Page 69 of Beautiful Beast

I sit there for a moment, contemplating her words. For the first time in a long time, I feel true guilt.

And I fucking hate it.

ANYA

Erik returns within the hour.

By then, I’ve gotten showered and dressed and have been waiting for him the foyer, pacing for the past thirty minutes. I had to wash Erik’s touch off me, even though he technically didn’t touch me. That torture session will haunt me in many ways, and yet … it shows how complicated things are between us.

Erik gave me pleasure and pain mixed together. If that’s not confusing, I don’t know what is.

“How is she?” I ask.

“She was sad. Understandably.”

“How did my father seem? Like he wanted to hurt her?”

“I don’t know. He took her inside, and I drove away.” He takes his jacket off and hangs it by the door, acting completely nonchalant.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He pauses and stares me down in that intense way of his. “What’s wrong with me? Care to elaborate?”

“You know how my father is, and you still brought her back to him!”

“As I’ve explained, Anya, she’s only seventeen. I can’t legally keep her here with us.”

“Bullshit. You’re the Bratva. You do illegal things every day. You kill people. I’ve heard the stories. If you wanted to, you could’ve let her stay here. You could have said “fuck you” to my dad and gone about your day. But you don’t want to piss off my father because you made a deal with him. My sister means nothing to you.”

“You’re right. She doesn’t mean anything to me. And neither do you. As we’ve established, I don’t have a heart. So, get over it, Anya. I’m not a good man. It’s better you learn that now.” He walks right past me, but I just follow.

“I don’t believe you’re incapable of caring about someone. You don’t like when my father hits me. If you truly didn’t give a damn about me, you’d let him beat the life out of me. But you don’t want that.”

He keeps his back to me. “Because I married you, and it would be inconvenient to have to get a new wife.”

“No.” I storm around to face him and shove my finger into his face. “No, I don’t believe a word you say. I saw your face when I told you about my mom. You looked like you cared. Ithink you’re more than capable of it, Erik, but you choose not to. Why?”

“Why? Because life is easier that way. Haven’t you learned that by now? If you didn’t care so much for your sister, you wouldn’t be so worried and anxious all the time. You’d be happier if you just didn’t care about her. If you didn’t care about anyone.”

“But you can’t live life like that.”

He shrugs. “It’s worked well for me my entire life. Why change a good thing now?” His eyes narrow as he stares me. “You’re awfully bold for someone I just tortured. I could so easily do it again, and you wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

“No.” I force myself to stand up straighter. “You won’t torture me again because you have no reason to do it. From what I’ve gathered about you, Erik, you only torture people you think deserve it. I deserved it in your mind because I had taken Nadia away. But she’s returned home to my father now. So, there’s no reason to hurt me again.”

“Did I hurt you? Because I seem to recall you having orgasm after orgasm. Didn’t seem that painful.”

Anger courses through me, and before I can stop myself, I slap him across the face.

Erik only laughs.

“You know it was painful,” I hiss. “That’s why you did it. Don’t get in my head.”

“I’m in your head? Good. That’s where I want to be.” He grabs my face between his hands. It doesn’t hurt, but it is a reminder that he’s stronger than I am. That he could easily hurt me if he wanted to. “I want to be the only thing you think about. I want you to be consumed by me.”

“Why? If you don’t care for me, it shouldn’t matter what I think about you.”

“Possessing you is not the same thing as caring about you. I want you to be fully mine because you’re my wife, and I’ve claimed you as mine. It’s not about love, Anya.”

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