Page 40 of No More Spies

Kala was fairly certain her heart was going to explode. Shewas too young for a heart attack, although she sometimes thought what Huismanhad done to her was very similar toThe Princess Bride. There had beena torture machine in that movie, and it took years off the victim’s life. Maybeshe was actually eighty now.

He said yes. And he didn’t want to wait.

And she was supposed to be this cool, sexually experiencedchick. She was not supposed to be a twenty-seven-year-old maybe virgin who liedabout sleeping with men because she didn’t want any of them besides CooperMcKay.

He had. She knew he’d slept with women. He’d had a couple ofserious girlfriends in college.

Not even Lou knew she’d never slept with anyone. She’d liedto her best friend so she didn’t look like the sexless,scared-to-find-out-if-she-was-a-virgin freak she was.

Only Kenzie knew. Even her parents thought she hadboyfriends in college. Her father had even praised her for not bringing thedumbasses home to meet them. Though that might have been a complaint now thatshe thought about it.

Cooper held a hand out. “Let’s go to a privacy room. I’m notfucking you for the first time on a spanking bench.”

For the first time. Oh, this was so many first times. Hedidn’t even know how many first times were going to be had tonight.

And he wasn’t going to because this wasn’t about happilyever after. This was about getting him out of her system so she could properlyfocus on her job. She’d gone to that freaking bar the night Huisman kidnappedher because she’d been thinking about Cooper. She’d watched Tris and Carys andAidan fighting and wished Coop cared about her enough to fight with her.

She had to get him out of her head, and not sleeping withhim hadn’t done the trick. So here she was. But no one else had to know aboutit. “The bench is fine.”

He stared down at her. Without her boots, he had a good fiveinches on her. And a hundred pounds of muscle. Pretty muscle. She’d never seenhim naked before. Tops didn’t tend to get naked during scenes.

Shit, was she a top so she didn’t have to be vulnerable?

She wanted to punch her therapist.

“The bench is uncomfortable. It’s supposed to be. It’s apunishment bench. And it’s too low for what I want to do. I know they clean inhere, but I’m not laying on the floor.”

“Why would you do that?”

“So I can eat your pussy,” he said like that was a normalthing to say. He tugged on her hand. “I’ll tell one of the subs to deliver yourbag and boots to the locker room. They’ll be thrilled.”

She tugged back. “But if we march through the dungeon,everyone will know.”

He stopped, those gorgeous eyes of his narrowing. “Andthat’s a problem why?”

He wasn’t thinking. “Cooper, I told you I wasn’t angling tobe your girlfriend. We don’t need all these people in our business.”

“Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”

It was time for her eyes to narrow. With irritation. “No. Idon’t want people talking about me.”

“You don’t care if people talk about you. You roll your eyesand walk away. So this is about me. I don’t care if they know. I’m going to askhow this is supposed to work because the team is usually in pretty closeconfines. Hence your father’s regular bouts with hysterical blindness. Are wegoing to go to seedy motels? I’m not against that. It can be sexy, but again, Ithought we were all about expediency. We’re not going to be doing it inwhatever safe house we find ourselves in? What’s the point then?”

She hated that he sounded so practical and that he was usingher own argument against her. Did she care? Did she care if everyone knew shefinally got into Cooper’s silky boxers? Didn’t they all already think she pinedfor him? When they broke up, it could really be over. Or she could tell whoeverasked they could bite her ass and it wasn’t any of their business. Because itwasn’t.

She looked down at the hand on hers. Would she be able tocome back here after it was over? Able to watch him with some sweet sub whowould give him everything he needed?

Was she doing this to break with him or to break witheverything in her life and start over? Was the idea of splitting off andworking for someone who hadn’t been there when she was born playing around inher head?

If she left, she could be free. Free to be whoever she trulywas. Lou didn’t need her anymore. Her sister was going to end up with thatCanadian operative. She would have to watch them all settle in and becomesomething she could never be.

“Okay.”

The hand around hers softened, and she realized he’d beenholding on pretty tight. Had he thought she would run? He seriouslyunderestimated how shitty her knee was.

“Okay? Okay, we can go to a privacy room or okay, we’re notdoing this?” Cooper asked, his gaze intense on her.

“Privacy room,” she whispered. “And anyone who has a problemwith it can kick dirt.” She thought of another positive. “Hey, they’ll probablystart betting on us, and since we’re not really together except for the sexstuff, we can control it. We can make some money off this.”

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