Page 112 of Beautiful Beast

I can feel him look at me. “You don’t?”

“Not anymore.”

“What changed?”

This time, I make myself look at him, taking in his handsome face and eyes that are vulnerable for once instead of closed off. “You did. I started to see you’re not so bad. You never beat me like my father. You do like spankings, though, which I still hate, but … You stood up for me when it comes to my father. No one has ever told him to stop hurting me. Nadia would try, but he would never listen to her. No one else told him to stop despite knowing it was happening. You’re the only one. I guess that means something, you know?”

I inhale shakily as a tear escapes my eye. Erik’s eyes soften even more. He wipes the tear away and doesn’t comment on it, for which I’m grateful.

“And you invited Nadia to the party,” I continue. “I know you can’t have her stay with us because of her age. I know my father has a hold on her that you can’t break. But I saw you try tonight. You stood up for me with the Alek situation. And you didn’t exactly punish me for it. You told me to pretend. I felt how hard you spanked me. It wasn’t hard at all. There was no pain. And then you told me you gave yourself over to Dante to save me.”

“It didn’t even work. You managed to escape on your own. I couldn’t find you.”

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is you actually chose me for once and not your power. Not your job. Not the men you work with. You chose me. That changes everything, Erik.”

“So, that’s what I had to do to get you to like me? Just be selfless?”

“No. You showed me kindness in your own way. I never thought you were capable of it, yet … you showed me I was wrong.”

It’s his turn to face the ceiling and not meet my gaze. “I’ve never felt this way before,” he admits. “I don’t know what to do with it half the fucking time. I married you for power. For practical reasons. Sure, I thought you were beautiful, and it wouldn’t hurt to be married to a beautiful woman. But you’ve become more than just a pretty pawn to me, Anya.”

I have no words for what he just told me. I don’t think words could do my feelings justice.

“What does this mean for us?” I ask. “How do we go forward?”

“Something tells me I’m still going to do things that piss you off.”

“Probably. And you’re probably going to have to spank me again if you want to keep me in line.”

His lips quirk. “Probably.”

“But if you really mean it when you say you care for me, then you need to continue to show me. It’s the only way I’ll ever be able to—”fall in love with you.

Erik’s expression tells me he knows what I didn’t say out loud. “You have to try, too. While it’s fun watching you fight, I also want you to be happy in our marriage.”

“So, we both try, then. Where do we start?”

“I have to start with inviting Sergei and Ivan over and making amends with them. I’ll tell Sergei to bring Nadia so you can see her.”

“Thank you,” I say softly. “It’s the only way he’ll allow me to see her.”

“I know. But you have to try and control yourself around your father and Ivan. I know they’re taxing, but I need them right now, especially since Dante came close to killing us both. I can’t risk that happening again.”

“I know. I don’t want to be in that position ever again. I was scared. More scared than I’ve ever been.”

“Even with me?”

“I have to admit … you’re not as scary as I thought you’d be. Maybe the boogeyman is the wrong description of you.”

“What description would you use instead?”

“Nothing. You’re just a man. And I’m glad. It means I don’t have to fear you.”

Without another word, Erik pulls me into his arms, and I rest my head on his chest, letting myself relax against him completely for the first time.

Both Ivan and my father glare at me over the dinner table. The only person who’s sort of smiling is Nadia. Erik has his reserved stoic expression back in place.

He stuck true to his promise about convincing my father to bring Nadia with him to this dinner. If Erik keeps this up, I might actually begin to trust him.

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