Page 18 of No More Spies

“You’re still grounded, but you need your friends right nowmore than you need a lesson,” his mom was saying.

“Where is she?” He needed to know.

“A town called Winchester in Virginia. Apparently JuliaEnnis has a house there. From what I understand they’re going to raid the housetonight and attempt to get her back.”

“I want to go. I won’t screw anything up, but I think Ishould be there when she gets out.”

His mom’s jaw tightened. “Cooper, you have to understandthat we don’t know what she’s been through. She needs her parents right now.”

“She needs me. She needs to know I take it all back.Everything.”

“Sweetie, you’re having a trauma response. You had yourreasons for not wanting to push the relationship further.”

Dumb reasons. Reasons like he was an asshole who wanted tobe a golden child so his parents would never regret adopting him. Reasons likehe wanted everyone to like him so his parents would never regret adopting him.“I don’t care. I want to be with Kala.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Especially now. Kala can bedifficult in the best of times, and these aren’t the best of times. She’s goingto need therapy. Putting her in a volatile emotional space isn’t going tohelp,” she argued. She stood up, glancing down at her own cell. “I should callyour dad and get an update. Look, with any luck at all she’ll be home in acouple of days. Take this time to think about what you want to say to her.”

She started for the door.

“If I’m with her, would it bother you?” Not the question hereally wanted to ask. He needed to be braver. “Would I embarrass you?”

His mom’s brows knitted together as though she was trying tofigure something out. “Coop, why would you think that? I love Kala. I love you.I think one day you’ll be good for each other, but you’re so young.”

“You and Dad were young, too.”

“I met your father in college. Yes, we were young, butthere’s a huge difference between twenty and barely fifteen,” she pointed out.“And honestly, it still fell apart.”

“Only because of what happened to you.” He didn’t like tothink about it. He knew his mom and dad had divorced after she had a terriblething happen when she was working for the FBI.

“Cooper, things happen all the time. It wasn’t truly thekidnapping and sexual assault I endured that broke us.” She seemed to blink anawful lot. Damn. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. “It was how we reacted to it.This is life. We cannot control some of the things that happen to us, but we docontrol how we handle them. You need to let Kala figure out what she needsbecause her whole world changed in the blink of an eye. You need to listen toher and support her. Do you want to talk to someone? I’m always here, butsometimes it can be easier to talk to someone who isn’t your parent.”

Therapy. She was offering him therapy. She thought he wasweak. Maybe he was. Damn it. He knew there was nothing weak about it. She’dalways told him there was strength in talking about the pain people wentthrough. Even Uncle Ian had a therapist. So why did he go there? Why did hethink he needed to be perfect?

He knew. He knew but he never said it because if he did, heknew he might not like the answer. Or he might see the hesitation in hisparents’ eyes.

“Cooper?”

He sniffled. He was crying again. His shit friends wouldmake fun of him for it.

Kala would hug him and vow vengeance on whoever had made himcry.

“If I wasn’t good at sports and popular at school, would yoube embarrassed to be my mom? Like would you think you should have pickedanother kid?”

His mom’s jaw dropped, and tears slid from her eyes as shemoved back to him, sitting down and wrapping her arms around him. She huggedhim tightly. No hesitation from Eve McKay. “I would never want another kid.Never. You are my son, Cooper. I don’t care whose womb you came out of. You aremine and your dad’s. I don’t care if you never play baseball again. I certainlydon’t care if some kids don’t like you. Sweetie, I’m so sorry. You seem happy.”

“I am happy.” He shook his head. “Well, I’m not right now.I’m just saying I’m happy you’re my mom, but I worry.”

She smoothed back his hair like she had when he was a child.“I love you and Hunter with every fiber of my being. The same way I love yoursister. Your father and I didn’t adopt you because we wanted a perfect kid. Wedid it because we wanted to love you. There are no expectations except we wantyou to try your hardest and be kind. That’s all we ask.” She kissed hisforehead. “I love you. You made me a mom, Cooper. You made me a better person,and there is nothing you could do that would make me not love you.”

He let her rock against him, a familiar rhythm fromchildhood he found infinitely soothing.

“Do you think about her?” his mom asked after the longesttime.

He knew who she was talking about. “No. It’s you I wantproud of me. She doesn’t know me and she never will. I’m okay with neverknowing her name. This is not me yearning for my birth mom. It’s me going overthat night in my head and wondering if I could have done it differently. If Ihurt you by loving her.”

“No.” She shook her head. “Absolutely not. You know what, Iam interfering where I should let things play out. Not the sex part. You arenot ready for sex and neither is she, but the rest of it…” She sighed. “I’mbeing a therapist and not your mom. If you want to be Kala’s boyfriend, I willsupport you. I told you. I love her, too. But you have to be prepared. She isgoing to need more than love for a while.”

“I’ll give it to her. Anything she needs,” he vowed, leaningagainst the woman who’d changed his life utterly when she decided to adopt him.He knew the adoption had been closed and his birth mom didn’t want contact atall. He was cool with it. He didn’t need her. He had his mom and dad.

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