfortunately, Big Tag was loud. “It was a compliment. Ididn’t think it would be that big. His dad’s is tiny.”

Brianna had walked after Tag and Kenz, and Coop foundhimself alone with Seth.

“It’s not so big I can’t take it off,” Seth said in a slowdrawl. “You should think about that.”

He did not need a lecture. “Come on, man. Put a sheet overme. This is awkward.”

Seth shrugged. “I don’t see why. How is this different fromthe locker room at The Hideout or that time at The Club when Julian made allthe Doms run a mile naked in high heels to show us what it feels like to be asub? Remember I got the five-inchers, and I’m pretty sure it’s because hethinks I’m after his daughter.”

“Yeah, well, I’m starting to wonder if I didn’t fall intoyour dad’s trap,” Cooper admitted.

“Nah.” Seth crossed his arms over his chest. “Dad onlypranks people he cares about. See, that’s where people get confused about him.If my dad is yelling, everything’s fine. If he’s pulling dumbass pranks, you’recool. It’s when he gets quiet and agrees with everything you say that you knowyou’ve lost him. He truly believes this is what’s best for Kala. If he didn’t,well, there’s a certain freezer at Top where we put those problems. It’s bestthey’re kept on ice.”

“Your dad isn’t going to kill me,” Cooper argued.

“No, but I might,” Seth countered. “You see, Dad believesyou’re the only guy for Kala. Like Mom was the only woman for him. Personally,I think we can do better than an asshole who told her she wasn’t good enoughfor him in high school.”

“I never said that, and how the fuck do you know about whathappened?” He hadn’t thought Kala would tell him. “From what I can tell shedidn’t talk to anyone but Lou.”

“I know I have a certain reputation as a dumbass artist whowouldn’t understand intelligence work if it hit me over the head with my ownguitar.” Seth moved around the bed, getting closer to the door. “It isn’t easybeing the artist in a family full of badasses. But there are rewards to be hadif one is smart. You see, I cultivate that shit because then no one suspects meof anything. No one would think that I would perhaps read my sister’s journalbecause I happen to know she won’t tell anyone when she’s hurting. I havealways known Tash and Kenz will be okay. They’re resilient. They bounce backfrom everything, but not Kala. I knew it when I was fucking five, man. So I dowhat I need to do to protect her in a way she finds acceptable.”

Coop wasn’t sure about that. “I don’t think she would findit acceptable to read her damn journal.”

Seth leaned against the door jamb. “But then how would Ihave known to tell her I had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep alone and I didn’twant to disturb Mom and Dad? For three weeks. Kala sometimes needs a place toput all that anxiety and fear. Some people take all the bad shit and spew it onthe world like a snake spitting venom. My sister puts it into caring for thepeople around her. She’s got it in her head she’s some kind of monster whodoesn’t feel things the same way everyone else does.”

So Seth did know what was going on with his sister. “That’snot true.”

“I mean it is a little. The part about her not feelingthings the same way. We don’t talk about it but come on, man. She’s on thespectrum. We all know it. I have been around so many artists whose brains workdifferently, and they get the shit kicked out of them for not being normal.”

“Neurodivergent.” He knew the term, and now he wanted tokick himself for not seeing it.

“Yep. There are so many people out there who don’t fit thenorms, but there’s nothing wrong with them. Their brains just work differently.Mom and Dad had been planning to have her tested in high school.” He shrugged.“I’m also excellent at eavesdropping. When I get caught, I give the ’rents acute dumb boy look and they assume the earbuds in my ears are working. Theyare, by the way, just not how they think they are. You see, a long time ago Loufigured out how to make it so they amplify sound from the outside.” He wavedhis hand. “You don’t need to know the specifics. Anyway, they were trying tofigure out how to talk to her about it. They wanted to test her in case sheneeded accommodations, but they were worried it would make her feel even moredifferent. Before they had a chance to, want to guess what happened?”

“That night.” He felt a bit sick.

“That night.” Seth’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know a lotabout what happened that night. I know my sister blames herself. She wroteabout what happened between the two of you, but not what happened while she wasa guest of Julia Ennis. The last entry in her journal was a poem. Did you knowshe used to write poetry?”

She’d never told him. “No.”

“I doubt anyone does. Maybe not even Lou. I know because I’ma sneaky bastard who won’t let her be alone even when she thinks she should be.The poetry was her outlet. She wrote one last poem about a week after she gothome, and then she never touched that journal again. She thinks she threw itaway, but I have it. One day I’m going to ask her if I can put them to musicbecause her poetry is an insight into a truly beautiful and unique soul, and itshould be heard if she allows it.” Seth stared down at him. “My parents put herin therapy and didn’t talk about getting her tested again. I’m pretty sure thetherapist told them she’s on the spectrum but functions so highly she wouldn’tneed anything but emotional accommodations, and here we are. By the way, no onegives anyone emotional accommodations. We think everyone’s brains mustobviously work the same way and anyone different has problems. My sister isperfect the way she is.”

“She’s not,” Cooper argued. “Sheisperfect but herlife isn’t, and it can’t be without me. I know I sound like an arrogant prickwhen I say that, but no one in the world is going to love your sister the way Iwill. No one. I might not have a technical word to describe how she thinks, butI studied it and I learned how to talk to her, how to give her what she needsin a way she can accept. I was stupid in high school, but I’ve changed. All Iwant is her. Do you think I want to be an Agency operative? Dude, I barely holdmy shit together when she’s out in the field. I’m there because she’s there,and that means it’s the only place for me to be.”

“All right,” Seth said with a long sigh. “Then I should tellyou what she’s said about what happened to her.”

Cooper shook his head. “Abso-fucking-lutely not. That is herstory, and you’re not telling it. If I find out you’ve told anyone, we’re goingto have a problem.”

Seth’s lips quirked up. “And that is the right answer. Thetruth is I don’t know. I know it still affects her. She still wakes up scaredsometimes, but she sleeps with Lou now which is good because it would seriouslycramp my style.”

She was going to sleep with him from now on. He would takecare of her, and eventually she would tell him her secrets. “Don’t worry aboutit. I’ll take care of her. I’ll figure out a way, but you are going to givethat journal back to her when she’s ready.”

“Journal?” Kenzie walked back in. “Who has a journal?”

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