Page 27 of Call Me Mrs. Taylor

Tan5320 facts lol

I smile. “Lowkey I kinda feel like, by the time I’ve decided to give you my number, I can already see us together, so what are we even doing here? Just fall in love with me already and stop wasting both of our time.”

I roll my eyes as I blend concealer under them. “Dudes out here needing six to eight business months of ‘good morning, beautiful’ and meaningless fucking small talk just to figure out if they’re ready for something real.”

I draw my contour, carving out my cheekbones, turning from left to right so my viewers—all thirteen of them, now—can see exactly what I’m doing.

“I say we bring back whirlwind romance. That irresponsible type shit. Let’s fall hard and fast. Two weeks in, let’s declare our undying love. Let’s develop an unhealthy attachment and make reckless decisions. Let’s trauma bond. Drama’s fun, right? Let’s fucking go! Because honestly,” I say, blending perfect shadows onto my face, “you either want me forever, or you don’t. And if you don’t, I need to know sooner rather than later so I can ruin your life accordingly.”

noribrown9000 girl whut lol

I laugh as six more viewers join the party. “Call me crazy if you want, but at least I’m honest. All of you ladies out there want the same things I do. You just don’t wanna admit it. You’re still playing nice with these nig—excuse me, with these men out here. Nice girls finish last. Matter of fact, nice girls die. How ‘bout that?”

asia2360@ who hurt you? face is tea but you maybe should talk to somebody

I reach for my shadow palette, sweeping muted mauve onto my lids. “Hurt? I prefer to say I’ve been taught. Because that’s what pain is, right? It’s a lesson. You only touch a hot stove once, right? Actually…what does that meme say? ‘Some of you bitches are very dumb,’ so I take that back.Mostof you only touch a hot stove once.”

Eight more viewers.

I smirk as I pack shimmer onto my lid. “If a man likes you, he’s showing up. He’s planting himself in your life, growing roots, and daring you to excavate his ass.”

strangerdanger6 it's giving stalker ??

“No, baby. That’s not stalking. That’s initiative.”

I let the word linger while I grab my eyeliner.

“Anyway, the moral of the story is if you like somebody, apply pressure. If you want something, take it. If you feel like life is passing you by, grab it by the throat and make it submit to you.”

I stare into my mirror and examine my work.

Flawless.

I don’t look anything like what I’ve been through.

“And that’s all I have to say about that,” I say, popping open my lip gloss. “But can we talk about this Fenty heat?”

10

Raya

As long as I have blood in my veins, oxygen in my lungs, and movement in my fingers, I will answer the phone when my Aunt Tori calls.

At the moment, I’m waiting on a call from a certain someone whose dick I sucked last night, but when I see her name pop up, I’m not even disappointed.

“Hey, Auntie.”

“Hey, baby,” she says in a voice that feels like a cozy cashmere blanket. “Listen, Jonetta called me complaining. What you do now?”

I suck my teeth, irritated that she called me just to fuss. “You know Jonetta. Always mad about nothing. I called out sick, that’s all.”

“How much notice?”

I wanna lie, but I never lie to Auntie. Well, I don’t tellmajorlies with her. “Like…an hour.”

“So that means more like ten minutes.”

“Auntie. Don’t do that.”

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