Page 76 of Beautiful Beast

“He said no,” I mumble.

“He said what now?”

I shoot him a glare. “Viktor said no. He’s going to go through with it when Nadia is older. I’m starting to understand that … that I might not be able to save my sister.”

“I could have told you that. In fact, Ihavetold you that.”

I swat him on the arm, and he grabs me around the waist, pulling me onto his lap. I try to squirm away, but he holds me in place.

“it’s just not fair,” I whisper.

“In our world, Anya, life is never fair.”

“And you know the sad part of it all? I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this except you. You’re, ironically, all I have.”

“That’s got to be depressing for you.”

“Oh, it is.”

Erik tightens his arms around me before pulling me against his chest. It’s almost like he’s holding me. Comforting me in a strange way.

“I know you’re not happy, Anya. And I know I’m to blame for a lot of that. You know, Nadia told me to tell you something.”

“What?” I rest my head on his shoulder. I hate to admit it, but it feels good. Safe.

“She told me to tell you that … I’m sorry.”

I hold still and don’t say a word. To say something would be to ruin this moment between us.

He clears his throat. “And I am sorry, Anya. I’m sorry you had to put up with your father beating you all your life. I’m sorry you lost your mom when you were only ten. I’m sorry I can’t save your sister like you want me to. As a man, I love being able to provide money and status to my men. But as a husband, I’ve been doing a subpar job. I know it. I know you want me to feel more than I do. I’m just not sure if that’s possible for me.”

I stay in his arms for a long, quiet moment, listening to his heartbeat under my ear. If I’m being honest, I could fall asleep to the sound of it.

“I didn’t choose you, and you didn’t really choose me,” I finally say. “But I can appreciate that you’re a powerful man. If anyone could keep me safe from my father, it’s you. So, thank you for saying you’re sorry. It means a lot.”

“There you go again,” he murmurs against my hair. “Being vulnerable with me.”

“Should I not? Will I come to regret it?”

“I’m not sure. That’s the truth. I honestly don’t know anymore, Anya.”

“You don’t know how you feel?”

“You’re making me feel for the first time in a long time.”

His admission stuns me into silence.

“You don’t have to say anything to that,” he continues. “I just want to hold you right now.”

There’s a million things I could say to that. I could demand more answers. I could beg him to save Nadia now that he’s feeling more things. Or I could just stay quiet in his arms.

I decide to do the last one because, for the first time, being in Erik’s arms doesn’t feel scary at all.

Chapter

Twelve

ANYA

---