Page 3 of No More Spies

His head cocked. “Do it? Make out? We do that all the time.”

They did. In secret. In private. In public they werefriends. Only friends. They weren’t ready to tell their parents they weresomething more. Or their siblings. Or their other friends. She was pretty sureKenzie thought she was simply hanging out with Cooper. If Tash thought theywere close to being really intimate, she would call their parents in. Only herbest friend Lou knew they were getting physical.

But she was ready for everyone to know they were more thanfriends. What if he wasn’t?

“I think we should have sex.” It was always best to beplain.

Cooper stood up so fast she nearly fell back. “Kala, we’refifteen.”

She shrugged. She didn’t feel like she was fifteen. Giventhe profession she intended to go into, she might be middle aged. Of course,her father always said she’d been born forty years old, with a taste for Scotchand violence and a bitterness he admired. “Age is just a number.”

A laugh huffed from Cooper’s chest. “Yeah, well, I don’tthink your dad would agree, and I also don’t think he would hesitate to murderme.”

This was not going the way she thought it would. “He won’tknow about the sex. I can deal with my father. He’s not as bad as he seems tobe. And we’ll be careful. I got a couple of condoms. My parents are super openabout sex. He knows how much I care about you. It won’t come as some shock thatwe’re dating.”

“Dating?” Cooper said the word like he’d never heard itbefore.

He was obtuse tonight. “Yeah. What do you call what we’vebeen doing for the last three months? Every Saturday night.”

He seemed to think about his answer. “I don’t know. Hangingout. Playing some games.”

A pit opened in her gut. Maybe he’d been playing a game andshe hadn’t realized it. “Hanging out?”

“Kala, I care about you, too,” he said, his tone low. “Youknow I do. You know I think you’re gorgeous and funny, and I love the time wespend together, but…”

The breeze had seemed warm a moment before, but now it helda hint of a chill. That “but” was going to change everything. That “but” wasgoing to break her fucking heart.

He hesitated, so she helped him out. It was what friends didfor each other. “But I’m a lot, right? I’m a righteous bitch and everyone hatesme.”

He frowned. “I didn’t say that.”

“You don’t have to,” she replied, already feeling her armorslide into place. It was sad. She’d come to look forward to spending thesenights with him because she didn’t have to wear it. Somedays it seemed soheavy. “I have a question for you. What exactly did you think we were buildingup to with all the late-night make-out sessions?”

He paced, taking five steps to the edge of the pool and thenback to the lounger. “I didn’t think we were building up to anything. Not now.We’re still really young. I know I’m supposed to do anything for sex, but I’mnot ready, Kala. You’re talking about an adult relationship, and it comes witha lot of responsibility neither one of us is ready for.”

Ugh, she could hear his mom talking. Sometimes she thoughtlife would be easier if Cooper’s mom had been a criminal like her own.Charlotte Taggart didn’t overanalyze every emotion she had. Dr. Eve McKay,well, emotional analysis was her job, and she’d passed the obnoxious behavioron to her son. “Or you don’t want me.”

He stopped and stared at her. “Of course I do. Kala, youknow you’re gorgeous.”

Did she? Sure, her outer lining was physically attractive,but then she opened her mouth. Then she showed who she was on the inside, andit wasn’t pretty.

Would Cooper prefer her sister? Kenzie had all Kala’s outerbeauty and not so much of her darkness. Kenzie wouldn’t have lost her shit on aguy playing baseball. She would have checked to make sure Coop was okay andthen moved on with her day.

“I just… I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to take thisany further than we do now. We have time. All the time in the world. I like ourSaturdays. We don’t have to screw things up by being traditional. How about Imake us some sandwiches and we play games and enjoy the rest of the night andpretend this whole talk didn’t happen? But you need to chill or I’ll have toask you not to come to my practices. Okay?”

A weird numbness settled over her. It wasn’t anger. She knewanger and it wasn’t this.

This was her heart breaking.

He didn’t love her. He couldn’t. He didn’t want her. Shewasn’t sure why he welcomed her every Saturday. Maybe he was scared of what shemight do. She could be intense, and she was excellent at revenge. So fear couldbe the reason. Maybe he also liked making out and she was easy.

She’d been so sure of him. So certain that even when therest of the world sucked, he was her safe place. It hadn’t mattered if everyonebesides her family and her best friend Lou thought she was a psychopath, aslong as Coop was there.

But he wasn’t there. Not really.

She thought about what he’d said before. His words hitdifferent once she knew the truth.

She wasn’t going to cry. She wouldn’t give her tears toanyone if she couldn’t give them to him.

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